To not understand how people fund their lives and feel a bit jealous?

[Travelenthusiast]

Just that really. Mid-30s and we have what I have always seen as a healthy income of £180k per annum (obviously been lower when we were younger and increased over time), and had some family help - about £50k to buy our first house several years ago.

And i’m not complaining about our quality of life- I know we are lucky and can afford a good holiday every year, and a more expensive/ luxury holiday occasionally. DS does a few extra-curricular activities, we don’t have to worry about the food shop total (we aren't extravagant at all) and can afford to eat out a few times a month etc. And I know we are lucky as I grew up in a poor family and understand the stress and implications.

But we have a very modest 3-bed house (with a big mortgage), our car is ten years old and there’s no way we could replace it, we can rarely afford to replace clothes and shoes for us (of course do for DS), days out are thought through to reduce cost, would make pack lunches to take into work and don’t buy shop coffees, we could not afford private school, and often we cut out the eating out to add to savings instead- basically £ is not abundant. And we are relatively careful financially and not big spenders generally. None of this is me saying our life is bad- I know we are really luckily, but just trying to give an idea of limitations / life.

We do live in SE commuter belt (not london) where everything is very expensive.

But we are surrounded by families who have so much more, so apparently effortlessly. We are genuinely one of the only local families without a 4x4 (i know cry me a river 🤣). How do others have it all and have the big house, the new car, endless holidays, SAHM often, the new clothes, meals out, lots of savings? Is it simply that they earn much more? I know we are lucky but I just don’t understand how so many can be so wealthy? Could most of our network really have a household income over £200k?!

Look it up for yourself. The top 3-4 bands regularly hit that level, especially in rural areas. Council tax is often lower per band in urban areas due to the density of housing and there are less “extras” charged for eg garden waste removal, large item removal etc.

That modest sized 3 bed detached houses (as per pp) or good sized semis will fall into the top 4 bands (or at least they do in the areas I know best).

You do have the money for clothes and a 4x4 you choose to spend it on other things like holidays.

Unless you're someone like Jeff Bezos there will always be richer people than you. That's life. You also don't know how they're paying for what they have. They may be in massive debt.

But quite honestly, coming on here and complaining about your £180k salary is fucking disgraceful.

If you are smart enough to earn 180K and had family help to get on the housing ladder then you should be smart enough to use a spreadsheet, analyse your spending and work out where the waste is going. If you have chosen to max out on discretionary items you have your answer.

I’m constantly amazed at high earners who don’t track their spending. I grew up poor and learned to stretch and track money and although its been a very long time since I needed to watch the pennies I still track everything. I’ve taught my DC to do the same.

One of life’s mysteries isn’t it? I’ve lost count how many people on MN apparently earn high salaries but are so lacking in their thinking capabilities I wonder what jobs they have that pay so well. Unless watching paint dry commands a six figure salary?

Early 40's, live in Ireland. Combined salaries including bonuses, shares (we are gifted and sell) probably about €270k.
Sounds like loads I know but we quickly go through it 🙈
But unlike OP we do enjoy she says she can't afford, clothes for children etc wouldn't be an issue.
We live in a desirable location but not a city. Near the coast. 4 bed detached. 2 cars (5 and 4 years old). Go on luxury/adventure holiday once a year along with shorter breaks and usually a ski trip.
2 kids, eldest with start private secondary in September.

We usually do one upgrade to house a year. Last year we redid the living room completely, this year bathroom renovation.
OP if managing money properly this should be your reality. Also we had absolutely zero help from parents. Haven't had a single euro im inheritance.

There are of course people in our area/social circle much better off but I dont even give that a second thought. I just focus on my own life and own family.

Looooooooooool behave

Because £10k a month is a huge amount of money. Some people live on £10k a year. Do not believe the hype that £10k a month isn't a lot of money.

Just because you spend it and dont have anything to show for it, doesn't make it any less money, it just means you spend it... you could easily make it go further - but then you wouldn't have the stuff you spend it on.

Sorry OP, this will sound harsh but - GROW UP

Oh FFS x 1000.

Really? This is clearly a piss take then. What do people gain from doing this. Clearly money does not buy happiness or contentment.

We earn less than half of OP and feel lucky.

Your title is "To not understand how people fund their lives and feel a bit jealous?"

