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Original poster

Guests wasting food

283 replies

PottersMarsBars · 01/05/2025 10:03

We have a bbq coming up and one of the guests is known for overfilling her plate and only eating a small amount of it. She does it every single time. I don’t feel comfortable saying anything as it might cause friction with the relationship dynamics but seeing an obscene amount of food going into the bin really pisses me off it’s like she’s throwing my money away. On top of that she comes over with empty hands, not that we need anything but I wouldn’t go to someone’s house and not take a bottle of wine with me specially when she drinks a lot. Would it be wrong if I served her instead of letting her serve herself? Not inviting her isn’t an option unfortunately.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 03/05/2025 02:23

If you despise them that much then don't invite them.

DraigCymraeg · 03/05/2025 12:06

PottersMarsBars · 01/05/2025 10:03

We have a bbq coming up and one of the guests is known for overfilling her plate and only eating a small amount of it. She does it every single time. I don’t feel comfortable saying anything as it might cause friction with the relationship dynamics but seeing an obscene amount of food going into the bin really pisses me off it’s like she’s throwing my money away. On top of that she comes over with empty hands, not that we need anything but I wouldn’t go to someone’s house and not take a bottle of wine with me specially when she drinks a lot. Would it be wrong if I served her instead of letting her serve herself? Not inviting her isn’t an option unfortunately.

Yes - serve it up yourself and if possible use a smaller plate. If she makes a comment, I'd say 'I've noticed you only have a small appetite, and we all hate waste don't we'?.

JP313 · 03/05/2025 12:12

Meadowfinch · 01/05/2025 10:16

I always serve barbecue food, cook it in series, so things aren't all cooked, and risk it burning at the same time.

I'd put bread, salads and drinks out, and have the sausages ready first. Serve everyone a sausage, then the steaks and then the chicken which takes longest to cook anyway, so perfectly reasonable.

My parents do this when we all go there and it really works because you just stop taking things when you're full. Saves cooking too much and wasting it too if everyone's had enough

RAVENCONNIE · 03/05/2025 12:13

It's ESPECIALLY, not specially

PottersMarsBars · 01/05/2025 10:03
We have a bbq coming up and one of the guests is known for overfilling her plate and only eating a small amount of it. She does it every single time. I don’t feel comfortable saying anything as it might cause friction with the relationship dynamics but seeing an obscene amount of food going into the bin really pisses me off it’s like she’s throwing my money away. On top of that she comes over with empty hands, not that we need anything but I wouldn’t go to someone’s house and not take a bottle of wine with me Webster's Dictionary specially when she drinks a lot. (It's ALOT...one word, ya dumb dumb). Would it be wrong if I served her instead of letting her serve herself? Not inviting her isn’t an option unfortunately.

RAVENCONNIE · 03/05/2025 12:15

Also...there's the eating disorder part we should all consider. Also...maybe your she gives your food a solid chance everything. But each time, she can't bear to eat it. Cause maybe it's not the best?

RAVENCONNIE · 03/05/2025 12:17

Lastly...who BBQ's in January? Your post was on Jan. 5th. Wondering what the deal is here.

UnstableCrow · 03/05/2025 12:18

RAVENCONNIE · 03/05/2025 12:17

Lastly...who BBQ's in January? Your post was on Jan. 5th. Wondering what the deal is here.

First of May…

RAVENCONNIE · 03/05/2025 12:21

Love that correction.

RAVENCONNIE · 03/05/2025 12:22

D/M/Y...thanks

IndigoViolent · 03/05/2025 12:26

RAVENCONNIE · 03/05/2025 12:15

Also...there's the eating disorder part we should all consider. Also...maybe your she gives your food a solid chance everything. But each time, she can't bear to eat it. Cause maybe it's not the best?

Apart from that being a shitty thing to say, who takes a huge plateful every time and then realises they don’t like it? Maybe learn from experience?

SanFairyAnnie · 03/05/2025 12:28

RAVENCONNIE · 03/05/2025 12:17

Lastly...who BBQ's in January? Your post was on Jan. 5th. Wondering what the deal is here.

Why are you correcting the op's grammar?
She can use " a lot" in English if she wishes.

