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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friends husband running the marathon tomorrow but she’s not going to watch him

239 replies

ML5 · 26/04/2025 18:45

Just wondering - friends husband is running in the Marathon tomorrow but she’s not attending to watch him as she’s busy at home & even if she does go chances are she won’t be able to see him from the crowds she said. Is this a mean thing to do or AIBU to think that

OP posts:
RawBloomers · 26/04/2025 21:40

BatchCookBabe · 26/04/2025 21:04

Why is the OP so 'concerned' about this though? It has absolutely ZERO to do with her. Unless (as I and some others suspect,) she is the runner - or the runner's partner. I can't imagine why anyone would give a shit about another person not being supported in their running by their partner! Confused

Show quote history

I agree it’s nothing to do with her, though don’t see why she can’t be curious about her reaction.

I very much disagree that “is this the worst thing you have to worry about” is ever a reasonable response on AIBU. AIBU isn’t fit for things that you should be bothered about. The trivial stuff that is not really anything to do with you is its level.

1apenny2apenny · 26/04/2025 21:41

You AIBU - none of your business and you are being judgy. Are you one of those women who follow their men around and praise them all the time for all their activities whilst doing none yourself. Or maybe I’m assuming stuff about you, as you are about your neighbour?

AmberDuckIng · 26/04/2025 21:43

It’s fine, his girlfriend from running club will be there presumably. Grin [notgrin]

Hippee · 26/04/2025 21:43

I have supported DH twice at the London Marathon. Twenty years ago it was fab, last year it was so much busier and more stressful (though I did have three teenagers with me). I would probably still go, just in case he collapsed or something, but I would rather not.

Longma · 26/04/2025 21:44

My dad ran it 4 times when I grew up. We went once to watch. Even back then it was incredibly busy and you see them for such a short period of time, and before they are busy getting sorted too. The other times we supported by watching in TV and trying to spot him in the thousands running.

alphabetcrayons · 26/04/2025 21:45

I’m the runner in our relationship OP and I couldn’t give a monkeys anymore if anyone comes to watch. Perhaps if it was my first ever marathon, fine I’d like him there but these days he enjoys a mornings peace. Everyone is different!

Longma · 26/04/2025 21:47

Cherrytree86 · 26/04/2025 18:50

she doesn’t sound like a good partner. Running a marathon is a huge deal, it’s a massive achievement - if my partner wasn’t supportive of me with it I.e coming to see me pass the finish line I’d genuinely be reconsidering my relationship.

The likelihood of being able to watch someone cross the actual finish line at the London Marathon is incredibly slim!

For my dad, and likely many other runners, the London Marathon also isn’t their first marathon, not if they run regularly.

ThunderStormFan · 26/04/2025 21:47

Having ran it pre-kids and then taking very young dc to watch dh run it, along with watching family members over the years, tbh if he’s going with friends/running club members it’s easier to just support from home, especially if you aren’t a long distance runner. He’ll be limping around, just wanting to chill out etc and unless he’s an elite athlete, the reality is he’ll be a nightmare tonight (not being able to sleep from excitement/ anxiety) and tomorrow he’ll not be able to sleep as he’ll be aching everywhere … dh and I now have an agreement where if we’re long distance racing, we either stay solo in a hotel or sleep in the spare room!

Annettecurtaintwitcher · 26/04/2025 21:47

I rarely watch DH’s races. Lots of waiting around, pushing through crowds, 10 second run past if you’re lucky enough to catch them, waiting around for them to finish, trying to find each other afterwards. Don’t blame her for not going.

BatchCookBabe · 26/04/2025 21:48

RawBloomers · 26/04/2025 21:40

I agree it’s nothing to do with her, though don’t see why she can’t be curious about her reaction.

I very much disagree that “is this the worst thing you have to worry about” is ever a reasonable response on AIBU. AIBU isn’t fit for things that you should be bothered about. The trivial stuff that is not really anything to do with you is its level.

Show quote history

Well yeah, I do find the 'I wish I had your life if this is all you have to worry about' comment a bit daft to be fair. Just because someone is bothered about something trivial, that doesn't mean they haven't got other shit going on in their life.

