To think money given to your child should be saved for them?

[pontipinemum]

For context my children and 2 yrs and a baby. When they are older I will let them make their own choices, but will guide them.

When I receive money for them I put it into their credit union account. Some parents apparently do not do this. Money I received as a child often didn't make it to my account, and I have heard others saying the same. Then I've hear mums in groups saying they will put it towards something for the child or towards the zoo tickets etc.

AIBU to think they only thing you should do with it is save it for the child?

This is outside of extreme circumstances such as without the money the child wouldn't have a winter coat etc

Apparently my God children think I'm awesome, because as soon as I discovered their Mum was forcing them to save all birthday money, I started sending Amazon vouchers. Then they get to choose a present!

Would it be better they didn't go then?

That’s really bloody awful.

I'd be pretty pissed off, if every time I gave my neice and nephew £30 for their birthday, their mum snatched it away and put it in a savings account. I give them that money to buy something nice - like a new top they want, new PlayStation games etc...

If you want to save for your kids, great - as you should if you can afford it, but don't take away all their money gifts to save for adulthood.

I think it just depends on the situation. If someone gave me money for my child and specifically said they wanted it to be saved for their future then it would be put in their bank account, but if they’ve just given money as are unsure what to get etc then I let my child use the money to pick a toy or whatever, or yes I might choose something for them that I know my child would like and appreciate. Nobody is giving my child huge amounts of money sadly, I’d probably think harder about it if it wasn’t a tenner here and there! Mostly actually people in my social circle tend to avoid giving money as a present and give an actual gift instead anyway. But I wouldn’t just add it to the family coffers unless in desperate need of the basics such as food etc.

Definitely save it for them, unless you are really strapped for cash. They will thank you as adults.

But they wouldn’t be able to afford to go otherwise?

This. Live in the moment, enjoy a treat for gods sake.

If money is given to the child then it’s theirs and should be put into a savings account for safe keeping until they are old enough to make their own financial decisions. Parents who use their child’s gift to pay for stuff they should be paying for as parents are essentially stealing from their kid. It’s grim. Parents who just spend it on treats for themselves are even worse.

Even when auntie gives your 3 year old ,£10 and tells you specifically to get him a Paw Patrol toy with it?
Or your siblings have clubbed together and given you £80 for the annual pass to the farm park they love??
Or if Granny gives them £1 each and says "buy yourself some sweets"

If the parents bought those... they're stealing??

Fucking bullshit is what you're taking.

Nonsense. People give cash so the kids can have a present if their choice. You know Rafferty LOVES paw patrol, but you don't know what toys he already has, so you give £20 and say to mum "this is for a present". And parents buy him the Paw Patrol toy he's been after...

Why are people so fucking dense and jumping to "YoU'rE sTeALiNG from CHILDREEEEEEENNN""

Until mine were teens I stuck all birthday money and cheques in their savings accounts. They had several accounts so I handed over the account details at various stages when things were needed - uni flat deposits, laptops etc

Obviously if they specify what it should be used for then yeah fine. That’s just common fucking sense. Stop with the straw-manning you over dramatic moose!

Because twats DO steal from their children you thicko!

Well, people are freely accusing parents of stealing kids money, when they spend the money on the kids... Insane.

If the fiver said "here's £30 for their premium bonds/savings" fair enough. But ifit is given ina birthday card the parents are absolutely entitled to spend that much money in the kids however they want.

Implying people are stealing from children is madness.

They do... But someone spending the £20 in a birthday card on some Lego for their children is not stealing.
Them buying a zoo ticket is not stealing.

Yeah, taking it and spending it on Stella and fags... stealing. But nobody is suggesting this is acceptable. Yet people are ridiculously saying that parents are stealing when they very very clearly aren't.

Oh so when you said "If money is given to the child then it’s theirs and should be put into a savings account" .... you actually meant "If money is given to the child with the express instruction it be saved, then it should be put into a savings account"

We always used the children's money on them. When they were babies I remember putting some money gifts together and buying a smart trike. Larger gifts were always saved. I give money as a gift for the Recipient to buy something for themselves, not to save (however they can do that if they really wanted to!)

As a young adult I found out that I was a baby and child model (just catalogues and shops). When I asked my parents what happened to the money from my modelling I was told that they needed it so it had been spent at the time. Frankly as I know that my parents weren't struggling at the time (through family, not speculation) I was a bit gutted that it hadn't been put into a savings account to be handy for me in adult years or spent on something for me such as an activity, toys or holiday.

So I tend to agree with you that bar exceptional circumstances money for a child is for that child. My children each have savings accounts for that reason.

Further down the line a child would feel pretty lousy if great auntie Sue remarks on how she hopes her birthday fivers over the years will help them get something special and they realise that they never received even one.

Stealing from their kids? To spend it on a day out that otherwise wouldn’t happen without the gifted money? That would make the child happy? You are horrible

Don't be ridiculous. As I said earlier my grandmother left me and my siblings money when she died, and my parents used it to pay for a holiday to Florida they couldn't have afforded otherwise. It wasn't "grim" and it would have never have occurred to me in a million years they were stealing "my" money. In fact I'm glad they used the money for that as I had I recieved it when I was 18, I'd have blown the lot of vodka, cigarettes and shoes.

I have no idea what my parents did with any money that I received when I was younger and I don't particularly care. If I did receive any as gifts then I trust my parents used it for something I probably needed at the time or for a day out.

ODFO. YOU are horrible.

Yeah..., she's not horrible by telling you the truth.

You just made a mad statement and can't back it up, so now you're lashing out instead of saying "yeah, fair cop"

We do a mix, guided by what the relatives have said. My Dad gives them a cheque every Christmas and birthday which is to go in savings so we always do that.

Sometimes Grandma will give some cash and say it’s for a day out etc.

if it’s just cash in a card with no suggestions then I let the kids choose what to spend it on, with some guidance…. they like going to a toy or book shop to choose something.

I put any money received for my child into her bank account and include a description of what it is - ie. Xmas money Grandma; lost tooth money; birthday money from godfather etc.

It’s her money, not mine. It will be nice for her to have done spending money and practice managing cash when she is a teen.