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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think money given to your child should be saved for them?

209 replies

pontipinemum · 30/04/2025 09:43

For context my children and 2 yrs and a baby. When they are older I will let them make their own choices, but will guide them.

When I receive money for them I put it into their credit union account. Some parents apparently do not do this. Money I received as a child often didn't make it to my account, and I have heard others saying the same. Then I've hear mums in groups saying they will put it towards something for the child or towards the zoo tickets etc.

AIBU to think they only thing you should do with it is save it for the child?

This is outside of extreme circumstances such as without the money the child wouldn't have a winter coat etc

OP posts:
Hayley1256 · 30/04/2025 14:40

When DD was a baby I saved it for her but since she was about 6 she's been able to spend it on what she wants. If family members want to add money to her savings that normally gets done on top of any birthday/xmas money. I always add money to her savings and she's also had a pension since she was a baby.

I don't people that don't do this though- each to their own

minnienono · 30/04/2025 14:45

Depends on financial situation but it’s equally ok to save it or buy something the child is after

Hayley1256 · 30/04/2025 14:47

Hayley1256 · 30/04/2025 14:40

When DD was a baby I saved it for her but since she was about 6 she's been able to spend it on what she wants. If family members want to add money to her savings that normally gets done on top of any birthday/xmas money. I always add money to her savings and she's also had a pension since she was a baby.

I don't people that don't do this though- each to their own

Meant to I don't judge people that don't do that!

HMW19061 · 30/04/2025 15:04

Everyone does things differently OP, there isn’t a right or wrong way.

We have 2 young DC and we put any money they get for birthdays/Christmas, etc into their savings accounts BUT we are in a position where we are able to afford tickets to the zoo and other treats and luxuries for them. Other people might not be in that position and it might be the only way they can have a day out or a luxury, if we weren’t in the position we were in then I would 100% use the money for treats, etc if I needed to.

PurpleThistle7 · 30/04/2025 15:19

I don't see why there's any reason to be judgmental about it. I spend money on my kids almost every day. If their grandparents give me money 'for' the children, they intend for me to use it to benefit their grandchildren which could mean lots of different things. We will continue to support our children until they are adults anyway so it's all the same thing in the end.

Oblomov25 · 30/04/2025 16:31

If you can afford it, yes, I always put all their money straight into their savings account.

mondaytosunday · 30/04/2025 16:44

Yes I put any money in savings accounts for my kids. I may have dipped in on occasion but always paid it back. They then got the money at 18. My DD had a couple thousand cushion heading off to uni. My son burnt through his pretty quick though!

Zanatdy · 30/04/2025 16:49

Any money given to my child goes direct to their savings. I guess if I couldn’t afford a day out, and my child would benefit then I’d consider buying tickets for something. But I never have. They are 17 and 20 now and the money is helpful for uni and later house deposit etc

TweetingHurricane · 30/04/2025 16:52

I can’t afford to save it. It either goes on a day out or towards bills that are in the childs best interest for me to pay.

BIossomtoes · 30/04/2025 16:54

If mine was given money it was always with the express instruction to “Buy something nice” so we did. It never occurred to me to put it in a savings account. It feels very mean to me.

Moveoverdarlin · 30/04/2025 16:55

I try and save as much as possible. If they have a fiver to spend on themselves it goes on slime or plastic tat.

Amiwrongamiright · 30/04/2025 17:00

Any money gifted to my son we put towards something like if someone gifts us money for his Christmas prezzie I’ll use it for a toy he wants.

We already save every month for his future and he has a nice little pot already, I don’t feel guilty about this

Amiwrongamiright · 30/04/2025 17:01

BIossomtoes · 30/04/2025 16:54

If mine was given money it was always with the express instruction to “Buy something nice” so we did. It never occurred to me to put it in a savings account. It feels very mean to me.

