To be pee'd off that ppl think single mums are loaded!!!

[LonelySingleMummy]

I am a single mum of a 6 month old boy and struggle!!! A lot of ppl think single parents get loads of benefits etc and have a cushy life ?!? Who? What? Where? !!!
For the 1st 4 weeks of my son's life i breastfed but i couldnt afford to eat more than one meal a day so i had to bottle feed (another expense) by this time my tax credits had come thru cos yes i was a worker. This helped me out but I am by no means well off and struggle every week. I have to sell the house before they repossess. I can't afford any little luxuries like wine or take aways. I go nowhere and meet no-one. Who says I get more than anyone else.
Sorry rant over lol

im a single paretn but luckyenuogh not to have the financail struggle.i dont know how yuo all do it.itake my hat off to the lot of yuo.xx

I have half as much money coming in now I am single, but twice as much in my hand. You do the maths .

I work part time and get tax credits and feel I am reasonably well off. I decide to keep on the house and mortgage as it is only £388 a month and I would struggle to rent for that. I do consider it an asset and thinkof it as my future pension.

I am not rolling in it by any strtch of the imagination but I have enough moeny for a few luxuries. Most of my money goes on the kids actvities as that is my priority (after the bills are paid).

ditch the car and save £26/month. also, does a baby need £10 worth of clothes/month?

also, why are you not getting any maintenance out of your baby's father?

lots of people can't afford takeaways or 'little luxuries', but they're a priviledge and not a right.

lots of people go nowhere and struggle every week.

it's hardly a condition exclusive to loan parents.

BTW I have paid tax all my adult life and never not had a job, even when at college. I am studying full time.

I would work full time but I couldn't afford childcare or even find any that would work out for me. So I will have to take the little bit of help I get in the form of tax credits.

Expat, I have a mortgage and yes, I have some equity in my house, but, and it's a big but, if I rented, I'd have more - if not all my rent paid for me. As it is, I will have to pay 3/5ths of my mortgage payments. I'm happy to do so too. I've paid all of my payment every month so far. I place keeping my home at the top of my list of priorities, along with feeding and clothing my Dc's.
I get £23 a week IS. I think my total income before being granted some HB was about £188 pw, my mort took most of that, so as you can understand, there is more going out on basics than is coming in. I've worked and paid taxes, NI etc since I was 16, I'm not ashamed to finally have something given back to me now to help me and mine. I've never claimed anything except my 25% discount on the council tax before.

Of course there are lots of single parents who struggle, just as there are lots of couples who sneer. Convo has been had before don't want to go there, however I think some single parents who are at home full time fail to recognise
a) that there are lots of couples who struggle
b) that they are lucky to be financially supported by the taxpayer to stay at home
c) anyone with a property is so far ahead of those without currently that it has been said unless something radical happens the have nots will never catch up and there will be an underclass based solely around whether you bought a property pre 2000 (or whatever)

My thoughts re mortgage and CT was that they were weekly figures (or daily!) but I do live in London. I also wondered how Lewisfan was going to apy her childcare, I'm guesing she's not London

To get back to OP

www.entitledto.com might be worth checking

mumsnets favourite site

Also need to cut gas and electricity don't know about water unless you are metered you can't cut it I guess. Cut phone calls ? get rid of TV, get quotes for insurance and try and better them when renewals due.

Stop buying baby food and feed your lo real stuff, don't need all those clothes (get gifts, hand me downs, freecycle etc). Walk more to stop buying fuel ?maybe get rid of the dog and get washable nappies from freecycle (maybe local council has a scheme) if any money left over pay off CCJ in advance and there's a bit more for you.
That's about an extra 63 (plus dog food and maybe even the nappies)

I accept you might think the dog is a step too far!

Twinklemegan points out the real problem here. There is frequently very little incentive for people to work. Many people are nearly as well off on benefits as they would be working. Then you have cases like the one i mentioned earlier - single parent, colleague of mine, who has two 17 yr olds and works 4 days a week rather than 5 because her kids would lose £30 a week EACH EMA if she were to work full time! There are so many anolmalies and loopholes in the system, and I also think things have gone so far in favour of lone parents that couple on low incomes can be worse off. The only solution is to have a bigger gap between benefits and minimum wage. If benefits enabled you to live, and by that I mean eat, have a roof over your head and clothes to wear, but not money to splurge on holidays, latest gadgets, fags etc, and the lowest paid jobs enabled you to see a real difference in your life style - ie spending money for a holiday. gadgets, new clothes, takeaway - then people would soon realise the advantages of working. It really is the only way. Personally I beleive there's a lot more to working than just getting the pay cheque - I think it's hugely important for self esteem, confidence etc - but there are a hard core of people who aren't interested in that, and the only way to get them working is financial incentive. I realise this is diverging from the OP, but it's connected as a number of people have raised this issue of there not being the incentives to get people to be self reliant.

Starlight - he's in school so that's a lot of the day, students get an 85% of costs grant and I have a supportive mother to help too (she's insisted - I didn't ask)

Could someone please give me some detail about morgage payments? Surely the morgage is up to me to pay if I have one as it is an asset like savings etc? Please I am only asking as I have never heard of this before, a bit like those food vouchers? Or is it something that if you are eligable for you are told automatically rather than you have to claim? Surely that can't be right (bit like dd dad not paying any maintenace but don't get me started on that).

yeah I am a single mum and skint, no support from useless father and only survive thanks to having a very kind mother who lets us live in her house! Would have to work full time if wanted to live independently which I don't want to do as would miss dd too much and already resent the 3 days a week I do work. We live by not buying any extras to food or fuel, clothes are handmedowns from friends or jumble sales and generally living like paupers. Will eventually of course have to move out one day but to be honest am dreading it as it is hard now so god knows how we would cope alone. XxX

carrielou

i think you normally have to wait a long time to have mortgage payments (interest only) paid, not sure how long. You may be eligible for them to be paid sooner if your husband abandoned you.

