To be pee'd off that ppl think single mums are loaded!!!

[LonelySingleMummy]

I am a single mum of a 6 month old boy and struggle!!! A lot of ppl think single parents get loads of benefits etc and have a cushy life ?!? Who? What? Where? !!!
For the 1st 4 weeks of my son's life i breastfed but i couldnt afford to eat more than one meal a day so i had to bottle feed (another expense) by this time my tax credits had come thru cos yes i was a worker. This helped me out but I am by no means well off and struggle every week. I have to sell the house before they repossess. I can't afford any little luxuries like wine or take aways. I go nowhere and meet no-one. Who says I get more than anyone else.
Sorry rant over lol

most of the people who think like that know one person who they believe are a benefit cheat, and extrapolate from them to 'all single mums are scum'.its incredibly sad.

the amount of bullshit i've seen on here saying 'so-and-so is definitely on benefits, and has a flat screen' blah.

you sure you're claiming all you're entitled to?
did you / are you getting smp or mp?

((((((((((((((((((((((lsm)))))))))))))))))))))))))

i used to work but had to resign as dd and i found it difficult- has just split from her dad and she needed me at home at the time. what really gets my goat is that people now think i am a lady of leisure!!!!!!!!!!! with pots of cash
what is leisure?
what is cash????????

I am recently a single mum. Currently my children and I live with my parents and we are very lucky to have that option because if I did not I would be in serious sh*t.

i live on my own with dd a couple of hundred odd miles away from brother and sis and about hundred from moms brother. my mom died 9 years ago next month, my dad remarried about 6ish years ago and haven't seen him since. so am on my own and although i find it difficult, i can feel my mom's spirit around me when i am going through a tough time. i split from xp in september last year although i had felt like lp for loooooong time before i made the final leap so to speak, dd i smuch happier and i know that i made the right decision. what i dislike is his aunty trying to get us back together for dd's sake. more like her sake.

Probably because we all know someone who is?

There is a one-off payment grant that you can apply for when your baby is born if you are very hard up. I think it is for £500.

Im a single mum, with 2 kids self employed and my income is, i think, £10/20 a week less than what someone claming as LP would get.
I run a car, we are not short of gas electric or food. In fact we are no worse off than when we lived with XP and he earnt 500 a week.
I can afford wine. And take aways.
Do you not get about £160 a week and your rent/council tax paid?

You should surely be entitled to Healthy Start vouchers? See your HV and get her to fill out the forms and get the application in. The sooner the better as it goes from your application is dated and sent in. If you are entitled, you'll get £24 every 4 weeks until baby is 1, then it halves. You can spend it on fruit, veg and milk in supermarkets and I think most shops. I've found that supermarkets will take more than 1 voucher even if you've only bought say, 1 bottle of milk, but got other types of groceries. It saves the day for me!
Sounds like you need to have a chat at your local Job Centre Plus too to see what you are entitled to. I felt quite ashamed when I first went there, but you know what? I've worked hard for all of my adult life, so I no longer feel like that. I know I'll go back to work soon enough, so getting help to pay the mortgage, income support and milk vouchers on top of child tax credit and child benefit helps me to scrape by...I do have my parents too, and dad sometimes hands me a tenner to help out, bless him.

You've nothing to lose and everything to gain, so get on the phone to start the ball rolling. If they really can't help you, then sell your house, but try everything else first. Good Luck!

SMK, I know what you mean about the pram thing. It p's me off too! I had second hand ones from Freecycle until Dd's daddy bought her a new one. I
I saw just the other day some very obvious Romanian gypsies pushing a beautiful new pram around. They are the very people selling the big issue! how does that work then? Don't get me started on that!

Most of my Dc's clothes are from Primark or Asda if they are new(birthdays/Easter/Christmas presents), but a lot are from Freecycle too if I can find them before they go. I'm not extravagant, I've started to bake for school pack ups and I give severe warnings to Ds about looking after his shoes so that they last! It has been a difficult transition for him because I've always worked and had enough money to be relatively comfortable. Very different to now, but he appreciates what we are doing and having me at home for him is something he just loves, so accepts most of the time that money is tight. Dd doesn't care! she's too young to know.

I don't think it's exactly that people think lone parents are loaded, but that compared to a lot of couples with a young family, they seem to get an awful lot of help. For instance, I know several lone mothers who stay at home with their preschool children, whereas a lot of couples I know with young children cannot afford the luxury of a parent at home. I'm not suggesting the lone mothers are loaded - far from it - but if you are getting your housing, council tax etc paid, and receieving benefits, then in this day and age it's quite possible to be able to afford to live more easily than a low income young couple paying rent/mortgage, all their bills etc. There is a very real 'trap' for many couple where one partner earns just enough to not qualify for benefits, but nowhere near enough to support a family.
I also agree with the post about some young lone mothers having the latest model of pram etc which doesnt do any favours as far as their image is concerned. It's the same round here - the lone teenage mums often seem to have all the designer gear, can afford formula feeds etc and often afford to smoke as well!!! It's this kind of thing that doesnt look good when you've got families scrimping to afford a secondhand pram.

The roman gypsies are working to pay for the pram They BUY the big issue and sell it for a profit, if they work hard they will make money? Whats the problem with that. The fact they are selling the big issude means they are homeless, or in a hostel or in temp accommodation, not to be envied??!!

