Would it bother you if your partner got up later than you?

[bendmeoverbackwards]

Partner 1 has a full time professional job and gets up at 6.30am every weekday.

Partner 2 was a SAHM to 3 dc and now works part time (2 days/week).

P2 loves sleep and sometimes doesn’t get up till 10am on non working days. P2 does all the cooking, laundry and house admin.

If you were P1, would P2’s late getting up bother you?

It would strike me as quite lazy, not getting up till 10 on a regular basis.

I’m partner 1 in the above scenario, dh who is retired stays in bed when I get up at 6:10 for a long day at work!

Doesn’t bother me, he’s retired, I’m not🤷‍♀️

I‘m afraid I’d think this too, only working two days a week and laying in bed til late isn’t a lifestyle I’d aspire to.

It seems a bit of a waste of life to me. But I like early mornings, time for myself (6-7am) then time sipping coffee and hanging out with my DH and children (7-8am) and / or walking the dogs. I’m more sociable and chatty in the morning. Are you a night owl OP? When do you catch up with family members- evenings?

Maybe she goes to bed later than you, so is awake and productive for exactly the same number of hours 🤷🏻‍♀️

🤣 I’m not upset by it, what makes you think I am?

I’m joining in with a train of thought.

People do what their bodies tell them it wants to do.

What happens if P1’s body tells them they want to stay in bed later?

That’s fine, they can split the household jobs between them

When they’re both at home staying in bed till 10 because that’s what their body tells them they want to do, who is paying the bills?

It’s not leftfield or emotional, it’s literally just following the existing sequence of posts.

How mean spirited of him.

Some basic comprehension problems from people here!

No I wouldn’t mind at all. You’ve both done a life’s work, and if there no competition about who works more then it doesn’t matter.

If he doesn’t actually raise it, just ignore it.

As long as everything is getting done and everyone is meeting their agreed obligations within the home, it wouldn’t bother me. I think there’s a lot of performative early rising goes on in society today. I’m a night owl and an insomniac and I’m often super productive from, say, 10pm-2am. I might then sleep from 3/4am until 10am. But somehow this is less worthy than someone who is productive 5-9am and sleeps from 9pm onwards.

If I was P1 yes this would annoy me. If I was working FT in a professional role and getting up at the arse crack of dawn every day while my partner worked 2 days a week and slept in til 10 some days I’d resent it. I’d just resent how unevenly split things were between us. Assuming the house isn’t a mess etc, it would still just irk me!!
Does your partner enjoy his job, is it especially stressful etc; could this be adding to some resentment perhaps?

This.
I’d feel like my partner was taking the piss.

I work full time, DH is retired. Up to him what time he gets up.

We get up at different times sometimes i can't think that deeply about it

DH and I both work FT (both worked PT when DC were small) but I'm an early riser and he isn't. I do get annoyed at having to wake him (and the teenagers) up every weekday morning before I leave the house because he sleeps through the incredibly noisy alarm I set for him. Conversely he gets grumpy that I am tired and ready for bed at 10pm when he's wide awake. At the weekend he wakes about 10am unless I wake him.

I have to say I wouldn't be happy being married to someone who never went back to FT work after being a SAHP. I think men view it slightly differently though.

Hi DH. Didn't realise you were in here.

Yes, it pisses me off when I have to creep around every single morning. Much as I'm sure you don't like coming to bed in the dark every night.
But, I knew this when I married you. And all the night time puke cleaning while I snored when the kids were small has still got several years of credit.
However, please don't use me as an alarm clock. If you need to be up at a certain time, set an alarm. Dont ask me to clock watch and wake you. That sucks.

My partner is bothered but until my painkillers kick in I'm not moving. We're retired now, he's early to rise and early to bed about 9.30 tonight. I stay up later.

I would love to stay in bed until 10am,
Maybe he just wishes he could sleep in aswell sometimes, getting up at 6.30 is early, do ye go to bed at the same time aswell

If I were p1 I’d think p2 was a lazy fucker and freeloader who lives the life of Riley

Laundry is a quick job

And house admin isn't onerous

Cooking is a chore

Working 2 days a week / lie in until 10am sounds lazy to me

DH's alarm goes at 5.50am and mine goes at 7.30am. It's not an issue probably because he used to work rolling shift patterns so we've always had different times. Also I work at least four days a week so it's not really a lie in.

I can only think the irritation is based on the fact he now feels you have been a bit of a freeloader, ie never went back to proper earning after the kids went to school.

However if he’s got something practical to say, like go back to work FT, then he should say it and you can have a discussion. If it’s that he feels the horse has bolted ie that it is too late for you to earn a significant wage, then he should have thought of that before, no point getting cross about it now.

You can choose to ignore it or act industrious till he leaves for work, and then go back to bed.

Dunno. I think I might resent P2. I'd think that I was getting up early to go to work all week while she had lovely lie-ins. I'd want her to take on an extra day or two, I think. Not necessarily work full time but make a bigger contribution financially.

So long as everyone is doing whatever it is they are responsible for it doesn't matter when you rise.
Oddly now that I'm retired I get dressed every day, not always to going out standard but at least changed. When I worked, on my days off I used to stay in pyjamas unless I was leaving the house.
I actually like it if I get up first and have a bit of time to myself, not that there's anything wrong with dh, he's no bother but I've always been like it even when the kids were little.

Everyone need different amounts of sleep