Would it bother you if your partner got up later than you?

[bendmeoverbackwards]

Partner 1 has a full time professional job and gets up at 6.30am every weekday.

Partner 2 was a SAHM to 3 dc and now works part time (2 days/week).

P2 loves sleep and sometimes doesn’t get up till 10am on non working days. P2 does all the cooking, laundry and house admin.

If you were P1, would P2’s late getting up bother you?

I would view lying in that late as a bit lazy whether I was P1 or P2

Are P1 & P2 joined at the hip?
What would P2 getting up at the same time as P1 achieve?

If P1 wants a turn in having the bed to themselves, maybe they could go to bed first.

What's the relevancy that you were previously a SAHM presumably this was quite a while ago? I would suspect partner 1 is actually more annoyed they are working full time while you are part time

I wish I could get up early but my 3.5 year old still doesn’t sleep through the night; I am shattered. I love the thought of getting up before they wake up and having an hour to myself.

I am a sahm, partner works. He doesn’t lay in at all on the weekends but he does let me. I don’t think I am lazy at all if I wake up at 9-10am once a week. I need that sleep!

Yeah I think it would annoy me as I’d be tired and jealous!

The fact that you get up at 10am wouldn't bother me at all but I would be annoyed that you only work 2 days a week if I was working full time. I would feel very resentful supporting a (presumably) able adult. Do you think perhaps that is where the comments from your partner might really be coming from rather than the fact you sleep in later?

I am P2, except in my case P1 is a cat who wakes me up at 4 in the morning to be fed. Then we both retire to bed again.

These threads get as tedious as the non- driver ones. There is no moral superiority in getting up early, mornings are no better than evenings
But you do what you have to do. I've done my time of getting up early to get to work and get my son to school. I'm now a foster carer but currently have no child with me so I have reverted to my natural state which is night owl.
Today I got up at 10.30. I did get up earlier to feed the cat and put a wash on.
I then cleaned the downstairs windows, mowed the lawn, cleaned the oven, hoovered the stairs. Stopped to have my daily chat with a housebound neighbour and sort the wheelie bins out. Walked to my allotment, did an hour there, went to the gym for an hour, back to the allotment for 2 hours. Got home at 8.45 pm.
That's a fairly typical day, not lazy or unhealthy

What time do P1&P2 go to bed?

I always get up later than DH on my days off . He really doesn’t care. All children adults,just us and dog . Husband gets up about 9 ish and I get up and shower about 10am . I sleep really badly and my best sleep is about 5am onwards.
When working I am up at 5am and do not get home until 830pm!

This.

I love it when my DH is at home. Love it. I love getting up early for work and having a quiet house for a cup of tea quietly. Love leaving the house knowing I will come home to it running like clock work and I have not had to spend a single brain cell worrying about it and thinking about logistics. I can concentrate on my job, which I love, and which pays well. I consider myself highly fortunate and don’t give a toss what time DH gets up.

Oooo judgy McJudgeface.

Agreed.

Wouldn't bother me at all as my best mornings are ones where I have absolute quiet. I'm not great in the mornings, so would be happy to have you out of the way.

This isn't really about who gets up when. This is about one person feeling like they are subsidising another.

I get up circa 5 am. DH gets up around 8 am. I however go to bed about 9 pm (today I am late because we have been out). DH goes to bed around midnight.

I do all the morning stuff- kids to school etc. DH does all the evening stuff.. As I type he is feeding the animals and loading the dishwasher.

In your scenario I don’t see any impact on P1 so don’t see why they should be irritated

So if P1 went to bed at 9pm and P2 did housework in the evening etc and went to bed at midnight does that make P1 a lazy fucker too?

I think your partner wants you to work more days.

Of course it’s relevant. We don’t just exist in this moment.

So now you’re just unemployed and not doing much of anything. Yeah I would be annoyed by that.

Can’t see anything wrong with it, are you maybe a bit sensitive about it? I can imagine my DH joking about it which would make me feel guilty. If he’s not bothered then no biggie.

No. Because P1 has a full time job.

No, she works part time and does all the household stuff the rest of the time.

There's this focus on the financial contribution, but if OP took a couple more days of paid work, DH would (or should) therefore take on some more of the housework that OP currently does on her days off work.

If OP was literally just sleeping in and doing nowt, that would be different. But it sounds as if she's doing ALL cooking, laundry and life admin, while ALSO working part time. Honestly I'd say she's entitled to sleep a bit later.