To be pee'd off that ppl think single mums are loaded!!!

[LonelySingleMummy]

I am a single mum of a 6 month old boy and struggle!!! A lot of ppl think single parents get loads of benefits etc and have a cushy life ?!? Who? What? Where? !!!
For the 1st 4 weeks of my son's life i breastfed but i couldnt afford to eat more than one meal a day so i had to bottle feed (another expense) by this time my tax credits had come thru cos yes i was a worker. This helped me out but I am by no means well off and struggle every week. I have to sell the house before they repossess. I can't afford any little luxuries like wine or take aways. I go nowhere and meet no-one. Who says I get more than anyone else.
Sorry rant over lol

lol at this thread and the pointless arguments

Some LP's are better off than married couples. Some aren't. All depends on the circs.

Makes me larf how jealous of us some people are.

Anyone living as part of society, Nighbynight, making a contribution, bringing up children, paying their taxes,is entitled to a view. It's called living in a democracy. Would you say that the unemployed shouldnt be entitled to a point of view about, for instance, the minimum wage?? Because they don't have a job?? Sheesh

I think there are far too many assumptions going on from some people about 'entitlement' to post. Lone parents do not have a monopoly on knowledge of the benefits system. Parents of children with SEN do not have a monopoly of knowledge on SEN. Of course everyone's life experience is going to be different. That doesnt give any one person more 'rights' than anyone else.

So, with regards to the OP, who is in need of some help at this time, there's first and foremost getting the CSA to nail down the ex for what maintenance you can get, as this will affect your other benefits. Again, see the CAB because you could be entitled to some Legal Aid if necessary.

Then there's your Income Support and applying for that and having a chat with a housing officer or the CAB about your housing situation.

You've got your Healthy Start sorted and your CTC and Child Benefit, I see.

What have I left out, MNers?

alfiesbabe, you talk about everybody needing to have an equal right to stay home with their children. They do. Some just refuse to deal with the consequences of that.

I'm sure that many couples could, if they rehashed their lives, downsized, sold houses and generally tightened their purse-strings manage to have one parent at home. They choose not to. Their choice.

Don't take this as criticism, as it's not. I'm just pointing out that there are some who although moaning about their lot, don't make any effort to make it better. They just look at a very disjointed picture of a lone parent and get a bit pissy about it

Madmuggle please don't fall into the trap of assuming that in families where adult work they do so because they are money grabbing greedy whatevers who live in big houses/have big mortgages and splurge loads of money all the time, happened before on this thread.

expat she could try entitledto.com?!

you're right madmuggle.

I have a friend in a (very) low income couple who has decided to do this because she really wants to be at home with their two young kids. I've never heard her snipe about single mums having it easy - maybe that's because i'm her friend and I am one but it might also be because she was brought up (very well, imo) by a single mum herself.

also to jump WAY back to a comment I made innocently about my 'luxuries' being a hair cut and some fish and chips or somesuch - this seems to have been turned into the idea that single mums on benefits feel entitled to takeaways from the state!

that wasn't my point at all, I was just trying to make light of the idea that single mums all want posh prams and flat screen tellies!

I feel bloody lucky to be a single parent on benefits rather than a partner in an abusive relationship (my previous state), I am an ace budgeter on my £100 a week and wake up happy every day!

I would, however, love to be able to share some of the responsibility with another adult and that is, I think, the real hardship of the single parent. We're not really all after more money, honest!

peace and love to all, coupled up or singlies!

entitled to has its failings, though, 1st and it won't help her with what she needs help with most: getting the most maintenance she can from the partner so that her other benefits can be most accurately calculated.

if she is behind on the mortgage, she also really needs to see someone about her housing situation.

allnew - i will be working once my maternity stops, i have no choice i could not live on benefits of 60 pw! no-one could
scottishmummy - thanks, i agree! lol
Nighbynight, alfiesbabe and crackerofnuts - i didnt mean to start ww111
x

LittleBella - hi and welcome to the madhouse lol. Jealous of who? singles jealous of couples or vice versa?
I dont begrudge anyone anything and am sure there are ppl worse off than me and some better off. My main point is that ppl assume being lp is easy and preferable to some than being with partner. It's hard, as many on here have tried to point out. It is hard for couples too I know but that wasnt my point, I wasnt scoring points for lp
expat - thanks for concern, thought you were totally against me as lp at first. tried all benefits avenues in case of emergency. i get all i can get - nothing much
If lost house, council would have to rehome me in some grotty flat somewhere but what I dont want to happen is my boy to suffer in any way, I would rather poke out my eyes with a fork x

harpomarx - thank god you got out of it! love and respect x

why are you only getting £60 pw you must be entitled to something else? you should go on entitledto.com as suggested earlier this amount is way to low to realitically bring up a child on.

as for feeling guilty that your child is going to be an only one you dont know that you will never meet any one who will be happy to be a father to your child and have more with you.

i was adamant that i would always be single when i had dd1 but i have a dp and have dd2 with him he has always insisted that dd1 is his child and doesnt even want me chasing up csa as he doesnt want dd1 to have anything to with her bio dad or his family

hope it works out for you lsm - don't let the bastards grind you down!

Hi micci25 - pleased 4 you i really am. you could be right, who knows
CSA won't pursue ex at mo as the bastard is denying paternity and demanding dna! Nice huh?

i'm not against lp's on benefits, but on the idea that the state should pay for mortgages or that ANYONE is entitled to luxuries, ourselves included.

we are a couple. we are working poor and live in private rented accommodation.

i would not swap our lot with a lone parent because it is such hard graft.

BUT, the welfare system is there as a safety net for people.

and there are options out there besides a grotty flat or home in a horrible area.

another is that, IF you are working and you sell your home, another option is to market rent a flat from a housing association in a good area. they will take WTC into consideration for income and CTC, too. and you can apply for HB.

there is lots of advice on here about benefits and people in your situation and even housing officers who post here.

Have 2 interviews tomoro for decent paid pt jobs. Was temp before so that not reliable now got son to care for. Off to bed for beauty sleep ;)
Been to loads of interviews and am on my mum's pc all time looking at jobs pages!!! I just need a job aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrggggggggh
Night all x

lsm only joking about Rover
honest

expat i agree with some of what you say but i wasnt suggesting luxuries are expected at all just that ppl who take these for granted will often whine on to me about being skint... night hun x

i should hope so 1dilemma ! lmao
night hun take care

yeah, i do think lone parents get a bad rap, especially on here!

there is nothing fun about living on benefits or low income.

BUT, being a lone parent is tough going even in the best of circumstances and although it's getting you down just now, there is a Lone Parent section here for lots of advice and support.

lol lsm mine did exactly the same but csa made him have a dna test that they paid for it came back 99.9% positive that he was father and he tried to say it was a mistake and asked for another test!!

chase this up with csa they can FORCE him to have test, if he refuses they take it as admittance of parantage and put an attatchment on his earnings (or rather that is what they say they do but dd1 is now four and still havent got a penny)

I do actually think there is an argument to be made for the state helping with mortgage payments - in the short term. It may actually avoid the family getting more and more into debt and eventually losing their home due to a period of hardship, and thereby becoming reliant on the state in the long term.

alfiesmum, for the nth time, nobody says you can't post. people have just pointed out that you dont seem to know an awful lot about the reality of the situation, to back up your opinion.
the assumptions in your last post are fairly offensive, actually.

I don't think alfiesmum mad offensive assumptions, just gave her opinion like the reast of us

post away a-mum, don't let anyone make you feel you can't