Friends husband running the marathon tomorrow but she’s not going to watch him

[ML5]

Just wondering - friends husband is running in the Marathon tomorrow but she’s not attending to watch him as she’s busy at home & even if she does go chances are she won’t be able to see him from the crowds she said. Is this a mean thing to do or AIBU to think that

As a runner I wouldn’t expect DH to come and watch me. Though he did come to my one and only marathon. We stayed the night before at his Aunts house that was a ten min walk from the start line. He walked down with me to see me off, then went back to the house and tracked me from there so he could walk back to see me finish.

I certainly wouldn’t have expected him to stand around for nearly six hours which is about how long it took me. If it’s a big city marathon like London it must be a bit of a nightmare finding where you need to be anyway.

can i ask why has it bothered you so much that she isn’t going? why is it that deep? it’s none of your business really. it seems like you’re being judgmental of her decision not to go for some odd reason. mind your own business

Ha? Yes. Anyone who thinks they'll get close enough to see their partner cross the finish line at the London Marathon is in for a huge disappointment. It took nearly 15 minutes after he'd finished to even be able to find my friend to say well done.

Yep, standing around to see someone pass you for 5 seconds is not my idea of fun . Sorry . I could be persuaded to be there at the end to meet him at a big push.

None of your business. I'd be bored out of my mind watching other people run.

YABU for thinking it’s any of your business.

I’d be bored stiff watching the marathon and pissed off with all the crowds etc. I’d be verbally supportive but would have no interest in travelling to London to watch any of it.

Anyone who thinks it’s fun being a single parent when partner is absent for hours and hours training is deluded. It’s a very selfish hobby if you have dc.

Depends if this is his first ever (and likely only) marathon. Or has he run several marathons, half-marathons, 10k etc?

Having watched my DH run the London Marathon a few times it’s really hard work watching them. I don’t blame them for not watching them during the race. Are they meeting them afterwards though as they might need some help after running 26.2 miles. On race day you can spot those who ran a mile off due to the pained look on their face and their inability to walk normally.

I can think of a million things I'd rather do than watch running. My DH wouldn't even think of asking me. It's really entitled to think family or friends want to stand watching people running. If you want me to watch you then atleast put on a performance like dance, act, sing.
@ML5 Is this when you are going to justify having an affair with your friend's DH because she's not very supportive as wife?

I think YABU, I watched ExH do some but also missed some and I doubt I’d go watch if current DH did another. I don’t really see it as a “massive achievement” as a PP said. I get it’s hard work but in general (unless it’s for a personal charity cause) it’s something the individual wants to do / their hobby.

On that basis - I don’t feel the need to watch a partner do a hobby - especially when you have so much standing around and only see them for a few seconds.

I get I might be unreasonable though as I don’t get why anyone watches any sporting event - I get doing them but not watching them.

@ML5

Of course someone's partner doesn't need to be there at a 26 mile run. You can't see them. 🙄

Are you the 'friend,' or the husband?

I don't think so, I think she's the 'friend'.

Same. In fact I thank God my DH isn't a runner. The marriage would very likely not last much longer if took up running.

Because runners are boring. They spend a LOT of time talking about running, and practicing for their running, and a lot of time with other runners.

I’m guessing it’s because you’ve started a thread making out she’s a shit wife?

Anyway YABU. I waited for DH to finish a half marathon once. Our kids were little but it was hours out the house on a cold day and it’s pretty boring, all you see them do is run for a it, then go home. Not everyone needs loads of validation from others

First post nails it

In the husband's place, I wouldn't want her to go if it she didn't enjoy the experience. If it were a huge deal, like I were up for a medal in the Olympics, that might be different - but just a local annual marathon, it's fine. And if I DID want her to go, I'd let her know I'd especially appreciate her support in this particular instance - but that would only make sense if I were happy to reciprocate.

I know two male ultramarathoners. Both were divorced by their wives. Our entire friendship group just rolls its collective eyes and says ‘Therapy would be cheaper’ when they set off for another 340 miles through the Arctic where, depending on the conditions, they sometimes need to take a day course in shooting and to carry firearms in case they come across polar bears.

As if you would stand around for 4 hours just on the off chance you might see your DH run past 🤣

Ah, yes I get it.

I used to run and so many people do marathons for a laugh on a Sunday, they aren't necessarily a big thing. London is a bit more special due to the difficulties in getting a place but it's still "only" 26.2 miles.....for some.

Others though need the support. It's a huge challenge for them.

If my hubby was latter I would definitely go. The former...possibly not unless I could wangle a weekend away in London at the same time! I'd watch on TV though.

Staying at home while your partner runs a marathon is a perfectly reasonable decision and might even make the marathon experience less stressful for the runner because they only have to think about their own needs and not about a supporter. There's a whole infrastructure built around looking after the people running on the day.

Amen.
Ditto cycling and Ironman and peak climb challenges.

Dh runs ultra marathons and I don’t even bother going to watch, not even the 250 mile one! I’ve told him if he does Mont Blanc ultra I might come but mainly because I fancy a jolly to Chamonix! 😀