Friends husband running the marathon tomorrow but she’s not going to watch him

[ML5]

Just wondering - friends husband is running in the Marathon tomorrow but she’s not attending to watch him as she’s busy at home & even if she does go chances are she won’t be able to see him from the crowds she said. Is this a mean thing to do or AIBU to think that

Meh. DH has run our one several times when DC were young. He just told me roughly what time he would be running past our flat and I took the DC down to cheer then went back home. My parents did the same for him at a different, prearranged point of the marathon.

No way would I have done it without a time frame to be looking for him/if I had had to take 2 young hyperactive DC a long way with me.

Let’s see — starting a nosy, judgemental thread on the internet about her?

It sounds like she’s watched him run before and realised you don’t see much. It’s not like she can follow him round shouting encouragement - he’ll be past by her in seconds. Most people I know who run marathons/long races, the family go to the first one or two, and then after that don’t go or they’ll go sightseeing and meet up afterwards if it’s somewhere interesting.

A more succinct answer than mine, thank you!

My DH runs the North Run. I don’t watch him. Too busy at home with our children and definitely not taking them to stand about for hours, especially since it is during the school year and 5 hours from where we live. He runs with his uncle and cousin and it is mostly a competition for them since they’re runners.

Her children may be adults but she probably supported him in other ways that don’t mean her having to be at the actual event.

If your friend posted on a forum with 9 million users about you being busy and called you mean for it, would you think 'aww, what a brilliant friend!'?

I think it’s pointless to go tbh. You see someone run past for 60 seconds (if you’re lucky enough to even spot them) and they won’t see you, they won’t even know if you’re there or not! I guess it’s nice to be there to meet them afterwards but going to cheer them on is really not worth the bother.

I went o support by DB. Very hard to catch a glimpse. They’ve obviously made a decision so it’s none of your business. She can watch at home.

I've done it once but I wouldn't do it again, it was a total faff. Much better just to hear all about it afterward.

Having been to watch my dad in multiple London marathons - it is boring as bloody sin for everyone who is not a runner. Just hours of waiting around to see someone for thirty seconds who often doesn't even realise you're there.

Honestly my ExH ran marathons and they are bloody boring as spectators and difficult to get around as well with traffic closures and what not.

i stopped going after a few years.

Also depends if he’s done it before. DH did the Prudentual Ride 100 bike ride. We went the first time with young teens to watch him finish at The Mall. The second time we didn’t .

None of your business, OP, but of course you know that already.

She probably is just being kind by saying she's busy at home but in reality she's become bored shitless with DH undoubtably blathering on about it for the last few months.

I don’t blame her. It’s deathly boring

I wouldn't go either tbh.

My husband runs half and full marathons throughout the year, I have been three times to see him in about 10 years.
It’s boring as fuck, you see them run past for about 5 seconds, after taking ages to get there, as it’s a ball ache to park, and then hang about till they finish.
Sure I’m proud of him, but it’s just not my thing, and I’ve better things to do with my time at the weekend, when we are both working all week.

My dd runs the school's marathon every year. Just a mile run once the adults half marathon finishes. I hate having to watch her because it's just hours of standing around to see her for about 4 seconds. But she's my daughter so I'm there with a banner and a smile and lots of encouragement even though it's crap. I'd rather mop the ocean than do the same for a man.

Do you fancy him OP? You seem a bit over invested in how it might affect him. Have you thought “if I was with him I’d watch” or “he deserves better.”

He has probably been so busy training that she is throughly pissed off with it all.

So you have no ideawhat she is doing tomorrow, but judged it to be unimportant?

If they're doing it for a sense of personal achievement then it shouldn't matter who's watching.

Wow, you must be really jealous of her. With friends like you, who needs enemies.

Watching a marathon for hours to catch a glimpse of someone sounds incredibly tedious.

Okay so as someone who has supported friends as they ran by - it’s almost impossible to spot your friend as they run by. Everyone is red faced and looks the same and they are a lot of people deep and are going at a pace. They spotted me I didn’t spot them so suggestions of water and snacks are silly as you almost likely won’t spot them and unless they are on the side you are you won’t be close to them.

Romantic views but in reality much much different.

My husband is running it and I'm not going 😂 I've gone before but he's done loads. If I wasn't busy i probably would have. The mile by mile analysis afterwards with his running pals is quite dull though! He's probably glad I'm not going so he can stay and talk about it for longer.
I do a hobby he's not interested in and I don't mind when he doesn't come to watch.