Would it bother you if your partner got up later than you?

[bendmeoverbackwards]

Partner 1 has a full time professional job and gets up at 6.30am every weekday.

Partner 2 was a SAHM to 3 dc and now works part time (2 days/week).

P2 loves sleep and sometimes doesn’t get up till 10am on non working days. P2 does all the cooking, laundry and house admin.

If you were P1, would P2’s late getting up bother you?

Which given the 'kids' have now graduated from uni, that level of input was probably about 15 years ago!! 😆

I think people do have different natural body clocks, if I have some time off and can get up when I naturally wake I very quickly get in to a routine of sleeping from 2am-10am. Whereas my husband would naturally sleep from 11pm-7am. People seem to think it makes you lazy or slobbish but it's the same amount of sleep just slightly later. Annoys me no end when people think they're better than you just because they get up earlier.

I think it's lazy. But then, I'm up before 6 every day for work, so 8 am is a lie in for me. And from about March onwards, I love the morning light.

Did you do all the night waking and early mornings with 3 dc and all the housework, cooking, shopping etc, whilst your DH only had to get himself to work and come home to a home cooked meal every night and a clean house? If so then you are not being unreasonable. It is a well earned rest.

As long as you're pulling your weight generally and balancing the fact that he works FT and you only work 2 days pw, then it's fine.

Also, assuming you are over 40, hormones are likely to be playing a part and you need more sleep.

How long ago?.... when was last dc younger than 10?
@bendmeoverbackwards if you feel justified in only working 2 days a week, stayingʻ in bed till. 10am the other 5 days and
Staying in your pj's most of the day on the couch... you don't need to explain yourself...

to me it's not lazy..no kids in the house but both work. I sleep in on weekends I can and need to. however my husband is awake at crack of dawn no matter what. it doesn't bother him at all. he gets up and does what he needs to do. when I do get up though I get dressed as soon as I don't hang around in my pyjamas

So go back to work? Your past isn't relevant

Partner 1 is a SAHM - gets up 6.45am, gets teens up, fed, packed, out, takes to school (sometimes), gets back, makes coffee, then wakes partner 2

Partner 2 gets woken with a coffee about 8.30am deals with work messages in bed, starts work 9am, leaves to office 9.30am gets back 7pm ish

Doesn’t bother partner 1, even the coffee making

I don't get why you only work 2 days while he works ft

Because she was once a sahm....therefore apparently deserves to now rest forevermore!

I was a SAHM for years, partner worked away in the week. I was up at 6.30 for years and years, did all the night waking, dealing with sick kids, all housework, cooking, cleaning, shopping, life admin, helped in the kids schools a lot, worked part time when youngest started school. Now they are all grown up, I often lie in till 9.30ish. I reckon I've earned it after many many years of early waking!

I think it would bother me, yes. It's sort of lonely isn't it? I'm guessing when you were a SAHM you'd all be up and having breakfast in the morning. I think I'd find it a bit depressing if I was still doing that every day by myself but my partner wasn't bothered to get up and start the day with me. I don't think it's 'wrong' I think it would just feel a bit crap.

Lazy?! Slobbish?! What is it with people’s obsession to be up so early? Not just that but even extending it towards others who have no need to be up so early! Yes, most people have to for work or school run etc but not everyone does. The people who have called OP lazy, have you considered she may sleep the same hours as you but at different times?

Similar to another pp my ideal would be 1.30am-9.30am but it’s not possible with working full time and young children. Absolutely no bother what others do.

Oh well bugger that then. Get up what time you want or need to

I can never understand this way of thinking. Just get up when you want

question is, does he think you should be doing something more useful with this time? You say he does not care you work part time, does he think you're not pulling your weight at home?
for example in our case, mowing is DHs job and if the grass is as high as elephant's eye while he spends his saturday napping on the sofa, i would get a bit irritated as well.

It wouldn't bother me one bit. We all have different needs when it comes to sleep.

It would piss me off if an adult chose to be largely financially supported by me and then lay in bed til 10 am every day she wasn’t working. I’d feel that she was taking the piss and I’d wonder why she worked part time now the children were grown up. I wouldn’t care about it if she had independent wealth that she brought to the marriage. But imagine if a woman was working full time and her DH worked two days a week and lay in bed snoozing til 10. People would call him a cocklodger and lazy.

Truthfully, this would irritate me. With adult children, I'd expect my dp to also have a full time job, not two days a week.

Christ! You wouldn't want to live in this house... some people don't get up till 2pm.

I think it would bother me a bit, we both work full time but if I'd managed to stay home for years with the kids then work part time I'd be trying to even it up a bit now. Either both work 4 days or if your partner is happy to stick at full time I'd up my hours and throw as much money as possible into a pension and you could both retire a bit earlier.

You think you don't have to get up with kids at 10 years old?

Of course they would! But it's mn 😆

How on earth would p1 know what time you got up or that you're still in your Pj's?

I believe partners should have equal leisure time unless their job is a labour of love or possibly if they're just a martyr and could work fewer hours but choose not to.

My DH lies in til 10 at weekends and often on holiday. He does equal housework work and time with our relatively self sufficient teen. No issues.