Friends husband running the marathon tomorrow but she’s not going to watch him

[ML5]

Just wondering - friends husband is running in the Marathon tomorrow but she’s not attending to watch him as she’s busy at home & even if she does go chances are she won’t be able to see him from the crowds she said. Is this a mean thing to do or AIBU to think that

How long have you had the hots for this bloke, @ML5 ?

Do you not have much going on in your life?

Because you’re a judgemental arse?! Friends don’t tear each other down… 🙄

I’ve taken primary age children and watched my husband, a family member, and two friends. Always tracked and made sure to be in the right place at the right time and seen them at the point near the Tower of London where they pass nearby twice. Loved every minute, every time. Running that distance in the times they do is impressive as is their passion for their cause. I can’t afford to sponsor much but I can cheer them on at the top of my lungs.

It’s ok for people to have different opinions on how friendships work. Some people think devotion to one’s DH is vital and others don’t. The op could go and watch if she wants to. The wife of the runner can make up her own mind.

DH runs a lot of marathons, I have never watched him, it's his hobby not mine

London is a horrible place to be in on marathon day. Busy, noisy, transport is horrendous, hotels are super expensive, you'll never get a table at a restaurant. If it doesn't bother her husband that she's not going, I don't see the problem. At the end of the day, she'd just be standing in crowded streets on her own for hours on end, hoping to catch a glimpse of someone in a crowd of thousands. I don't blame her.

Do you want to go @OP?

Heaven forbid she have her own life.

it’s a hobby.

she has likely supported him for weeks and months by taking on extra responsibilities so he can engage in his hobby. Standing in a crowd really doesn’t make a difference.

I'm with her. If I supported DH at all his bloody races it would be hours of every month wasted for me! Watching a marathon is boring, sorry but once you've done one you've done your time - IMHO!

My ex-husband used to run - to stay in shape, never in marathons or in any races at all.
I felt bad for him running alone so I started going with him - at first it was tough but I got better & better & not soon I was doing better than him.
It made him furious, the macho shithead.
hahaha

Fucking hell.

I don't blame her. I can't think of anything more boring.

I wouldn't go nor expect my DH to come to mine if I did one.
Horrific crowds and just standing around. A nightmare if you've got kids.

I do lots of charity hikes. My DH has dropped me off at a couple and picked me up after but certainly wasn't hanging round the finish line or anything like that.

Maybe if it's a young couple who have no kids or many responsibilities. You could go hang around the route cheering your partner on. Thats sweet.

But it's just not achievable for most people.
Marathons are LONG events.

It’s his hobby and it’s a solo one. I can’t think of anything I’d rather do on my Sunday than watch other people running. It’s a very dull watch imo.

Id rather be back home doing something I enjoy and be ready to congratulate them on their return.

I agree with this. If it is unusual for him I think nice if she could go but as a regular runner I wouldn't be bothered if family didn't come to watch as it is hard to see people

Ohh I love how you summed that up
<pops that saying up my sleeve>

"It could not be less of your business"

I think it would be mean it was his first marathon but if it’s something he’s done before or if he regularly does endurance cycles etc then I think that there is no need for her to watch

Average time for men is 4 hours 11 minutes, and you see them for what, a couple of minutes as they go past you?

I can see why she wouldn't, I don't think I would either.

Depends on the situation.

I have a friend who is a very avid runner. Multiple half marathons a year. Never been there to watch her, she wouldn't see why we would.

Another friend hates running with a passion but after a family members diagnosis ran a 5K for charity. It was a huge deal to her and we were there on the day to support her.

My dad has ran a half marathon a couple of times as he runs as a hobby and wanted a bigger goal. I didn't go, nor did my mum. The second time his brother did it with him so my mum did go and my mum and aunt set up with chairs, some wine and cheese and made a day of it - the ones who ran had to do the driving back 😅.

Maybe for the 1st marathon - for all the subsequent ones, no

It’s a lot of standing around in crowds to see a sweaty man waddle past. Nahh she can see him when he comes home

I wouldn’t watch either. I would find it quite boring. Surely you only get a quick glimpse and a wave at most?

Why would you need to think anything either way?

I will run a marathon soon and do not expect DH to come watch me. It is my hobby, not his. In fact, he will take care of chores while I am racing. YABU.