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AIBU?

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Original poster

Friends husband running the marathon tomorrow but she’s not going to watch him

239 replies

ML5 · 26/04/2025 18:45

Just wondering - friends husband is running in the Marathon tomorrow but she’s not attending to watch him as she’s busy at home & even if she does go chances are she won’t be able to see him from the crowds she said. Is this a mean thing to do or AIBU to think that

OP posts:
TheOriginalEmu · 27/04/2025 03:17

I wouldn’t go. Heaving crowds and loud people? No chance.
id do something nice for him when he got home and I would show my support in other ways.

Musicaltheatremum · 27/04/2025 05:15

I'm awake at 5 am with a cough and am exhausted. Come all the way from Edinburgh to watch my daughter in the marathon as I didn't see her in 2021. I'm not looking forward to it at all as I hate crowds. She's doing the Edinburgh one in a month too. Ugh. But I'll still support her.

HugelyExpensiveCrystalDuck · 27/04/2025 07:04

Moveoverdarlin · 27/04/2025 00:39

I wouldn’t watch either. I would find it quite boring. Surely you only get a quick glimpse and a wave at most?

Me too. I’m going to an athletics competition today all day to watch my eighteen year old run for twelve seconds but I enjoy it because there is so much to see. Watching a marathon does not appeal to me at all.

Tropizienne · 27/04/2025 07:29

Depends on the context - if her DH runs & is a running bore or does it with running mates & it’s all about that then don’t see why she needs to be there even if it is a big deal to him. If it’s a really personal thing & would mean a lot for her to be there then it might be different. I don’t know how you get to see them crossing the finish line with the amount of people going, so might not be the emotional finish you think is going to be. Or even at a viewing spot along the way. If you’ve got your own hobbies & interests I don’t think you have to both go unless it’s really important to one of you & you want them there. But then I think marathons are a bit weird if am honest!

TizerorFizz · 27/04/2025 07:57

The problem with a marathon is you mostly watch everyone else! Standing around for hours. We watched the 2012 Olympic marathon in London (in the grandstand) and it was the least exciting thing we saw. Our bit was on repeat so they went by a few times but other than be in awe of the speed the elite athletes run at, it feels remote and difficult to invest in. Watching the London marathon gives you around 100m to see anyone. Going for a wee and you’ve missed them!

Mistyglade · 27/04/2025 09:28

First answer nailed it again.

Cherrytree86 · 27/04/2025 10:09

TizerorFizz · 26/04/2025 20:13

Anyone who thinks it’s fun being a single parent when partner is absent for hours and hours training is deluded. It’s a very selfish hobby if you have dc.

@TizerorFizz

what if you don’t have kids? Is it still a selfish hobby? Incidentally the couple Op is talking about have grown up children - does that still make it selfish?

Cherrypies · 27/04/2025 13:50

My 90 year old dad, ran the London marathon 3 times in the past, my mum, me and my sister were there every time, it's a huge achievement, who would not want to be there to celebrate that!

TizerorFizz · 27/04/2025 13:56

@Cherrytree86 Probably, but defends on what else they are not doing. If they live separate lives, I guess they don’t care.

No one can run a marathon without substantial training. So it takes time away from doing other things. Thats ok in some families but not in others. I am saying this as DH spent time playing golf when our dc were little. Entirely selfish. Took up half a weekend. In the end choices had to be made. I’ve seen runners go out weekends and evenings in relentless pursuit of times. One friend died on a marathon. I think a bit of fun running is fine, obsessive running is selfish.

sunnydayz75 · 27/04/2025 17:49

My OH run marathon today. I didn't go as have kids one with SEN and they would hate all the crowds . May not be able to find him at the finish line and will cause stress trying to find him with all those people to be honest London is a nightmare with bus replacement and he will have dinner ready for when he gets home. All that matters is what the runner (person taking part in marathon think ) IMO

greengreyblue · 27/04/2025 18:25

Cherrypies · 27/04/2025 13:50

My 90 year old dad, ran the London marathon 3 times in the past, my mum, me and my sister were there every time, it's a huge achievement, who would not want to be there to celebrate that!

