Would it bother you if your partner got up later than you?

[bendmeoverbackwards]

Partner 1 has a full time professional job and gets up at 6.30am every weekday.

Partner 2 was a SAHM to 3 dc and now works part time (2 days/week).

P2 loves sleep and sometimes doesn’t get up till 10am on non working days. P2 does all the cooking, laundry and house admin.

If you were P1, would P2’s late getting up bother you?

How does this affect partner 1 at all since they are presumably at work and unaware of partner 2s waking time?

I'm partner 2 in this scenario, adults pick their own alarm times if they've no other reason to be up.

It would bother me if partner 2 was the only one who had a lie in.

Who is dealing with the kids when partner 2 is lounging? Do they want to or do they want to go to the gym/share the load?

So long as Partner 2 gets up in good time to dress kids, feed kids and take them to school, I can't see the problem.

I am similar to partner 2...sometimes I get up even later than 10am 😱😱. My partner gets up at half 7 every morning. He says it doesn't bother him, but he does have little digs every now and again so it probably does bother him. If it was the other way round, it would bug me 😁

Who’s getting the kids ready for school / nursery

How old are the kids? Is no one seeing them in the morning?
Are we taking just weekends or every day?

Ok so who is dealing with the kids in the morning when P2 lies in bed till 10am?

I’m assuming children are old enough not to need anything in the morning. Even so, if I was getting up at 6.30 every morning and was knackered from my full time job, I would probably still be a bit grumpy at my partner’s lie in (and the fact they only work 2 days per week). I probably would feel like they had a pretty cushy life.

How old are the kids? And why is partner 2 only working 2 days per week?

It would probably bother me a lot, as it sounds like partner 1 is having to work a lot more hours to contribute to the family

Does P2’s lie in mean P1 has to do chores in the morning or that stuff doesn’t get done?

This sounds more like irritation that P1 is working and P2 isn’t, than about the lie in specifically.

Exactly. I have a neighbour who doesn't go about her day with her 3yo until after 9am.

It would bother me if they got up later all the time and I never got a lie in.

DH and I are both awful morning people and both massively struggle to get up every day. I’m always always up first during the week, but we both get weekend lie ins.

Depends if them staying in bed was making my morning unfairly difficult or not tbh.

I wouldn’t care what time they got up if they were doing their share of the housework/childcare/admin etc, and in this case P2 is not. So yes, it would absolutely piss me off.

ETA ignore this, I misread! If P2 is doing all the housework etc then it wouldn’t be a problem for me.

I get up at 6 and DP gets up at 8-50. Both start work at 9. I go to bet about 10, he goes at midnight. No bother re either

Who is dealing with the kids in the morning, if that needs to be done?

If kids are old enough not to need any assistance or driving to school etc, it would bother me if my partner only worked 2 days per week for no reason, that's not really a lot. What does partner 2 do with the rest of the time? Household admin really isn't a full time job.

Which days does partner 1 get a lie-in?

I almost always sleep later than DH. He doesn’t like lying in, he’s one of those annoying morning people who thinks a lie in is wasting the day, so he almost always gets up with the kids and lets me sleep another hour or so. Much appreciated! I’m the part-timer too although I have toddler at home on non-work days. Maybe I am spoiled

Yes, I’ve been the early riser and it is hard to drag yourself out of bed at stupid o’clock in the dark and cold day after day after day whilst the other person snuggles down under the duvet.

That’s not to say I think the lucky snuggler should get up early if they don’t have to, but, yeah, I resented it.

Mine usually does - doesn't trouble me at all.

Depends really. Is P1 having to work long hours in a stressful job to make up for P2 working part time? Has P1 asked P2 to work more hours and they refuse?

I'm not sure I see doing laundry, cooking and the mysterious 'house admin' as akin to working full time to be honest.

I can see why P1 might feel generally resentful and therefore get pissed off by the lie ins.

No doesn't bother me, I'm partner 1 in this scenario - but if there's a chance of a lie in at the weekend then it's mine and if I don't get it then that I can get annoyed with that

Kids are grown up now, still living at home though.

I couldn’t care less what time a partner gets up as long as they do their fair share and turn up to stuff they’ve said they will.