IndigoViolent · 03/05/2025 12:29

(It's ALOT...one word, ya dumb dumb)

😆😆😆

IndigoViolent · 03/05/2025 12:30

SanFairyAnnie · 03/05/2025 12:28

Why are you correcting the op's grammar?
She can use " a lot" in English if she wishes.

Show quote history

And there’s no such word as “alot”. So it isn’t a correction - it’s a cock-up.

lostinthesunshine · 03/05/2025 12:32

IndigoViolent · 03/05/2025 12:29

(It's ALOT...one word, ya dumb dumb)

😆😆😆

😂@RAVENCONNIE I really hope those comments were satirical 😂

Mommy2cy · 03/05/2025 12:52

I have to agree with those who are saying to let it go. This is a bit extreme. Do you have some other underlying issue with her?

She could have a weird relationship with food. Perhaps an eating disorder or like others have said, maybe the food isn't great but either way seems unnecessary to make a thing out of it just for one single plate of food. I also hate wasting food but it never crossed my mind to tell other adults (other than my husband) to not waste food. This seems like a you problem.

Since it does seem like a you problem, perhaps you can announce to all your guests when they get there to not take more than they will eat because you hate waste.

Maz452020 · 03/05/2025 13:55

Honestly I'd talk about it with her in context like your talking about someone else..like "oh my god,the last bbq at my families there was this guy filling his plate and wasting his food..my blood was boiling, I mean how disrespectful is that"
Trust me,she won't do it after that.

Mummyisfunny · 03/05/2025 13:55

Just mine sweep her plate, when she leaves it all again. As you loudly announce. You leaving all that food again Doris? Didn't you ever see Live Aid and Bob Geldof with all them starving kids in Africa??
Then Shove her left overs in your gob right in front of her.😆😆

Maz452020 · 03/05/2025 13:58

You are incorrect!. It's a lot! Most misspelled. So before you try and make jokes, perhaps check your English first. Then you don't look a twat!.

UnstableCrow · 03/05/2025 14:47

I’m not from the UK but I was taught it’s a lot…maybe not then.

AMalePerspectives · 03/05/2025 15:19

MrsEverest · 01/05/2025 10:19

Dear god what a joyless host.

If you’re happy serving sausages and burgers you’re not the environmental warrior you think you are. Be a gracious host.

The suggestions to give her a doggy bag!! I can’t imagine being so rude.

The alternative of course would be to make nicer food.

Edited
Show quote history

But there is no need to be totally greedy and take more then you can eat, what it wrong with someone doing a nice thing and stopping someone from taking the piss out of it

thepariscrimefiles · 03/05/2025 15:24

RAVENCONNIE · 03/05/2025 12:13

It's ESPECIALLY, not specially

PottersMarsBars · 01/05/2025 10:03
We have a bbq coming up and one of the guests is known for overfilling her plate and only eating a small amount of it. She does it every single time. I don’t feel comfortable saying anything as it might cause friction with the relationship dynamics but seeing an obscene amount of food going into the bin really pisses me off it’s like she’s throwing my money away. On top of that she comes over with empty hands, not that we need anything but I wouldn’t go to someone’s house and not take a bottle of wine with me Webster's Dictionary specially when she drinks a lot. (It's ALOT...one word, ya dumb dumb). Would it be wrong if I served her instead of letting her serve herself? Not inviting her isn’t an option unfortunately.

No, you are wrong and OP is right. It is 'a lot', not 'alot'.

thepariscrimefiles · 03/05/2025 15:27

RAVENCONNIE · 03/05/2025 12:15

Also...there's the eating disorder part we should all consider. Also...maybe your she gives your food a solid chance everything. But each time, she can't bear to eat it. Cause maybe it's not the best?

If OP's food is so bad, why does this guest help herself to such large portions? Surely if you are correct, she must know that she doesn't enjoy the food so would only take a very small amount?

Cicicampbell · 03/05/2025 15:28

I kind can tolerate waste from children but no excuse from adults. Personally I would ask everyone to bring there drinks, or contribute in some way. Failing that doggy bag would be a good option

Mummyisfunny · 03/05/2025 15:29

Start an argument with her over whether a lot or alot is grammatically correct before she loads up her plate with food she's going to leave. You can then tell her GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!! Peggy Mitchell style before any more food wastage occurs.

CRCGran · 03/05/2025 18:14

Do you have to invite her ??