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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Meal Drama over £2

291 replies

Nightlightonplease2025 · 25/04/2025 21:16

My cousin invited myself and two other women out for a 'taster meal session.' I accepted right away. Another declined and the other woman my good friend stated she would come along. Today was the day of the meal and my friend came with her 18 year old daughter. We all sat together in a group of 4. When asked by the waitress regarding still and sparkling water, my cousin stated still. The waitress came back and poured the water into all 4 glasses. At some point during the meal my cousin went to drink some water and she noticed a lipstick stain, it seems my friend had drank from her glass and her own by mistake, it didn't seem like much, it seemed like only a few sips from the glasses as the majority of water was still in the glasses. My cousin asked for a new glass and my friend started to drink out of her own personal water bottle and didn't drink again from the glasses. My friends daughter also drank the still water.

My cousin asked for more water and I drew her attention to the fact she said still at first and did she mean it, she stated no and said she had meant tap. The waitress came back with more water and started to pour it into the glasses, my friend stopped her stating she didn't drink tap water. We continued on with the meal and had a great meal, ordering drinks etc. I believe my cousin asked for the bill and then my friend and daughter said they needed to go to the bathroom. The bill came before they left to the bathroom. The waiter stood waiting and my cousin asked if he could come back later, we did also mention the two other guests were in the toilet as he thought they had left for some reason. I added my bill up and my cousin added her bill up and I asked about the water as I noticed she had attributed a quarter of it. She stated everyone drank from it. I said okay and added a quarter onto my bill. The waiter came back and asked if we were paying now, I think it had been around six minutes since he had been at our table. My cousin paid and then asked are you paying and the waiter came over to me and asked how much I was paying, so I told him my portion and paid.

My friend and her daughter came back and sat down. As she was looking at the bill I tried to explain it to her twice and she looked annoyed and said yes yes, I know. As a discount on the bill had not been clear, I had wanted to explain it. I couldn't even explain to her that the water had been split 4 ways. She called the waiter over to pay and I asked her how much she was paying and she stated £94 and I stated the balance was £96. She looked visibly upset and said why was she paying for the water and if she was it was suppose to be split 3 ways not 4. To tell you the truth I couldn't really understand this argument. So I said her daughter was 18 and should be included in any split. Anyways she paid but was not happy. About 5 minutes after she left I got a text saying she was annoyed and other things, and that annoyed me. My cousin said I will pay her the two pounds give me her account details, but I didn't as I thought that might upset her more, so I texted her saying my cousin would pay, could she pass on her details.

So who is being unreasonable? My cousin or friend? To be fair its such a stupid fight and over £2. It boggles the mind.

I think my cousin should have paid for the water, but we shouldn't have drank any if we weren't prepared to pay towards it, regardless, if the waitress poured us a glass or not.

Also my friend believes we were a bit rude to pay without her and my cousin feels she was a bit rude to go to the bathroom before settling her bill as the bill came before she left, and she wasn't bursting to use it, she was just going to have a try because she had a long journey afterwards. My cousin thinks she could have tried after the meal, as we could have all sat and discussed the bill then.

OP posts:
healthybychristmas · 26/04/2025 06:36

When you say treating the 18-year-old like a child do you mean everyone else should've paid for her? She just turned up for the meal, she wasn't invited by anyone. Why would anyone pay for her except her own mother?

BeatrizBoniface · 26/04/2025 06:36

BadLad · 26/04/2025 01:54

my cousin feels she was a bit rude to go to the bathroom before settling her bill as the bill came before she left, and she wasn't bursting to use it, she was just going to have a try because she had a long journey afterwards. My cousin thinks she could have tried after the meal, as we could have all sat and discussed the bill then.

The conversation actually turned to levels of desperation for needing a piss?

Ye gods these are strange people.

LittleBigHead · 26/04/2025 06:43

Your friend was extraordinarily mean & penny pinching. She shunned your cousin's hospitality and quibbled over water and TWO pounds! And expected that her 18 year old daughter would be treated by you and your cousin. And then followed up with a passive-aggressive text, complaining again.

If a friend of mine behaved like this, showing herself to be so mean & petty, I'd be distancing myself.

LittleBigHead · 26/04/2025 06:45

Nightlightonplease2025 · 25/04/2025 21:44

We didn't leave any tip. I always leave a tip but friend and cousin, don't really leave tips, its rare they do. I was just too flustered and wanted to leave after receiving that text.

Ugh, both of them are mean and penny-pinching.

I can't abide that sort of behaviour. If you can afford to pay £40 for a meal, you can afford a £4 tip.

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 26/04/2025 06:46

Bringing a water bottle and going to the toilet with your coat is an issue. It’s CF territory.
I think your friend had no intention of paying for anything.
Your cousin sounds fine she’s worth ten of your friend.

preimenopauserulesmylife · 26/04/2025 06:47

It blows my mind how people can turn such petty insignificant things into a major drama.
I was expecting it to end in a water fight.

Roxie99 · 26/04/2025 06:51

This made me laugh 🤣 but I can see how it was a "drama". I would just pay the £2 to your annoyed friend but don't order water ever again haha

CaptainFuture · 26/04/2025 06:51

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 26/04/2025 06:46

Bringing a water bottle and going to the toilet with your coat is an issue. It’s CF territory.
I think your friend had no intention of paying for anything.
Your cousin sounds fine she’s worth ten of your friend.

This, probably planned to come back from loo with bill paid, ready to uter insincere....'ooo you shouldn't have!! How kind!!'😆

Newtrix · 26/04/2025 06:51

CaptainFuture · 26/04/2025 06:32

Even so, why would anyone but their own parent pay their 'childs' bill?!

