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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she’s just lucky her kids aren’t fussy and not to do with parenting

211 replies

Giillie · 28/04/2025 13:21

One of my close friends has 4 kids 8,6,5 and 3. Her husband is Middle Eastern she is French. Every time we meet up I notice her kids are so unfussy with food, she tells me what they have had for tea and it’s stuff my kids would never touch, no issues with fruit, no issues with veg some of her kids have one specific thing they don’t like (like one of her kids hates bananas but will eat any other fruit).
Friend has got into a habit of saying it’s the way “British” parents raise their kids.

AIBU to think it’s nothing to do with British vs French/Middle eastern parenting and just luck that all her kids are great eaters?

OP posts:
BarnacleBeasley · 29/04/2025 15:05

@givemushypeasachance haha my child doesn't like jam! Not that he's ever tried it. I take that one as a win (see also: juice, squash, haribos).

DancefloorAcrobatics · 29/04/2025 15:14

But Why on ‘nugget nights’ not more fresh veg and meat from one of the four meals he would eat ?This is where I think the cultural element comes in

I agree. We do have crap food on the odd occasion. DC more so as at age 14 I let him choose 1-2 times a week what he's having for dinner and he can cook it himself. Often it's a freezer pizza or a homemade burger chips and a salad!
We often have a side salad with our main meals and somehow when we plan dinner and I ask what to get him it's always something rather and salad stuff. It's how he's been brought up... and how I was brought up ... 😀.

givemushypeasachance · 29/04/2025 15:20

BarnacleBeasley · 29/04/2025 15:05

@givemushypeasachance haha my child doesn't like jam! Not that he's ever tried it. I take that one as a win (see also: juice, squash, haribos).

His 5yo brother sometimes insists on a jam sandwich for lunch, so I hear you.

Goldengirl123 · 29/04/2025 15:27

Definitely a parenting issue

ChChChChChangingName · 29/04/2025 15:41

C8H10N4O2 · 29/04/2025 11:51

Oh sorry I wasn’t suggesting the stands were in Britain - just that migrants bringing new cuisines into a country adapt it to the local tastes. Its rarely quite the same as they would have in the home country.

So were the burger/kebab simply smaller portions of the adult menu? That I have seen a lot in countries where default for children to eat the same as the adults and I wish it was commoner in the UK.

The UK isn’t unique in having children’s menus which consist almost entirely of something-with-chips but its very far from the norm. Even a willingness to supply two plates with an adult meal would have been useful but unless the restaurant was Italian, Indian or similar you would have thought I was asking them to serve gravel.

Show quote history

The burger is a smaller version of the adult burger. The donor plate is with chips instead of bread/salad.
In fairness we've found that most places here will just give us an extra plate if we don't want to order from the children's menu - although I expect that will change when my daughter is older.

Apart from at "attraction" type places (aquarium, museum) the only two kid's meals my daughter has had in the UK were bangers and mash served with seasonal veg (broccoli and carrots) and grilled chicken, pitta bread and carrots with a yoghurt dip. So we've been fairly lucky in that respect.

almostbloody50 · 29/04/2025 15:47

We have bog standard British kids and they will eat everything.. from all cultures tastes etc. I agree with the majority, it’s a mixture of both.

We took them out from babies to restaurants, they eat fish etc and we don’t so we made an effort to introduce them to food even we don’t like. We made sure they had a huge variety of food but never forced food they didn’t like so there is zero stress in our house about eating.

I also think it’s luck they have no additional needs, no allergies etc so that does make it easier.

They also eat kebabs, McDonalds and utter junk!!

LightDrizzle · 29/04/2025 15:59

I must say I don’t agree with making children “finish everything on their plates”, I’d rather ignore what they leave and clear away after checking they’ve finished.

I absolutely do believe that serving one meal for everyone and eating together whenever possible is really important. The fussy adult brother and sister I referenced in a previous post were in a household where their mum prepared different things for them on request (always convenience foods).

My mum only asked us what we wanted for dinner on rare occasions when she hadn’t decided herself and shopped for it, usually if my dad was out. She wouldn’t have prepared different things for my brother and I. We also chose our birthday dinners. She didn’t make us finish anything we didn’t like on the plate although there would have been disapproval of refusing to try it.

insomniaclife · 30/04/2025 09:06

Nope it’s parenting

CandiedPrincess · 30/04/2025 09:13

I must say I don’t agree with making children “finish everything on their plates”, I’d rather ignore what they leave and clear away after checking they’ve finished.

I think the same @LightDrizzle Can't think of anything worse than someone forcing me to eat when I am full or had enough. We wouldn't do that to an adult, why do it to a child.

GoneGirl12345 · 30/04/2025 09:42

QuickPeachPoet · 28/04/2025 13:35

Don’t know about the ME but all the French people I know wouldn’t put up with the crap we do in the UK where kids rule the roost.

Yes, same for South Asian culture

QuickPeachPoet · 30/04/2025 10:11

LightDrizzle · 29/04/2025 15:59

I must say I don’t agree with making children “finish everything on their plates”, I’d rather ignore what they leave and clear away after checking they’ve finished.

I absolutely do believe that serving one meal for everyone and eating together whenever possible is really important. The fussy adult brother and sister I referenced in a previous post were in a household where their mum prepared different things for them on request (always convenience foods).

My mum only asked us what we wanted for dinner on rare occasions when she hadn’t decided herself and shopped for it, usually if my dad was out. She wouldn’t have prepared different things for my brother and I. We also chose our birthday dinners. She didn’t make us finish anything we didn’t like on the plate although there would have been disapproval of refusing to try it.

Edited

I agree with this and for this reason we don’t put food on the plates in the kitchen. It all goes in the middle and you take what you are going to eat and can come back for more if you want it. You have to have a small amount of everything (no SN issues so no reason not to).
We also meal plan - everyone can suggest one meal (has to be healthy) on a certain day.

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