To think parenting with screens is becoming completely normalised

[Minimalistmamaoftwo]

my husband and I were travelling with our two children on a ferry over the weekend. It’s an eight hour journey, our children are 4 and 1. We had brought lots of books/coloring/games and a Tonie (with headphones) as backup if they got really tired.
there were a family next to us about our age with slightly older children, maybe 6 and 3. The children were on their iPads for the entire eight hour journey. The mum read a book, the dad was on his phone with headphones in, they also played cards together while the children sat next to them plugged into headphones. We were absolutely astonished. It just felt like they were just relaxing and doing whatever they wanted and had completely absolved themselves of parenting because the iPads were doing it for them.
Just to note before people respond with the usual points, no suggestion they were ND and the argument that parents need a break can surely not be applied for eight hours whilst completely ignoring their children. I just felt really sad for them and worried for society

They were quiet, relaxed, didn't disturb anyone, sounds like the whole family got to relax in a way that suited them. You got a snapshot into their lives. Why do you feel the need to judge? You do you, let them do them.

I think that’s fine.
They might have had a few few weeks travel already, or have busy travel and schedules on arrival. So it makes sense everyone is rested if happy. Parents don’t need to be 24/7 on the go with kids

We have a long haul flight soon. Followed by 3 week tour and full on travel. If Ds is happy to watch a screen on plane, so I can read my kindle I would be all for it. We will have already had a 6hr train journey to the airport before flight and 3hrs at airport, so after 9hrs colouring and games I think it’s fine

Also, you have a 1 year old. They are more full on and won’t just watch a film. When yours are 6 and 9 I’m sure a film whilst you relax is also a possibility

FFS, the first reply is so typical. The snapshot argument is so ridiculous and since when is 8 hours a snapshot?

Everyone should be concerned about and judge 3 and 6 year olds being glued to devices for hours on end. It’s shit parenting. YANBU at all OP but nothing gets people as defensive as this and anyone excusing it is presumably being as lazy and irresponsible. A generation of children growing up addicted to screens is everyone’s problem.

We are doing eight hours on the ferry this summer, you bet I’m bringing the iPads.

We take devices, knitting and a couple of card games. We do a bit of everything, but the kids don't want to spend every moment interacting with me - I see the ipad as not significantly different to colouring or reading a book (both of which they can do on their ipads if they so wish)

The advantage is that no-one's fighting over the red crayon, or dropping them and having to chase them around if the sea gets a bit rough.

I also very much doubt they sat like that for eight hours solid and never interacted.

Sounds great to me. Mine are 20 and 16 and they had basic Tesco tablets when they were little. They still did plenty of drawing, colouring and playing outside.

I agree. I mean at least have a walk around and see what's going on and talk to the kids about it before having ipads as a go to. Of course ipads have their place but people use them top quickly. The next generation are fucked.

So for eight hours, they never spoke, they didn’t leave their seats, they didn’t go to the toilet, they didn’t go to get food together? They just sat on their iPads wordlessly for 8 hours solid? A 3yo?

Are you sure they weren’t mannequins?

You have absolutely no idea, none at all, why they did what they did. Neither do we do what on earth is the point judging/speculating/writing a thread about it.

we don’t know and neither do you

Maybe they have really busy lives and like to relax their own way. Maybe it was an educational program on the iPad. Maybe the parents needed some time to reconnect for the good of all the family. Maybe the only reason you didn’t spot SN was because they were regulated. Maybe the 8 hours solid iPad was the kids chosen treat for doing something awesome. Maybe they’re shit parents.

but do you know what’s worse? Judging something you know fuck all about.

I bet some people posting here are on their phones 8 hours a day.

Is becoming?

Surely has been for a few years.

'no suggestion they were ND'

I am curious OP, what does ND look like to you?

God who cares.

Presumably you’re in a device now OP and aren’t accessing MN via a potato?

Ahh ok. I misread that it was a ferry. I thought it was a plane. On a plane, walking around isn't really possible and can be annoying to others. I would think iPad time is fine while flying (one planes I only walked around up to toddler age unless the toilet was needed)
8hrs is a snspsnot it is travel time and predumably the have some sort of exciting travel / holiday plans ahead or behind them.
but yes, on a ferry I would probably be more likely to move around and explore, play games etc.
but you never can tell if there is neurodiversity, travel phobias, travel sickness, or other reasons for the family deciding iPads are the best choice.
and did they really not talk, eat, use the toilet or move around? For OP to have observed them for the whole 8hrs, they must have also be sat next to them the whole time and not moving or exploring either?! 🤷‍♀️

to me yes i like books but on a tablet / screen i can read about so much more information or articles eg chatgpt information etc so to me tablets are the new books.

Significant screentime on an 8-hour ferry crossing doesn't seem that crazy. As a child I loved a ferry trip, and would get really excited about it, but actually I'd spend almost the entire time sitting in the 'cinema' room watching a nonstop reel of Looney Tunes. 8 hours of Bluey on a tablet is pretty much the modern equivalent!

I do struggle not to feel a bit judgemental when I see families whose children are plugged into screentime throughout family meals in restaurants though. Yes, I know, I don't have the full facts, they may be ND, etc. But I can't help feeling a bit sad that it's become so normal for children to be so disconnected from the adults around them.

I get motion sickness even on a ferry and would rather stab myself in the face than walk around. I have to read or listen to a podcast or close my eyes or be on a tablet to ensure I don’t vomit or pass out.

Agree with you.
But we are 'against the norm' as we are screen free. Kids (4 and 7) are too young for them.

We’re not 3 years old.

The thing is, judgement isn't a bad thing per se. Just as often as it enforces oppressive norms, it enforces socially necessary norms which protect the vulnerable.

My son is autistic. We wouldn't be able to go to restaurants without taking his iPad. People on other tables wouldn't be able to spot his autism, as his iPad keeps him regulated. It gives us a chance to go out as a family. Even at home he can't usually cope with family meals. Getting him out and trying different foods (even with the help of an iPad) is a huge step forward for us. Please try not to judge what you don't fully understand.

Some poster have not developed much past that age, though.

These threads may as well all be titled ‘I’m a superior parent’