When we go out we just split the bill by adults. We go out regularly with our friends and it all evens out in the end.

Kisskiss · 26/04/2025 06:52

I had something like this happen when i went for dinner with a group of girlfriends and invited someone I was close to but that they didn’t know well.
the new girl who is strongheaded had a fight over the bill with another girl who is also strongheaded. Both ordinarily very lovely but whom somehow managed to run each other the wrong way that night.
In just never arranged anything with both present again

LimitedBrightSpots · 26/04/2025 07:12

Nightlightonplease2025 · 25/04/2025 21:44

We didn't leave any tip. I always leave a tip but friend and cousin, don't really leave tips, its rare they do. I was just too flustered and wanted to leave after receiving that text.

They sound tight as. I'd leave them to their fuss and tell them you want no part of it.

Silvertulips · 26/04/2025 07:17

I think sometimes it's simple things that cause the biggest fall outs

It Probabaly a build up of expectations. They expected you to pay, you didn’t, she changed it to splitting to 1/3 each for her DD, it didn’t happen, so she picked up the £2 and ran with that.

You don’t need to worry about it - you seem like a people pleaser pushover and she’s Probabaly annoyed she didn’t manipulate you like she usually does because your friend was there talking reason.

If she want to be upset - let her - you did everything right.

FamilyPhoto · 26/04/2025 07:22

Sounds like your friend was annoyed that you and your cousin wouldn't split the bill by 3 and she had to pay for her daughter. She couldnt actually say that without sounding like a CF so made a fuss over the £2.
Im with your cousin .

LimitedBrightSpots · 26/04/2025 07:23

I had a friend who turned up to another friend's moving away meal with her 9yo DC. She'd meant to be coming to the whole meal but her husband (I suspect controlling - they've since split) had let her down at the last minute and claimed he had to stay late at work so she had no babysitter. So she came for a drink just to say hi and her DC (who had already eaten) had an ice cream. They left after the starters.

We were very happy to cover the cost of their items and said, don't worry about it, but no way would I be splitting a £40 set menu for an 18yo who didn't have to come.

Arancia · 26/04/2025 07:24

Your friend sounds rude and annoying. You don't go to the toilet when you know the bill is about to be settled, delaying everyone. It also looks like you're trying to avoid paying.

If you accept water being poured into your glass, and you drink it, you share the cost of water.

If your child eats and drinks, you pay for them. Doesn't matter if they are 8 or 18.

CaptainFuture · 26/04/2025 07:25

Newtrix · 26/04/2025 06:51

When we go out we just split the bill by adults. We go out regularly with our friends and it all evens out in the end.

So if you and 2 other adults went out with a third, who turned up with a 13, 15 and 17 yo... you'd add their food/drinks to the bill and split between 4?

Nina1013 · 26/04/2025 07:26

I don’t understand any of this.

We went out last week. Family of 5, vs our family of 3. They all got ‘proper’ soft drinks, we all drank the free jug of tap water (just personal choice). The kids all ate adult meals but our daughter’s was quite a bit cheaper.

We split the bill in 2 and had had a lovely time. Friend made a comment about how it costs us money to dine with them (it does) and we all laughed and went on our merry way.

We all appreciate the privileged position we are in, to be able to do that and not worry about it. It would be completely different if we couldn’t afford to (we have been there too) - note they can also more than afford to pay their way, it’s just our preference to go straight down the middle.

I’m on the fence with her daughter I guess….if she is a ‘family friend child’ even at 18 I think we would just split the bill among friends. Again because we can afford to? I’m
not sure now, it’s got me thinking. I might start taking my adult daughter out for meals just with this one friend when she’s 18, and over a few years might get back all the money I’ve overpaid if we split her cost…

I am, of course kidding. Because we are friends and we all love each other’s company. I just can’t understand any of your post. It’s £2.

The tip alone should have been £5pp at least, so actually they short paid rather than overpaid….

Nina1013 · 26/04/2025 07:27

CaptainFuture · 26/04/2025 07:25

So if you and 2 other adults went out with a third, who turned up with a 13, 15 and 17 yo... you'd add their food/drinks to the bill and split between 4?

We basically do this, yes.

Younger children (but not young children) who eat as much as the adults.

ForestFox44 · 26/04/2025 07:29

🤣🤣🤣 christ alive it's £2 who needs friends like this 🫠

Londonrach1 · 26/04/2025 07:30

Split the bill four ways. Its water!

WorkCleanRepeat · 26/04/2025 07:32

This is ridiculous over £2. Your friend is being an idiot.

TheSpoonyNavyReader · 26/04/2025 07:42

Fuck me, your cousin went through a bill and would not pay an extra £2 for some water as a mistake had happened.

I hate it when people go through bills like this, it’s embarrassing and petty.

What did the 18 year old eat and drink.

RosesAndHellebores · 26/04/2025 07:57

FFS. I'd have paid the £2 for the water on her behalf and shut down all of this nonsense. I also wouldn't go out with either if them again. They need their heads banging together.

HermoineFairfax · 26/04/2025 08:07

If it was me, I'd have paid the £2 to halt the quibbling and made a joke of next time the drinks are on you Cuz/Mate.

FarmGirl78 · 26/04/2025 08:11

I've used more than £2's worth of consumed foods energy reading that post!! You're just as bad as her. What has 6 minutes got to do with anything? What has people in the bathroom got to do with anything? All it brings to mind is that "Ain't nobody got time for dat" meme.

Next time I think I'm ever boring anyone I'm going to remember this post and remind myself it could be far worse.

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