If you had said "I live in a very affluent area and am jealous that my neighbours have more disposable income than I do - what shall I do?" the discussion might have gone better.

If you met my son 30 & his partner 26 you would probably wonder how they afford their house which is lovely 3 bed ensuite. 2 baths double drive garden office high spec furnishings

they have 2 cars each worth 15 & 25 k each
go on holiday abroad. 2-3 times a year
regular weekends away for Gay Pride
always doing stuff

But my son had a huge deposit via inheritance and still has a fair chunk of money left left over

his partner also had a much smaller inheritance and he bought the cars

I have no doubt that they will both inherit agai. In the next 5 years and probably again in 10 years and if they do they will probably pay off their mortgage

I also had a large inheritance as well so I basically paid for all furniture / beds sofas tv white goods new carpets shutters garden furniture basically a whole 3 bed house worth of furniture

So two young men under 30 are basically living in a forever type house having not actually paid for anything upfront and still have plenty in savings

They are probably on around 75 between them
they have a lodger as well who pays 700 a month and they reckon they will be mortgage free in 10 years
They also won’t be having kids so that frees up a huge amount of money as well for them

It’s human nature to wonder how..it’s different to being bothered by it!

I feel that we have been naive with saving, we have savings but haven’t maximised those into accounts which would give us more returns, we are probably a bit safe and naive and don’t bother looking for good deals. It may be others are better at that. It may be they have had inheritance or family support. They may in in huge debt, and if that is a high percentage of people how will that eventually pan out?

I am not envious but interested in how others do it. Others on this thread reek of envy though, which is a bit pathetic as we should be able to discuss things as the adults we all are.

I bloody hate the posts like "I know 7 million sounds like a lot but wah wah wah.....it really isn't when you take into account [insert expensive things]"

No one lives on 10k per year, minimum wage is higher than that andthey will have huge state top ups and other freebies.

You earn £180k and can’t afford to buy coffee from a shop??? I don’t believe you.

It's because they've got more money than you. And you just cannot believe it.

less Than 20k a yr. well cared for 10yo car. Modest 2 bed house. Small savings. Small pension.

I feel wealthy - not rich, I don’t have fuck you money. But I’m debt free. Get to do things I enjoy (admittedly low cost) have some OK friends, I’m mostly happy. Can buy the things I want. I’m going abroad this year.

difference between me and you is I’ve got enough and I’m not chasing some superficial ideal of what i’m supposed to.

Absolutely this! Jfc who on earth is kidding themselves 10k per month "isn't a lot of money" 🤯

My nan always said money doesn't buy happiness and from reading threads on mn I think she was right. People earning in the top % still moaning they "need" more, it's actually nauseating to be honest.

We are low earners, we work around our son with additional needs. Last week he was running around on the beach in Wales, eating beans and mushrooms with toast for tea and he announced it was "the best day in my whole entire life" 🤣

Oh and before anyone asks no we aren't on any benefits and we didn't get "help" with our house deposit etc either.

Your total income is 3 times bigger than ours.

You are taking the piss

Wow that to me is a huge salary. More than double our combined income. I’m amazed you can’t replace an old car or buy new clothes when earning almost £200k.

Is it school holidays, because this seems like someone with too much time on their hands. If it's genuine they are wasting a lot of cash, must keep amazon in business etc.

To be fair to @Travelenthusiast she's gone to every effort to say she is not bemoaning her own life, merely asking why others seem to have so much more when she earns well and did have help.

I think that's a fair question.

I have often wondered if myself on days out when I see people at the zoo spending £10 a person on burgers rather than a picnic etc. Same with all the extras at trampoline places, farm parks etc.

I am happy I can afford the day out but I do wonder where people get all the extra cash to splurge and how they afford their new 4x4 to drive home in.

I can't help with the answer though as it's also a mystery to me.

Just ignore the posters who are getting pissed off OP. Reply to people who are responding in good faith.

Im in a lower income bracket that you and see people on the same income or less driving fancy big cars. I assume they get them on lease. Some people manage to pay their mortgage off quickly and then have more disposable income to put towards holidays.

We’d need to see a breakdown of your spending to comment but I can see that won’t be possible in this climate of people digging into you and saying you are being goady/trolling/showing off, which is unfortunate.