This, if someone gifts us £10 for a Christmas prezzie, we will buy him a toy he wants

If someone gives us £2 for an Easter egg, I’ll go and buy an Easter egg

We already save enough for him, I wouldn’t Chuck amounts here and there into his savings when we’ve been asked by the gifter to treat him

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 30/04/2025 17:26

I’ve always let them have any birthday money as spending money. If someone gives them money intended for their savings then of course I put it in there. Which has happened (edit - by which I mean, for my son’s baptism my parents kindly gave him the equivalent of the money my older dd had had from the Labour govt for a child trust fund equivalent- he didn’t get it because the Tories had abolished it. They never came to me and said “you’re frivolous wasters, put this in savings!”)

I do save for them monthly so they are provided for in that respect!

Relatives have also given them kids vouchers for days out directly so that’s an easy choice!

AliBaliBee1234 · 30/04/2025 18:44

This is entirely up to the parents. Gifted money could be the only way they can have a treat and day out.

What a strange thing to be judgemental about ....

SendBooksAndTea · 30/04/2025 18:46

I usually let her choose something with it at a later date. I do my own savings for her so she'll have enough for when she's older anyway.

CaramelGhost · 30/04/2025 18:47

As long as it is beneficial to the child....

I always put their money aside. We went through a really rough spell when they were very small and I needed to use it to buy their shoes. That is what they NEEDED.

Thankfully I can save it all now and I don't "need" to dip into it and I would pay for any activities with family money but I don't judge others or the positions they are in.

Anonym00se · 30/04/2025 18:49

I give ex-SIL money for my nephew at Christmas/birthdays and tell her to spend it how she wants to - she could save it, buy him a toy, spend it on clothes, use it for holiday spends or whatever he needs. She’s a single mum and money is tight, but I don’t give it with the expectation that it’s saved for the future.

NarnianQueen · 30/04/2025 18:52

But if you use it to pay for a day at the zoo, it’s your kids money paying for it. So it’s not anti Sue paying for the nice day out, it’s your child!

QuickPeachPoet · 30/04/2025 18:55

The way I see it if it’s given to the child it belongs to them. If they are old enough to decide what it’s spent on, let them do so. Otherwise it should be saved.
This is why I don’t give cash presents. Far too many parent getting their mitts on it.

TheNightingalesStarling · 30/04/2025 18:59

My children used to ask for days out as presents!

Why is the child chosing a toy OK, but not a day at the zoo or a trip to Go Ape etc?

Moomookangaroo · 30/04/2025 19:00

Honestly, I don't think we put all the money they received as babies in their account. We give them a certain amount each month which they don't even know about. If we let them keep everything they've ever received, my older child would end up with probably about 2k more than the younger one 🙃 So didn't seem fair that younger should end up with less just because people (understandably) aren't as excited and generous second time around.

Now that they're a bit older we do let them keep the money they get but it's spending money. If they get money for their birthday, we go to a toy shop so they can spend it. Their savings are a completely separate thing.

But no, not all the money they were given as babies and toddlers went into their bank accounts.

Oganesson118 · 30/04/2025 19:10

I guess it depends. If someone gave me money with a specific request
e.g. “put this in her ISA” or “buy her something nice”, I would obviously follow that.
We’ve been saving a fair bit for our DD since she was born ourselves so it’s not like presents are the only money that can be put aside.

Now she is 8, we allow people to put money on her GoHenry card. Money as a present feels like in lieu of a actual wrapped gift so she may as well use it to get herself what she would like. She’s pretty good at managing her GoHenry though and generally saves up for something she really wants so that gives me comfort it won’t get frittered on Prime and sweets.

QuiteUnbelievable · 30/04/2025 19:32

Each situation will be totally different but I would've save onto credit unions.
Have several pots including a cash isa and stocks and shares junior ISA.

TropicofCapricorn · 30/04/2025 19:39

Zanatdy · 30/04/2025 16:49

Any money given to my child goes direct to their savings. I guess if I couldn’t afford a day out, and my child would benefit then I’d consider buying tickets for something. But I never have. They are 17 and 20 now and the money is helpful for uni and later house deposit etc

Even if granny gives them £1 and says "buy yourself some sweets in the way home"? Or "here's some birthday money towards the lego set you wanted"?