Jane958 · 26/04/2025 21:56

A marathon is about 26 miles, is it not?
How could she watch the whole thing without running it herself?
She could be there for the start, do off and do other stuff and be there for the finish - some hours later, unless the husband is an elite athlete.
By the way, watching a marathon is not that great, the athletes smell disgusting!

Mere1 · 26/04/2025 21:56

Cherrytree86 · 26/04/2025 18:50

she doesn’t sound like a good partner. Running a marathon is a huge deal, it’s a massive achievement - if my partner wasn’t supportive of me with it I.e coming to see me pass the finish line I’d genuinely be reconsidering my relationship.

I disagree. My husband ran two London marathons and three in other cities. We had young twins and most marathons were more than 150 miles away. He enjoyed the prep and ran for charities. I did care how he was and about his achievements but couldn’t go.

Riaanna · 26/04/2025 21:57

ML5 · 26/04/2025 18:56

What makes you say that

Show quote history

You’ve come on to mumsnet to bash her for no reason.

Travelodge · 26/04/2025 22:01

Watching marathons is very, very tedious. And the person you’re watching out for may well be the other side of the road when they pass you and not see or hear you, and they're past in a couple of seconds. There will be plenty of crowds cheering all the runners on.

dynamiccactus · 26/04/2025 22:02

AmberDuckIng · 26/04/2025 21:43

It’s fine, his girlfriend from running club will be there presumably. Grin [notgrin]

Grin
PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 26/04/2025 22:03

I went to 'watch' my husband run a city marathon. We saw him for about 5 seconds and he didn't see us - we'd said where we'd be and thought we'd chosen a spot that would be sensible for him to spot us, but he was at a point of the race where his brain had essentially switched off from what was going on around him, so he forgot to look out for us. I was needed to drive him home, but I could've just met him after and the benefit would've been exactly the same for him.

ItGhoul · 26/04/2025 22:03

What’s this got to do with you? Why do you assume her husband is bothered?

This is such a non-issue to be devoting even a moment’s thought to.

SheridansPortSalut · 26/04/2025 22:10

The kids and I went to support Dh. Huge mistake. Never again. It wasn't easy with the crowds and the traffic and trying to figure out what time to be at various spots along the route. We were all cheering at the finish line but he wasn't happy with his time and was a grumpy, irritable, pain in the arse at the finish and all the way home. It was a miserable day.

ItGhoul · 26/04/2025 22:10

Cherrytree86 · 26/04/2025 18:50

she doesn’t sound like a good partner. Running a marathon is a huge deal, it’s a massive achievement - if my partner wasn’t supportive of me with it I.e coming to see me pass the finish line I’d genuinely be reconsidering my relationship.

Just because you’d want your partner there, that doesn’t mean everyone does. Plenty of runners wouldn’t be bothered, and the OP’s friend’s husband might be one of them.

LondonFox · 26/04/2025 22:11

ML5 · 26/04/2025 18:45

Just wondering - friends husband is running in the Marathon tomorrow but she’s not attending to watch him as she’s busy at home & even if she does go chances are she won’t be able to see him from the crowds she said. Is this a mean thing to do or AIBU to think that

Maybe you should go and cheer for him if you are so obsessed with what a DH of your friend does?
Guess she will start a MN thread in a year

TheFormidableMrsC · 26/04/2025 22:13

There is literally no point. I went one year to support a friend. Didn’t see them at all. Couldn’t find them after. Complete waste of time. I don’t blame her, she can cheer him on remotely.

AF77 · 26/04/2025 22:18

I race a lot - 10k, half mara, mara, ultra & my husband & children (8 & 11) never come to watch. It's boring for them. They'd be forever stressing about whether they'd actually see me. I'd be stressing about if I'm going to see them (rather than focusing on my run). My running club are my running family. We either run or spectate lots of races together!

Tbrh · 26/04/2025 22:24

2024onwardsandup · 26/04/2025 18:45

It could not be less of your business

First post nails it as usual

HeyCooper · 26/04/2025 22:25

She’s probably got stuff to do, just like he’s got stuff to do, what’s the big deal

QuickPeachPoet · 26/04/2025 22:27

My boyfriend and I are both runners. I am also a swimmer. We both agree that if either is in an event that the other isn't doing there is zero pressure to go. It is so so boring to stand about for ages to see someone jog past for 10 seconds.
We just celebrate / commiserate afterwards.