Depends on circumstances

starsinthedarksky · 27/04/2025 18:26

Cherrytree86 · 26/04/2025 18:50

she doesn’t sound like a good partner. Running a marathon is a huge deal, it’s a massive achievement - if my partner wasn’t supportive of me with it I.e coming to see me pass the finish line I’d genuinely be reconsidering my relationship.

This is pathetic. Not wanting to stand around in a massive crowd in the boiling heat all day to maybe not even get a glimpse of someone does not make anyone a bad partner🤣

GiveDogBone · 27/04/2025 18:30

It’s a bit shitty tbh. Every single one of my friends who’s done the marathon (in this country) has been supported by their partner. Frankly, it’s not meant to be a fun day out for them, running the marathon isn’t exactly a bundle of laughs.

Marmiv87 · 27/04/2025 18:52

Do you fancy him?

Buzyizzy217 · 27/04/2025 19:34

There were 56,000 runners. What would have been the point?

SunDash · 27/04/2025 19:50

Honestly why are you even writing about this. Bit of a non-story.
You want to know their arrangements, dynamics?🤣

TizerorFizz · 27/04/2025 19:51

So that’s 56,000 at the finish plus dc and other mates. Clearly not all supports go. It’s far too crowded to see anything much.

hotpotlover · 27/04/2025 20:18

She might be anxious of large crowds, but doesn't want to divulge the real reason to you.

Anonymous2003 · 27/04/2025 20:20

I'm running part of a marathon next weekend and no one I know is coming to watch. I wouldn't expect them to, it's a long boring day with nowhere to park, nightmare to travel and for the sake of seeing me run past for 20 seconds from the back of a crowd.

Dawnb19 · 27/04/2025 20:42

I wouldn't either. Imagine standing in a crowd for hours with no toilets, seats or refreshments just for the off chance she might see her partner for 5 seconds, as he runs passed. She might even put him off. She's better off waiting in the house and running a bath if he needs one then having a early night so she doesn't have to listen to all the compliments about his legs or feet hurting. 😂

GiraffesAtThePark · 27/04/2025 20:47

Is it his first? Some people do lots and so it’s less special. He might not be bothered. Is he running with friends?

theonlygirl · 27/04/2025 21:17

DH did a marathon long before I met him. If he did another as a one off, I probably would go and meet him once he'd finished just to make sure I was there if he keeled over or something. However if he started doing them regularly then no I wouldn't go. Unless it was somewhere I wanted to visit and had things to do while he was running. Like drink wine 😆

crockofshite · 27/04/2025 21:37

I mean .... How interesting is it to watch someone running ? For 26 miles? Unless it's your six year old at school sports day. Would she follow him in the car if he was a cycling MAML on a Sunday morning? Or playing 18 holes of golf with his boy buddies, or throwing darts or whatever? She's right to get on with her own thing and leave him to it.

Rosejasmine · 27/04/2025 21:49

It’s absolutely none of your business.

Woofie7 · 27/04/2025 22:56

Having watched my husband at numerous marathons, twice at London it’s v v tiring. to try and see your tiny person’s t shirt in amongst all those t shirts even if you think it’s an original colour with names on, you’ll find it’s not. Try matching t shirt, hair trainers and that’s if you can get close enough to a barrier to see them . They are usually four or five plus deep .
it’s practically impossible to get a good place you need to get there about 6am . There is no point using phone as the signals are rather like NYE totally rammed. Your neck aches back aches eyeballs ache tummy aches from anxiety. All through no choice of yours .
and trying to rendezvous with someone at the end with the crowds no phone signal and their legs seizing up is just 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️😵‍💫😫
SO I say good choice to her!

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