To not understand how people fund their lives and feel a bit jealous?

[Travelenthusiast]

Just that really. Mid-30s and we have what I have always seen as a healthy income of £180k per annum (obviously been lower when we were younger and increased over time), and had some family help - about £50k to buy our first house several years ago.

And i’m not complaining about our quality of life- I know we are lucky and can afford a good holiday every year, and a more expensive/ luxury holiday occasionally. DS does a few extra-curricular activities, we don’t have to worry about the food shop total (we aren't extravagant at all) and can afford to eat out a few times a month etc. And I know we are lucky as I grew up in a poor family and understand the stress and implications.

But we have a very modest 3-bed house (with a big mortgage), our car is ten years old and there’s no way we could replace it, we can rarely afford to replace clothes and shoes for us (of course do for DS), days out are thought through to reduce cost, would make pack lunches to take into work and don’t buy shop coffees, we could not afford private school, and often we cut out the eating out to add to savings instead- basically £ is not abundant. And we are relatively careful financially and not big spenders generally. None of this is me saying our life is bad- I know we are really luckily, but just trying to give an idea of limitations / life.

We do live in SE commuter belt (not london) where everything is very expensive.

But we are surrounded by families who have so much more, so apparently effortlessly. We are genuinely one of the only local families without a 4x4 (i know cry me a river 🤣). How do others have it all and have the big house, the new car, endless holidays, SAHM often, the new clothes, meals out, lots of savings? Is it simply that they earn much more? I know we are lucky but I just don’t understand how so many can be so wealthy? Could most of our network really have a household income over £200k?!

It’s attention seeking and fantasist behaviour. OP likely has a sad lonely life and lives to wind people up on platforms like MN.

I’ve just seen that OP started a thread about a holiday with a budget of 15K yesterday so she clearly is affording all those nice things she is at the same time, coveting. I’m out. What a load of BS. The OP needs to take a look at herself.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5322945-any-better-resorts-for-our-budget-in-maldives-than-lux-south-ari-atoll

Unbelievable!

Why do supposedly intelligent people not understand this? Saying you earn blah blah but by the time the school fees, massive mortgage on our five bed detached house, holidays three times a year, children’s horse, ice skating, ballet, piano and violin lessons are paid for we barely have enough to redo our kitchen, build the extension and have a swimming pool installed. People don’t appreciate that a six figure salary is barely over the poverty line :(

I would guess that you have a huge mortgage to pay back OP, because there seems no reason not to be able to afford a new pair of shoes on your income. Also eating out 'several times a month' is expensive.
Have you kept a spreadsheet for a month of all your outgoings? It might surprise you.
And many people with extravagant lifestyles are doing it on credit.

🤣

This is such a limiting response.

She's not necessarily complaining - she keeps saying how lucky she is.

She's asking how others seem to afford much more than she does, and is it from earned income or something else?

It's a completely reasonable question and something that we should all be interested in, given the atrocious inequality in this country.

OP says she is jealous and wonders how others have it all. It doesn't sound like she is that happy with her lot.

Op I know you say you have left the thread but I am wondering how your bills could be so high when you live in a three bed semi and have only one child. It doesn’t add up.

Most people live in debt with absolutely zero financial planning for the future. It's all keeping up with Jones. We have c500k household income and we live like you do but pay off mortgage, save, do up the (wreck of a) house, etc. We (and you) will be glad of it one day i'm sure.

It does make you wonder how it will all pan out when it comes to retirement age…and some people who have earned well will have no pension or savings and huge debts.

Will they have to work until they drop or declare bankruptcy or will they be bailed out in some way?

She’s bullshitting as she can afford a 15K holiday but apparently not a pair of shoes. 🙄

Ah. If I was covering a 15K holiday out of my income, I would be going barefoot too. Which would work actually on a beach in the Maldives.

I don't think OP doesn't realise how lucky she is, just surprised that on her large income she can't afford more things. I reckon if you asked a bunch of people what lifestyle they think they would have with a household income of 180k they would say large 4/5 bed detached, private school, at least 1 new car and multiple holidays per year. For most that's probably not realistic, especially now that cars and holidays have gone up so much. I think you have to compromise on at least one thing. Private school around me is around 2k per child per month. A mortgage of 500k over 25 years is almost 3k/month and in many places that only gets you a 3 bed semi.

Maldivian beaches are coral. You can cut your feet to shreds walking around barefoot.

(Missing point of the thread entirely!)

Unfortunately I've never been able to afford a trip to the Maldives so I wouldn't know. I'm obviously safer staying at home and wearing shoes...

Is still sand, that you can walk on. It’s just crushed/fine coral but will not cut your feet! 😳

Is still sand, that you can walk on. It’s just crushed/fine coral but will not cut your feet! 😳

Obviously I was on one of the, er, rougher beaches!

They are able to afford it because they are on benefits or in minimum wage jobs.

Well they must have more money than she does if they can afford more than she can. There’s many reasons why, better paid job, better investments, wealthy parents, maxed credit.

Read this title and thought saaame. We struggle, we have debt, I work part time as can’t afford childcare, DH self employed and bursting his arse to make ends meet and everyone else is booking holidays and buying this and that and generally living……… then I seen ur income is £180k. So that’s wild. I fair even imagine having that sort of income

If you live in a modest three bed house but are surrounded by families who have so much more, is your little house surrounded by (Mc)mansions?

This is mental