Thanks Harpomarx, dd is 16 months now so looks like something else I am not eligable for then, honestly have never heard of it anyway. No husband sadly, always been my house/morgage dd dad pays maintenance for his kids from his marriage, we are left to fend for ourselves!

this type of housing benefit would not be avalaible to you, carrielou, as your hardship is the result of your husband's having to pay maintenance on other children.

it is for people on Income Support, Incapcity Benefit and the like.

Cheers, did think it sounded odd anyway, I did only think it was rent that possibly could have an element paid. DD dad and I can't agree that he must contribute something for his children yet he feels our dd is my responsiblility. We were not married, together 6 years b4 dd that put an end to our relationship. Whilst the pride aspect in me wants to do everything myself my salary just does not stretch that far. I am using savings to top up the shortfall but when that runs out I don't know. It's a catch 22, have to work to pay my way, don't earn enough though to do this. Nothing I can do though that's just the way it goes, I have a gorgous healthy dd so I am thankful.

hi me and my partner struggle and have no spare cash for luxuarys, we dont have a morgage tho. Its not just lone parents that struggle its couples too. We cant afford a morgage. Your entitled to MA for 39 weeks if u worked perviously.
I think alot of single parents r rich is because when i worked full time my friend who was a single parent got more than me in benefits and most of her bills paid. You must admit benefits do favour single parents.

My dh earns well and I have a great part time job that pays fairly well, we've been broke in the past and it's great to be doing well again. However, I would not ever judge single parents, because my mother was one and I know exactly what it's like to struggle financially. I know what it's like to be the child who doesn't go with their friends ice-skating/cinema etc because I couldn't bare to see the look on my Mum's face when yet again she had to say she couldn't afford it.

Yes, family life is hard and expensive - before I worked and dh didn't earn so well we struggled very hard, but I wouldn't suggest for one moment it's the same.

Don't be so judgemental. I want luxuries, so why the hell shouldn't single Mums fgs.

Carrielou, are you a single mum? if so and not working are you claiming IS? If yes, then yes, you can claim HB with a mortgaged property, it will take a while as you aren't entitled immediately, but if you can keep it going until you are...I managed it somehow and it's just started for me(so I know it's right in a lot of cases). Phone or make an appointment at your local JC+, they are quite helpful. I found out today that I can get free school meals and help with uniform for my Ds(poor love has been wearing a very short jumper)when I went for my back to work interview. There are loads of incentives for getting back to work if it is right for you.
Take a look and ask. They may not tell you all of what you are entitled to, but if you ask them ' am I entitled to IS, HB, CTB' etc, they will tell you.

absolutely scanner

actually a luxury for me is being able to take dd out for a pizza, or get fish and chips on a friday night, or buy contact lens cleaner, or get my hair cut!

your savings, however, carrie, will be taken into consideration when you apply for HB.

'Don't be so judgemental. I want luxuries, so why the hell shouldn't single Mums fgs. '

Well, quite, scanner, but luxuries aren't a right. For anyone - single or not. That's why they are luxuries.

There are many things people want but can't have all the time for lack of funds - takeaways, little luxuries, etc.

If the OP is saying she is not eating I'd hardly think having little luxuries and takeaways is a priority.

I think there are two connecting points, as some have said they are single parents who work part-time because they want to spend more time with their dcs but they get to do that due to the hard work of some parent couples who both work full-time and would probably also like to spend more time wiht thier dcs but for several reasons can't do that. These can include having a good work ethic, having a mortgage, having a career etc etc.

Scanner I don't think anyone would begrudge any single parent luxuries it's just that as others have said the gap between a 'benefit lifestyle' for some and the lifestyle of 'working poor' couples just isn't there. I frequently hear of people who can't afford to go back to work and it's not just the cost of childcare.

Is the gov paying mortgage interest only available to those who had a mortgage before whatever date? (?1998) or is it anyone? isn't there a period of 10 months or something where you get nothing?

I mean, it's nice to be able to get your hair cut, take the wee ones out for fish and chips.

But no one is entitled to that.

At present, we can't afford any of that ourselves.

But so what?

That's how it is right now.

It's enough that we have a roof over our heads and aren't going hungry.

Thankyou expat.

I mean, what's enough? Bills paid? Or does there have to be 'luxuries', too?

Says who?

'Oh, I paid into the system for years.'

Well, so do most people.

It entitles us to live in a society where for the most part, our lives are not challenged by war or famine, where we aren't forced to work in slave conditions, where there is a safety net in times of trouble.

But somehow that's not enough? It also has to pay interest on your mortgage, allow you to run a car, have net access and 'little luxuries', too?

For years and years.

How so?

I'm not meaning this to be persnickety, I really would like to know how people come to have such a sense of entitlement?

I read an interesting survey the other day as what people thought constituted luxuries as

lets just say they were different from the views we held

they had one holiday a year and satellite TV down as essentials

I think because they have so once you start you get the slippery slope effect.

I was reading in the paper today about how in some towns 1:5 of working age population is on sick pay, and they will all be forced to go on job seekers instead. The concern was that they were mainly unskilled and that jobs would have to be found for them all. (I have vaguely predicted that if we are really having a credit crunch and recession follows the benefit system in the UK will have to change and it will be a troubled time.

If the balance is re done there will be a lot of aggrevied people, with a sense of entitlement which will remain unfilled. This will affect those remaining on generous benefits as much if not more than those who work.