To leave the marital home in a mess

[DaisyBloo]

I’ll be the one leaving the marital home and setting up in a new house. It’ll be therapeutic to start from scratch again and make the house completely my own however I’m very aware of how much of a mess the family home is -

Every cupboard is full to bursting with clutter, our children’s bedrooms are full of stuff and messy, our bedroom is again full of clutter and the whole house really needs a massive deep clean. I’ll be starting from scratch and leaving all furniture in the marital home. We’ve even got a shed in the garden that’s full to the top with old toys and junk. While it will be refreshing to be in a lovely tidy place and to leave the clutter behind I feel like I can’t truly leave it all to my ex to sort through (he won’t!)

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Ideally I’ll go back every so often and go through stuff but he may well not allow me access or be very difficult.

I was left with a whole load of junk. To be honest, he had his pick of things, and once it was all mine it was actually quite cathartic dealing with the junk he left. Yes I would have preferred he took it but I was pleased he didn't have to come back time and time again to take his stuff.
I had worked very hard in the run up to dump his stuff round his new place, so was pleased I could put it on freecycle, out for the scrap an, etc

I think YABU.

Of course you can leave it, but on that basis you have no right to complain if he hires a skip and chucks it all

Have you managed to do any sorting Op? Have you moved out?!

Nothing you can do when you move out, even if you leave it immaculate it will be a tip again in a month or two if he does nothing. Take what you want, bin what you don't want (that is yours), if the kids are willing bin their stuff that they don't want, but whenever I ask they want to keep everything! The rest is all his.

But surely it's no different to what the kids are living in full time at the moment