To feel a bit embarrassed about my glow up?

[Donttalkaboutit]

I know this will sound very silly!
So over the past decade, my thirties, I've been having babies, breastfeeding, sleepless nights etc etc. I've been carrying excess weight and been dressing to hide my shape. My hair was dull and straggly and I just looked tired and (sorry to use the word!) 'Frumpy'.

Anyway, I'm now 40 and I have lost lots of weight, got my hair cut and highlighted and started wearing make up and stylish clothes. I look 100 x better.

Now when I meet people I haven't seen in a while they are shocked and tell me how much different I look, how young I look, how trendy I am and will comment all good things but inside it just makes me think I must have looked a state before!

I do actually think that I'm looking better than I ever did (!) and am just struggling with all of these compliments even though I know I should be really glad of them! I see.myself in the mirror and can't believe it's me and then get all self conscious when people say I look nice. I'm ve4y, very gracious of the compliments and always say thank you but inside I feel a bit silly or something??
Aibu to feel like this or is this normal?

You must look super great, don’t sweat it. Having young kids takes its toll on your body in many way and you’ve addressed many of them and people are noticing how lovely you look.

It's normal ime (as a yoyo dieter), and why I never comment on someone's weight.

Some people, like me, just want to blend in and not be noticed and not have their appearance commented on! It makes me feel uncomfortable too.

But try not to take it as you looked awful before, it's just a change eg. The haircut, which they are saying suits you.

It's also probably because you are feeling better about yourself so carrying yourself with more confidence

It’s normal for some people to feel awkward at compliments.

I think you’re over thinking it.

Don't feel silly!

Just laugh and say, 'The sleepless nights used to take their toll, I'm afraid'.

Glad you are looking and feeling good!

Well done for giving yourself a glow up. I love that you're feeling so much more confident in yourself.
Embrace the compliments and enjoy your refreshed look!

well, you say you were "frumpy" and had a "glow up" - so take the compliments I would say

I agree. Have a stock response for when someone compliments you so that you don't even have to think about it. X

I lost a load of weight in my mid 40s. Struggled to accept compliments. Had a couple of romances, but whilst I enjoyed the attention I felt a bit put out because the exterior might have changed but I was essentially the same person. For compliments a simple thank you is probably best. Not easy i know.

why would you be embarrassed? you are very obviously making an effort (clothes, make-up..) and obviously you look better.

People are just trying to be nice. It's not just the weight, it's the whole picture.

Just laugh and say, 'The sleepless nights used to take their toll, I'm afraid'. is the perfect answer.

Don't be embarrassed- take the compliments and feel good about yourself!
(Also if you have any tips as to how you achieved said 'glow up' I would genuinely love to hear them.)

Are you embarrassed for you now, or is it embarrassment for old you.

I can see why it would be tough, by commenting about how good you look now, you can’t help but think “they must have thought I looked terrible before” it’s acknowledging they did notice the before.

But it won’t be long, people will get used to the new you.

Fatastic! Hoover up the compliments. Even if you're here fishing, then you deserve to fish because it can be really hard to glow up.

Share some of your secrets with us all?!

It was just a nice comment. Most women feel exhausted after having children and running around after them at first.

Normal. I got a bit fat aged 18, then started running. So many comments just made me feel like I'd been an absolute whale before. No option other than to just own it and enjoy having the space in your life to look after yourself in this way now.

Edit to add: And give past-you loads of love. You were busy dedicating your body and life to your children!

One point for stealth boast, deducted for using the stupid term glow up.

I used to run a kids’ holiday club, preschoolers. Parents would come looking ragged and knackered.
Their kids would age out and I’d see them around and they’d be bouncy and bright eyed! Having toddlers is exhausting. It’s nice to reclaim yourself as they grow up.

It's not stealth. I do look great.

Totally get it. I used to be slim and attractive. I put on a lot of weight quite quickly when I went on HRT. Most of the people at my current work only know the bigger me. I recently lost over 5 stone and am back in my old clothes. This feels like me as I was this size most of my adult life. But everyone is acting shocked and commenting all the time at work about my ‘new’ clothes (most of them are my old clothes I can fit into) and how well I look (I was always well, just fatter). I want to be pleased with the complements but they embarrass me and annoy me to be honest. I just keep thinking I am the same as I always was, the weight gain was a temporary thing. But either way I am still the same person.

Noooo enjoy yourself. Do it for the rest of us who are still in the trenches of tiny children and don’t have the energy!

Yep I think that I feel a bit embarrassed about what I did look like. I kind of really neglected myself and sometimes my roots would by down to my ears and I'd be wearing clothes with holes in them and mismatched, baggy clothes, the big cardigans and maxi/midi dresses. I also had acne which has cleared up and I feel a bit cringey about what i was like. I don't know why. I know people are being nice but it makes me feel a bit ashamed about how much I lost touch with myself. I know that sounds really silly. For some reason when people say 'you look much younger' that makes me feel the most embarrassed.

I'm popping out now but will be back with some of the things I did for those who asked.

I love this response OP 👏

I get where you're coming from regarding thinking you must have been a state before etc but try and shrug it off and own your glow up. When people compliment you or say wow you've changed etc simply say thanks. If it's a longer conversation then be honest and say you've worked hard to feel your best etc and can't believe how good you now feel. Just own it!

They will soon get used the new you and your current appearance will become the new norm, you will just be ‘you’ again, a bit like when everyone comments on a tan after being on holiday or going from long hair to short, it’s the initial change they are complimenting you on, soon the comments will dry up just give it time.

There is nothing wrong with self improvement. You've done such a good job of it people noticed. Their compliment is reward for the effort you've put in. Birthing and raising young children is hard on our bodies and leaves us with little time for ourselves. Self care sets a good example for your kids too.

@Donttalkaboutit Just learn to enjoy and accept the compliments.

It's much better than being called "ugly," which I have been on the receiving end of numerous times.

I’m on the road to where you are OP. Lost about 20kg since dec (still just obese by BMI!) and starting to wear makeup for the first time in my life aged 39. Someone at work came up to me this week and said I had lost loads of weight - loads, esp my legs. It made me feel really self conscious and worried about how I used to look. I just said “I’m going through a really messy divorce”. This is true, but also I am eating better, exercising regularly and have started Mounjaro.

No one else has commented - friends family etc. Just regular compliments eg you look well etc. it’s a hard one: I want the change to be visible and invisible at the same time. Well done for the hard work inside and out!