Page 8 | Guests wasting food

Belowradaring · 01/05/2025 16:05

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UnstableCrow · 01/05/2025 16:07

MrsPlantagenet · 01/05/2025 15:52

You really need to be a generous host and let this go.

She is the host and can host in any way she wants to as she is paying for it all. It all depends on how you say things.

”Ok, let’s aim for full plates and empty bins this time! Food really has gone up in price, hasn’t it. Please enjoy!”

Likewhatever · 01/05/2025 16:08

Your guest is a greedy pig who has no manners. Nothing you can do about it, just try not to watch their plate, it will spoil your day.

blisstwins · 01/05/2025 16:15

PottersMarsBars · 01/05/2025 10:03

We have a bbq coming up and one of the guests is known for overfilling her plate and only eating a small amount of it. She does it every single time. I don’t feel comfortable saying anything as it might cause friction with the relationship dynamics but seeing an obscene amount of food going into the bin really pisses me off it’s like she’s throwing my money away. On top of that she comes over with empty hands, not that we need anything but I wouldn’t go to someone’s house and not take a bottle of wine with me specially when she drinks a lot. Would it be wrong if I served her instead of letting her serve herself? Not inviting her isn’t an option unfortunately.

I know someone who does this. She is severely eating disordered. I don't think there is much you can do about it except try your best to ignore. Frustrating.

ParmaVioletTea · 01/05/2025 16:20

Let it go. Or serve people straight from the grill.

Edenmum2 · 01/05/2025 16:21

He much can one person put on her plate?!! By chance are you not keen on this person OP?

Blueskies25 · 01/05/2025 16:28

PottersMarsBars · 01/05/2025 10:03

We have a bbq coming up and one of the guests is known for overfilling her plate and only eating a small amount of it. She does it every single time. I don’t feel comfortable saying anything as it might cause friction with the relationship dynamics but seeing an obscene amount of food going into the bin really pisses me off it’s like she’s throwing my money away. On top of that she comes over with empty hands, not that we need anything but I wouldn’t go to someone’s house and not take a bottle of wine with me specially when she drinks a lot. Would it be wrong if I served her instead of letting her serve herself? Not inviting her isn’t an option unfortunately.

Depends on how well you know the person, I might say something if it was a sibling but otherwise I would be reluctant to say anything

Blueskies25 · 01/05/2025 16:29

PottersMarsBars · 01/05/2025 10:03

We have a bbq coming up and one of the guests is known for overfilling her plate and only eating a small amount of it. She does it every single time. I don’t feel comfortable saying anything as it might cause friction with the relationship dynamics but seeing an obscene amount of food going into the bin really pisses me off it’s like she’s throwing my money away. On top of that she comes over with empty hands, not that we need anything but I wouldn’t go to someone’s house and not take a bottle of wine with me specially when she drinks a lot. Would it be wrong if I served her instead of letting her serve herself? Not inviting her isn’t an option unfortunately.

Depends on how well you know the person, I might say something if it was a sibling but otherwise I would be reluctant to say anything

Jimmyneutronsforehead · 01/05/2025 16:37

Rebrand it as a bring your own bbq. BYOBBQ.

Have everyone contribute something.

Lookingtomakechanges · 01/05/2025 16:50

I would make a point of serving everyone in the queue for food. 'Just giving you one sausage and burger now; plenty more where that came from, so do come back for seconds when the next lot are ready.'
If you are that annoyed with your friend though, you might prefer not to invite her!

Belowradaring · 01/05/2025 16:51

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Lookingtomakechanges · 01/05/2025 16:55

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I never been to a BBQ without people queuing up with their plates to collect something hot off the grill.
What I meant was, offer everyone a small amount at first, not just this one friend.

Arancia · 01/05/2025 16:56

She sounds rude. Why is she even invited to your barbecue?

Viviennemary · 01/05/2025 16:58

She is quite cheeky. But it wouldnt bother me that much. But just don't invite her if it annoys you so much. Say oh I thought you didn't like barbecued food.

Oblomov25 · 01/05/2025 17:07

Have you thought about why this affects you, deep down. Because food waste at a party doesn't bother me. We host and it just doesn't register.

Normally we waste almost nothing as we take to work as much the next day, and both ds's eat huge amounts as play football etc.

is it because money is tight?

Isometimeswonder · 01/05/2025 17:11

Some replies are crazy.
Why shouldn't the op @PottersMarsBars be miffed?
I like bbq leftovers for next day, so would feel aggrieved if they went in the bin.
And of course she will notice who is wasting what, she's probably cleaning up all the plates!

GustyBaloo · 01/05/2025 17:24

Give her a smaller plate than everyone else and point out that she has less space now whilst calling her Augustus Gloop.

Don't invite her.

Signs maybe - The food taken must be eaten. If not, your half eaten burger and hot dog will be placed in a doggy bag, mixed with the remnants of salad, coleslaw, onions and ketchup for you to reheat later.
(I've just gone back to student days heaven).

