Would it bother you if your partner got up later than you?

[bendmeoverbackwards]

Partner 1 has a full time professional job and gets up at 6.30am every weekday.

Partner 2 was a SAHM to 3 dc and now works part time (2 days/week).

P2 loves sleep and sometimes doesn’t get up till 10am on non working days. P2 does all the cooking, laundry and house admin.

If you were P1, would P2’s late getting up bother you?

Didn't bother me when there were no tasks to be done except for ourselves (as long as he didn't make himself late for work, or try to make me late for work by wanting me to do stuff for him because he'd got up late and was now in a panic)

Right now, I'd happily have a 3 day a week assistant to do all the cooking/cleaning/admin, if I could afford it.

Thank iyou, I am P2. Dh has never pushed me to work more days although I’ll probably be taking on one more day soon.

I think he’s just a bit irritated by it. Makes the occasional dig that I’m still in my PJs but maybe I’m being over sensitive and making more of it than there needs to be.

Presumably any day he chooses to, given he is also an adult and can make his own choices.

My husband is an early riser, even at the weekends. I get up at about 9 at the weekends (sometimes later) and 8 during the week if I am working from home (earlier if I’m going to the office) He gets our teenage daughter off to school. I haven’t asked if that bothers him because I don’t care. I spent years being the one who got her ready as a baby until she was about 10 and got her to school whilst he chose to go off to work at 6am (and yes, it was a choice). Years ago he used to make a dig at the time I got up at the weekend and would gloat about all the things he had done already, until I pointed out he went to bed at 10pm, and here’s all the stuff I had done after that time - and when he was having his 2 hour afternoon nap. We’re just on different time clocks.

OP has no other responsibilities, she can get up whenever suits her.

Lucky partner 2! Life bit of a breeze then. Is p1 in agreement with their very part time work life?

Think I'd be irritated if I'd always been the one to work full time and my partner has had prob decades of being at home while I worked!

...raising the DC, doing the housework, covering DC sick days, making the food........

I suppose so. But it’s never been an issue, we are a team, he enjoys his job and wouldn’t have enjoyed being at home with the dc. I don’t think there’s a huge amount of resentment on his part, just some mild irriitatuom which I’ve taken to heart.

10 am to me is very lazy

We don’t have children (yet- I am pregnant though) and atm I get up for work at 7am and my partner doesn’t get up until 8.20. I know it’s not a huge difference, sometimes I do feel jealous of his extra hour and 20mins, but also not really bothered and wouldn’t insist he got up earlier just to make me feel better, so it’s no biggie!

what do adult dc do?
are they asleep too?

This absolutely would annoy me, and I can't put my finger on why. But then me and DH wouldn't ever in a millions years lie in until 10am even if we could. I'd consider 7:30-8am a lie in

There's no virtue in being an early riser. I would ideally love my life between the hours of 10am and 1am.

I think it’s lazy. It would annoy me.

2 have graduated and both working. Dd1 works shift patterns, dd2 office hours

I'd be irritated , your children are adults so presumably it's been a very long time since there was a family need for you to work part time or not at all. You get to lounge around while he gets up and goes out to support you.

10am is quite late and a bit lazy, slob-like, especially the hanging about in pjs. I love sleeping too but sleeping in that late everyday is a bit much. Doesn't seem healthy either. How much house work could you possibly have, if your kids are working adults? Surely they help out a little?

Everyone has different sleep needs. Or maybe the OP sleeps the same number of hours as you, but just gets up later? People seem to think that it’s morally superior to be an early riser for some reason, but it’s nonsensical.
And I say that as someone who hasn’t slept past 7am since I was a teenager.

I think calling yourself a Sahm if kids are grown up is a bit misleading.

I wouldn’t be thrilled with it in a partner.

But as a teen/uni student/young adult it definitely would have annoyed the crap out of me if my mum was lolling in bed until 10am while I was dragging myself out to school and work. 😂

No would not bother me. I don’t work. My huxband gets up at 6.30 every day. I usually get up with him but every now and then I stay in bed until 8/9am.

I sleep in on a weekend . Dh never comments he just gets up sorts the kids. In the week he doesn't get to do the breakfast and morning routine with them so he likes to at the weekend

So you're not a sahm. You're asleep while your partner works. That's very different from starting your day at 4.30am with a toddler.

I said I WAS a SAHM

10am is a bit slobbish in my honest opinion.

Read the OP. WAS - past tense