To be pee'd off that ppl think single mums are loaded!!!

[LonelySingleMummy]

I am a single mum of a 6 month old boy and struggle!!! A lot of ppl think single parents get loads of benefits etc and have a cushy life ?!? Who? What? Where? !!!
For the 1st 4 weeks of my son's life i breastfed but i couldnt afford to eat more than one meal a day so i had to bottle feed (another expense) by this time my tax credits had come thru cos yes i was a worker. This helped me out but I am by no means well off and struggle every week. I have to sell the house before they repossess. I can't afford any little luxuries like wine or take aways. I go nowhere and meet no-one. Who says I get more than anyone else.
Sorry rant over lol

No, well, that is true. Things will get better.

Many of us feel guilty for not BFing or ending BF relatively early.

Have you seen your GP?

You sound down and there's help for that, too.

But seriously, claim what you can and see a housing officer about your situation as soon as.

It can help you feel more in control of the situation.

BBC site: here

Offers some opening pointers on help.

As a lone parent on benefits you are also eligible to use Legal Aid. Make an appointment with the CAB to discuss.

Oh my God, LSM, you poor thing. I am fortunate to be married, but in many other respects I could have written your last post. I don't know what to say to you, because only you can change how you feel about these things. It's so easy to say you mustn't feel guilty, but it is so much harder to make that change inside yourself. I hope you get a good night's sleep. Come back tomorrow, read through all the great advice on this thread and you keep posting here for any more support that you need. xx

Does anyone know if you get much more working tax credits by increasing your working hours, we are really confused by this. My sister works 16 hours a week and gets TC's she would like to increase to 30 hours or maybe just under but is so worried that if she does that her TC's will go down alot and she doesn't want to end up worse off??? Anyone got any ideas?

I think there is a 30+ hours element to the WTC which would kick in, thereby offsetting the inevitable reduction.

it depends, on whether her child is in care with a registered childminder, the age of her child, if she or the child is disabled and of course, the income.

i think she should contact the TCO to get a beter idea or even run an estimate online.

dont let it get you down lonely single mum i have been your position before (where you need to decide what is more impportant buying leccy and nappies coz has turned out you need both in same week or eating?)

i lived off little more than two low fat yoghurts a day when dd1 was young as had just moved and needed to save as much as i could for furniture (i didnt even have a fridge)

move on four years and am starting uni in sept and moving in with dp (who i have dd2 with) very shortly and even though i dont live with dp right now i know that he would never see me in that position again

i havent read all the posts so i dont know if this has been mentioned before but to get anything from the csa you need to fight, go to your local mp and phone the csa
constantly, every day if needs be, while on benefit you will only be entitled to £20 a week of it but its still £20 a week more than you had before

£20 a week? That's not kicked in yet has it? As far as I'm aware it's still only £10 per week

Thanks all I dont feel quite so dramatic today but my previous post still applies x

Lonelysinglemummy - I also feel guilty that my child will be an only child. But this is because DH and I have to work FT and we cannot afford childcare fees for more than 1 child.

I wish though that I too had the luxury of being able to stay at home - the extra time with my child may make me feel guilty about the only child aspect!

All single parents are loaded?? who thinks that???

i can't afford to work. would love to but can't afford it. would need to work god knows how many hours to pay for house, car i would need to drive and its related costs etc, bills, childcare, ....

please don't anyone assume that all single parents are layabouts cos we're not.

Fransmom, there are so many benefits that single mothers get that enables them to work. You are lucky you have a choice (at least until your child/children reaches age 7 with the new rules that will shortly apply) - most people wouldnt eat or have a roof over their head if they didnt work.

Allnew states that she cannot afford another child, seems pretty unfair that by working and providing for family she is penalised and has no choice whether or not to work or extend her family.

Nonsense, happymum. They would get benefits, or rely on the wage of their spouse/partner.

Single mothers don't have this much fabled choice - precious few would choose to live on benefits if they really are better off working.

And the benefits DONT cover the costs of working. They really dont. You have to have a good job.

the other thing you have to think about when people think that single mums are loaded is

when you are receiving benefits you dont have to pay for prescriptions or school dinners and I'm sure there are others

these things really add up

I have to ay that I don't fuly understand the 'i can't afford to work' thing.

I am a single mum of 3, looking for work, and each time I see a job that I can apply for, I work out wether i'd be better off, what benefits i'd still be entitled to, what i'd no longer be entitled to etc, and so far, I have never worked out that i'd be worse off.
I'd not be loads better off either, but definatly not worse off even with childcare, because as a LP in a low paid job, i'd care up to 80% of childcare costs paid.

Perhaps when I actually get a job, the reality will be different, but I hope not.

cracker, when I first started working I was getting the average wage at the time, and we were losing money. whatever you get for childcare doesnt cover the cost of it.

Nonsense nighbynight. I know several couples where both partners have to work. They don't have the luxury of choice. One partner does NOT earn enough to live on, and they arent eligible for the benefits that lone parents get. Get real.

Most people arent living on such low standards as single parents on benefits. I am real thank you - I have sole responsibility, 100% of the time, for my family's financial situation.

If you aren't entitled to your rent paid, council tax paid etc and your partner's wages don't cover these then yes, I would say it's perfectly possible to be up shit creek.

Alfiesbabe, do you trawl mn looking for threads about single parents to moan on ?>

You sem to have a real bee in your bonnet about it. Would you like to swap lives with me then ??

Nighbynight, so could I really end up worse of then ?? I really can't afford to be any worse off, and am trying so hard to find a job at the moment, i will be crushed if it is for nothing.

CON - erm... I thought this was a forum where anyone was entitled to post?? I wouldnt choose to swap lives with anyone, thanks, I'm happy with my own thanks. Just think we need some fair systems that don't penalise certain sectors of society.

Well we can all agree on that, then alfiesbabe. Like parents who are left on their own to bring their chidlren up.