Well I only got £112 pw maternity from september to december - he was born 5 Nov. Mid december my healthy start, child tax credits and child benefit all started at once. Apart from back pay of mortgage!!! and bills!!! was ok for basics then. Xmas was done via ebay and he only got about 30 quid spent then. Everyone had about a fiver or nothing.
I don;'t get any help with mortgage as you have to wait 46 weeks from applying - almost a year! they wouldve chucked me out by then. I get £2 pw off my council tax. I only got healthy start for a month cos then they said i didnt need it as i got tax credits. My working tax credits only started last month and had to be back paid so that went to the mortgage company. I sold my car and bought a banger. That £ went to mortgage company. Last month my son's "father" started paying £5 pw . That'll help...
Anyways, i have to work or live on £130 pw which i cannot do. Can anyone??? My outgoings are £300 pw at moment including £20 food for me and £5 petrol. I have no choice but to sell house as am in arrears. It's just a case of when they get sick of waiting
I dont think i am unreasonable being annoyed that ppl seem to think I can and would cope on benefits when i dont get any!
lmao

Bills
mortgage 112
gas 25
Electric 12
water 10
insurance home 5
insurance car 13
life assurance 3
telephone 14
council tax 10
tv licence 3
CCJs ~ 8

Living Expenses
food & cleaning 25
fuel & road tax 10
dog food 5
nappies 9
baby food 15
baby clothes etc10

Total £280 pw

You try yours... You'll be surprised x

Mortgage of only £112 per week sounds like a dream come true.... where do you live?? And council tax of only £10 a week.....
Sorry, maybe that sound unsympathetic, but in many areas you're looking at at least £200 per week for rent/mortgage. £15 a week baby food..... what's wrong with pureeing ordinary food? I'm not suggesting you've got it easy..... but I think you maybe don't realise that many other people struggle too.

Ah its the mortgage thats killing you, if you take that off you have JUST the right right amount to live on, not be flush or anything but Just Getting By.
What happens to your benefits when you have sold the house? Do you know? Where are you going to live?

I am a single parent and I do not receive anything from my dd dad. I had to use my savings when on maternity leave and had to go back to work when my dd was 5 months and one week. She is now 16 months. No help with morgage, no help with council tax, small amount of tax credits as b4 having dd I had a good salary, not so now.

My friend tells me sad news that she has split up with partner so had to find rented acc for her and her 2 teenage children. Telling me how much better off she is. Has lovely house near me with rent paid by HB and gets 550 per month tax credits. She works full time (saying to me how can anyone live on 19K a year) No childcare costs. I nearly make my tongue bleed with biting on it.

All my food is home cooked, I never received any food vouchers. I breast fed (handy it was free but was best thing for dd that was why and expressed when at work)

I have a nice pram, a bugaboo, I can't get to the gym so it helps me to keep fit as I do tons of walking when not at work!

It is hard work, you are right, I would love to be a SAHM as I can never get back the time I have lost. I hope it gets easier for you.

I'm a single parent and get really fed up when my so-called friends, mostly women with husbands and no real money worries, tell me how lucky I am.

Bringing up a child single-handed is really, really hard and struggling with very little money makes it harder still.

I hope things improve for you soon, but in the meantime try to ignore what other people might think. You're doing the best you can and I'm sure you're doing a great job.

Several people have sniped recently on mn about single parents being able to afford to stay at home while both members of a couple have to work.

The usual scenario is that single mothers cant afford to go to work, because they cant earn enough on one salary to support the family. Just like the couple, really. Please get this into your heads.

And teh couple who are both forced to go out to work, may be paying a mortgage. The single mother on benefits almost certainly won't be, unless she's very lucky she will be in rented accommodation with no prospect of getting on the property ladder. Please consider this too, when you criticise her.

well, I have 4 children, and only manage it now that Ive moved to germany, where my job is better paid than in the UK.

LSM, You can get housing benefit(if you are getting income support, and please try to see them about it)after 26 weeks of claiming IS unless you have remortgaged, in which case it is after 39 weeks of IS. I've just been granted HB and they are paying the interest for me, so I'll just need to pay the remainder. Sounds like you need to get reliable advice. I honestly thought I'd be in the position you describe and I've fought to keep my head above water, but so far I have managed.
Unless the rules have changed, the mortgage lender doesn't start to take repossession steps until you are 24 months in arrears. So, if you are for instance paying half of your mortgage, it'd take 48 months. Like I said, the rules may have changed, but it's worth talking to your lender and taking any help they can offer you.
Please, please get advice.

I told everyone that I was no longer giving Christmas and birthday gifts and they were very understanding, and to tell the truth, it would've been tough if they weren't. My children come first. I didn't even spend £30 on my Dd, (and it was her birthday on Boxing Day too!) but I did try to save a bit for my Ds as he's been a real star. Book clubs are a great idea.

I decided to stay at home on a career break to care for my Dc's simply because it was going to cost me £1100 a month minimum for a CM...Once I'd paid my mortgage, I didn't have any money left. Even the tax relief for child care wasn't going to help a great deal. The woman at the JC+ worked out my entitlements and if I'd returned to work, I'd have been £114.50 worse off a week than if I stayed at home with my kids. Minus money for doing my job? Yeah right! getting up at 04.30 and my lo's up at 5am. Trying to find a CM willing to take them at 05.45 and me not picking them up until 20.00hours. Weekend working? don't even go there, I didn't include that cost! There is a lot more to some peoples lives than everyone realises-me included. I've learned that you have to be well informed and ask if you aren't in the know.
Not looking for sympathy here, I'm just trying to let you know that you aren't alone and that if you ask, you might be surprised at the help you can get. Please don't give up.

I save money by making my own baby food and am still breast feeding. We don't have ready made meals, I cook from scratch, but that's not a new thing. Don't have take aways, sweets or extras. We have an occasional treat, but that's rare. I borrowed the remaining years loan money for my car from my dad as I'd paid 3 out of 4 years and it didn't work out to be viable to get a banger at that point. I'm unable to walk far atm due to illness, but want to walk more when I'm able to cut out diesel costs.