Am I a pearl clutcher?

[Pawse]

I’m genuinely interested whether I’m being unreasonable in being completely shocked by what I witnessed today.

I’m away with my family on a European beach holiday and we were on one of those Cruise and Swim trips that you can take in most touristy places.

We were at the first stop at a beautiful clear blue lagoon. The water was shallow, full of fish and an idyllic place for snorkelling.

Most of the adults and kids jumped in and were having a great time splashing about and snorkelling. I didn’t go in as I was taking pictures, but really it was too bloody cold for me.

Anyway, a woman clutching a jam jar with a ribbon around it, started performance crying. I thought the jar had some fine dirty looking sand in it. It was only 1/4 full.

She started sniffing and dabbing her eyes saying “Goodbye Martin.” Then her male partner/friend jumped in the water. She then passed the jam jar to her male friend and said “This is what Martin would have wanted,” at which point I realised in horror that the “sand” was actually some poor bloke’s ashes.

I expected the male friend to at least swim to the other side of the boat away from the main groups of swimming families, but he just swam to the edge of them. I was desperately trying to see where my kids were so didn’t actually see him “scatter” them, luckily my kids were the other side of the main groups.

The woman was comforted by a female friend when the male friend came back onboard. It all happened so quickly.

So am I being unreasonable to think when you scatter someone’s ashes at sea you do it discreetly on the edge of a quiet beach or empty them (again discreetly) at the back of a boat when it’s moving. Or even hire a bloody motorboat and do it privately and with dignity NOT do it beside families who are swimming and enjoying a lovely holiday day out.

I am still absolutely flabbergasted, but maybe I’m a pearl clutcher and just didn’t know it!

The UK is quite relaxed about scattering ashes but most other countries in Europe do not allow it.

How very Saltburn.

it's a fairly unusual way to spread ashes, on a leisure boat with people snorkelling. The ceremonial aspect of doing it in public wouldn't bother me, I don't think kids should be protected from things like that, it's part of life. But the thought of swallowing a mouthful of gritty sea water with bits of Martin in.....

I think you should scatter ashes away from other people so they are well dispersed before they reach human life.

It's not like it's really a person scattered into the sea.Bodies are cremated en masse unfortunately.Something I didn't know until recently.

But would it be ok if there was a dead body there but out of shot? 🤔 this is the question! 🤣

In sea water? Disgusting! Fish fuck in the sea.

A quarter of a jam jar probably equates to about a foot at the very most. Suspect Martin liked holidaying there. I live on the coast and have seen it a few times. Once with extended family, a microphone and speeches and guitar playing.

In the UK it is required by law that bodies are cremated individually.

😂

A goldfish that thought he was a shark, so into the sea his ashes go...🦈🐠🐟🎣🐡🎐🦦

All this talk of Martin, I'm picturing Martin from Friday Night Dinner (Paul Ritter).

I think YANBU really - should be done discreetly rather than performatively.
If Martin had a grave, he'd no doubt be turning in it 👍

Iv worked in crematoriums (long time ago and in the US). We are also required to perform cremations individually. I remember a heartbreaking case where a mother and baby died at the same time and even though the family wanted them to be cremated together we couldn't do it. We would have been shut down by the state. Also retorts don't realistically fit more than one person. An issue that is arising right now is a lot don't even fit one very overweight person.