To feel lied to about the menopause

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I’m struggling hideously, cry at the drop of a hat and want to scream with frustration.

Why does no one tell you this.

I remember clear as day being told at school that one day when you’re about 50 your periods will stop. Fantastic I thought one day this hell of monthly inconvenience will cease. And cease it did, brilliant. But then. The past three years have been the worse years of my life.

I tried HRT and it didn’t seem to help, it made me irritable and experience anxiety that was difficult for me to cope with. That was a year ago. I’m now in the same place. Someone please tell me it gets better.

Davina, Trinny etc have spoken about no HRT in meno meaning accelerated ageing & inevitable atrophy compared to those older women who have an oestrogen ‘youth’ boost.

As great as the pill is, I think it's been used as a catch-all for any hormonal problem meaning nothing is done to develop other treatments for the specific problems.

Absolutely this. After my youngest daughter was born, I had very low ferritin combined with the start of perimenopause (or possibly just low hormones postpartum).

The combined experience of low ferritin and lower hormones was horrendous, and i truly felt like I was at rock bottom. It definitely got better with iron supplements.

Yes, I can remember even back as far as the seventies when I was in my teens, that women were complaining of hot flushes and all the other problems associated with the menopause. The introduction of HRT has made things much easier for some women.

Postmenopausal, one of my main problems is being very dry underneath, so a lovely nurse told me to just wash that area with warm water and not to use any soap. That has helped tremendously! No more use of copious amounts of Vagisil!

You can use vaginal oestrogen to prevent VA/GSM. In fact, around 50% of women on systemic HRT still need vaginal oestrogen to relieve GSM symptoms.

I am not on systemic HRT and have not experienced any accelerated ageing. I am also not chock full of fillers.

Not necessarily - my MIL is 81 and still taking HRT. There is increasing discussion about HRT for life for some women as the loss of hormones can be so debilitating.

Hear you, I fear withering cronedom. Does HRT though effectively delay your reproductive/internal ageing & therefore is a boost to bone health plus?

I think a healthy diet and lifestyle has more effect on internal and external ageing. Maintaining a healthy weight and getting a reasonable amount of daily exercise is a boost to both bone health and to healthy ageing. Being a low weight is a known risk factor for osteopenia and osteoporosis.

I don't think HRT can be said to delay internal ageing, but it does help many with distressing vasomotor symptoms of menopause, and some women feel very well on it. Others not so much.

True but we can’t argue that loss of oestrogen after/in meno contributes to skin ageing & bodily decline.

I'm over 20 years in and still not out the other side (my username seems rather appropriate for this thread). The hot flushes came back again with a vengeance last week. The slightest thing enrages me. It's not as bad as my periods were though - 25% of every month was sheer unmitigated torture. They do say though, that if you had really bad periods you tend to get a rotten menopause as well.

Bastard hormones.

I'm not sure what you're saying.

I have no bodily decline, and in fact am thriving post menopause.

Bit late to the convo OP but did you go back to your GP when you found HRT wasn’t helping? It could be a dosing issue and also what combination of HRT you had. Testosterone can help some women. In your shoes, I’d go back. You mentioned you want to exercise more, this helps me as I’m late peri myself. I notice a difference with diet also. When I’m eating healthily my symptoms are reduced. Finally, mindfulness is important and will help you mentally. I recently started a weekly yoga class and it’s the best thing ever. Good luck op x

This is what I'm interested in it would have been nice to have some idea going in.

As it happened my hunch was right - my periods weren't too bad and menopause hasn't been horrendous - I'm not on hrt, just the vaginal pessaries. The extra weight is a pain especially as I was pretty skinny.

But I was a very horny teen and libido going was one of my first peri symptoms. Peri was worse in some ways cos of occasional flooding periods for years.

In contrast I wasn’t interested in sex as a teen, 20s could live without it, but it has grown from 30s post children and now raging in my 40s

I was another who just had hot flushes & then it was all done. BUT - years later - my hair has got SO greasy, abnormally so. GP gave me harsh shampoo that just ruined my hair. It seems hormonal to me.. anyone else had this, please?

"I have no bodily decline"

This is not possible. All our bodies decline as we age.

I was responding to this:

True but we can’t argue that loss of oestrogen after/in meno contributes to skin ageing & bodily decline.

My skin is holding up well. My body is functioning as well as it ever has. There is really very little difference in my body now, except I am not in pain.

I think people overestimate the natural reduction in oestrogen as causative in ageing, and underestimate the role of diet and exercise etc. I think, illness aside, may people age prematurely out of simple disuse.

With regard to oestrogen, it is not as if the ovaries totally give up the ghost, as it was once thought. Also, many women are far too thin at fifty plus and have little circulating oestrogen as a result, and oestrogen is also synthesised by the adrenals I believe; and of course many women have no stress relief practices and use up any useful hormones that can be made into oestrogens in this post-menopause time.

"many women are far too thin at fifty plus and have little circulating oestrogen as a result"

Are you in Hollywood or something? I don't know anybody I can easily think of who's skinny or even slim at 60.
What about women who no longer have one or both ovaries? I guess the decline is more dramatic than with a natural menopause?

Possibly because there’s been so much information in recent years that not knowing the menopause can be tough is a bit unlikely? It’s talked about loads now.

Are you in Hollywood or something? I don't know anybody I can easily think of who's skinny or even slim at 60.

I have no wish to argue with you on this topic. MN is full of size 8 women. Many of whom are on the menopause board, and can answer your other questions.

Yes instant menopause if you have them both taken out.

@LucyMonth late to this post but noted you mention using a collagen that's research backed. Would you mind sharing what you use. I've googled and googled and end up just more confused than when I started? TIA

Permanently I think. It’s ten years since my last period and I still get PMT nightmares and anxiety.