Oi grabby, do you want to think twice about piling that on?

It might be a party, but it's costing us a fortune piggy plate no eats.

Portion police are patrolling

Food waste is punishable by social media.

Sorry, I'm just laying in the sunshine and can't be bothered clicking on new threads so I thought I'd concentrate on the signs.

BangersAndGnash · 01/05/2025 17:25

It is one guest.

The amount of food they waste compared to the whole amount bought and served, as well as the accumulate of other guests is presumably modest.

Doo not engage in petty passive aggressive tactics, subject all your guests to being served school dinner style , or police people’s food.

Just enjoy your BBQ, and save your worrying for the weather.

Cockenspiel · 01/05/2025 17:27

Dear lawd, the plate police are out in force tonight🤣

We host a lot of BBQ’s for friends and family and I don’t think I’d even notice if someone did this as I am too busy enjoying myself..

Seriously, lighten up for your own sanity and health..

latetothefisting · 01/05/2025 17:30

Oblomov25 · 01/05/2025 17:07

Have you thought about why this affects you, deep down. Because food waste at a party doesn't bother me. We host and it just doesn't register.

Normally we waste almost nothing as we take to work as much the next day, and both ds's eat huge amounts as play football etc.

is it because money is tight?

"Because food waste at a party doesn't bother me"
Wow, surprised you didn't include a "head tilt" in there....

Crazy thought but maybe....you and OP are different people? And see things differently? And that's OK because you aren't actually the ultimate arbitrator of right and wrong?

Why so patronising? Did you have to think "deep down" about why you don't mind food waste?

MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned · 01/05/2025 17:39

Looks like she has a weird thing about taking more food than she'll eat. You have a weird thing about policing other people's food intake and getting disproportionately anxious about a single incident of food waste. Maybe you're going to have to just accept that you both have weird things and will have to co-exist?

MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned · 01/05/2025 17:43

HiRen · 01/05/2025 12:51

My SIL did this heinously throughout her 20s. She’s calmed down a bit (but not much) in her 30s.

I remember once there was a big summer salad in a large bowl, with slices of mango arranged on top. Maybe 8 or 9 slices. Must have been about 15 guests. She took three of the slices as well as a decent portion of the salad (oh I’m not going to be eating much meat, I prefer salad anyway). She then took a cheeseburger and a hot dog, both in buns, and a half corn on the cob. She’s tiny btw, couldn’t have weighed more than 90lbs, and eats like a bird.

All three slices of mango went in the bin - she tasted one and decided it wasn’t sweet enough. Two bites out of the burger. One out of the hot dog. It was all her mum’s cooking, and my MIL is an AMAZING cook, FIL a pro at the BBQ. Like, they regularly host 30-40 people during the holidays, never look flustered, we always bring food home, she always asks for requests and makes it. She’s and amazing home cook.

This same SIL also sees it as some sort of warped badge of honour to be profligate with single-use plastic (she gets that from her parents) and almost shows off that she doesn’t take doggy bags home. It’s so, so weird. I think she thinks it makes her look like she can afford financially not to have to worry about wastage, and make like she’s so busy and cool doing fun stuff she’d never get around to dealing with taking leftovers home / putting them in the fridge / eating them before they go off.

Anyway, I couldn’t hold it in the last time I witnessed it. Shouldn’t have but did say “look, we know you’re only interested in your own future but there are people here who are going to pay the price for our consumption habits after we’re gone. Can’t you be a bit more considerate about wasting food? Using paper towels when there’s a cloth right there? Not taking more than you’re going to eat?” I think I went on a bit because she was upset. Honestly, I don’t regret it. She was totally in the wrong.

That was probably about 10 years ago. She hasn’t changed much but she’s calmed down a bit. I just block my mind to it now. She always behaves herself when she’s at our house but it’s pretty much unchanged at her parents’ house (and she never invites us over to hers, because - as she says - she can’t cook and the take out options are better at ours).

Long story, but basically I agree OP!

Do you really, honestly think it makes one jot of difference to the future of the planet if your SIL uses paper towels not a cloth and sometimes takes more food than she eats? Was it really worth being nasty to a family member over? And why's anyone having takeaway at all at your house if you're so sanctimonious about wasting a bit of plastic or paper?

Init4thecatz · 01/05/2025 17:45

The problem with spreading it out is there's nothing to stop her taking one bite from everything, in series, rather than all at once. Same result.

I'd be mega pissed if she then went back for 'new' stuff.

LoafofSellotape · 01/05/2025 17:45

EleanorReally · 01/05/2025 10:36

she is your guest!

Exactly! I have to say we have people over all the time and I couldn't tell you how much they left on their plates. Unless she's chucking huge steaks away without eating them then leave her to it.

BethDuttonYeHaw · 01/05/2025 17:48

You can serve her if you serve everyone else too.

but you can’t single her out without being a rude arsehole