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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Meal Drama over £2

291 replies

Nightlightonplease2025 · 25/04/2025 21:16

My cousin invited myself and two other women out for a 'taster meal session.' I accepted right away. Another declined and the other woman my good friend stated she would come along. Today was the day of the meal and my friend came with her 18 year old daughter. We all sat together in a group of 4. When asked by the waitress regarding still and sparkling water, my cousin stated still. The waitress came back and poured the water into all 4 glasses. At some point during the meal my cousin went to drink some water and she noticed a lipstick stain, it seems my friend had drank from her glass and her own by mistake, it didn't seem like much, it seemed like only a few sips from the glasses as the majority of water was still in the glasses. My cousin asked for a new glass and my friend started to drink out of her own personal water bottle and didn't drink again from the glasses. My friends daughter also drank the still water.

My cousin asked for more water and I drew her attention to the fact she said still at first and did she mean it, she stated no and said she had meant tap. The waitress came back with more water and started to pour it into the glasses, my friend stopped her stating she didn't drink tap water. We continued on with the meal and had a great meal, ordering drinks etc. I believe my cousin asked for the bill and then my friend and daughter said they needed to go to the bathroom. The bill came before they left to the bathroom. The waiter stood waiting and my cousin asked if he could come back later, we did also mention the two other guests were in the toilet as he thought they had left for some reason. I added my bill up and my cousin added her bill up and I asked about the water as I noticed she had attributed a quarter of it. She stated everyone drank from it. I said okay and added a quarter onto my bill. The waiter came back and asked if we were paying now, I think it had been around six minutes since he had been at our table. My cousin paid and then asked are you paying and the waiter came over to me and asked how much I was paying, so I told him my portion and paid.

My friend and her daughter came back and sat down. As she was looking at the bill I tried to explain it to her twice and she looked annoyed and said yes yes, I know. As a discount on the bill had not been clear, I had wanted to explain it. I couldn't even explain to her that the water had been split 4 ways. She called the waiter over to pay and I asked her how much she was paying and she stated £94 and I stated the balance was £96. She looked visibly upset and said why was she paying for the water and if she was it was suppose to be split 3 ways not 4. To tell you the truth I couldn't really understand this argument. So I said her daughter was 18 and should be included in any split. Anyways she paid but was not happy. About 5 minutes after she left I got a text saying she was annoyed and other things, and that annoyed me. My cousin said I will pay her the two pounds give me her account details, but I didn't as I thought that might upset her more, so I texted her saying my cousin would pay, could she pass on her details.

So who is being unreasonable? My cousin or friend? To be fair its such a stupid fight and over £2. It boggles the mind.

I think my cousin should have paid for the water, but we shouldn't have drank any if we weren't prepared to pay towards it, regardless, if the waitress poured us a glass or not.

Also my friend believes we were a bit rude to pay without her and my cousin feels she was a bit rude to go to the bathroom before settling her bill as the bill came before she left, and she wasn't bursting to use it, she was just going to have a try because she had a long journey afterwards. My cousin thinks she could have tried after the meal, as we could have all sat and discussed the bill then.

OP posts:
06230villefrancesurmer · 26/04/2025 19:02

NotEntirelySerious · 25/04/2025 22:39

All this drama over a bottle of Peckham Spring. 😂

👍 brilliant

UnstableMonkey · 26/04/2025 19:04

Hoohaz · 26/04/2025 08:15

Your cousin is in the wrong here:

1- still water arrives and she drinks it and drinks from cousin's glass leaving lipstick and causing cousin to have to order more water. If she hadn't done this, cousin would not have ordered more water and it wouldn't be an issue.

2- she drank the still water but declined the tap water. This is proof that she values one type of water above the other, and as she drank the one that costs money, she is accepting that there is a price to pay for that.

3- bill arrives and she leaves the table before paying? Who does this? Was she hoping you/cousin would pay for her so she could pay back (or forget to pay back) at a later time?

4- she causes such a dramatic scene over having to pay her share of a bill. £2 extra when the bill is £10 might be a bit annoying, but £2 on a £96 bill is not worth worrying about in the slightest!

5- You are all being unreasonable not to tip. £94 vs £96... it would have been so easy for you all to just round up to £100 (it wouldn't be a great tip considering the cost of the meal, but it would have avoided all this unnecessary drama!)

If I was your cousin, I would also think the water should be split. I would certainly begrudge having to pay £8 for water when not only did everyone drink it, but they also drank from my glass causing me to order more!

AI reply?

MoonWoman69 · 26/04/2025 19:13

There are so many inconsistencies in this story, I don't actually quite believe it!
My main one is that your cousin and your friend are both tight, down to the last bit of penny pinching, yet your friend is lovely and treats you often?! Hmm...
There's an odd dynamic going on here between all of you. And yes, the bill should have been split 4 ways, an 18 year old is an adult.
I'd like to know how the initial arrangements were worded? Did you say to your friend "My cousin would like you to join us for a meal" or was it "My cousin and I are going for a meal, would you like to come too, the cost will be so and so?" The wording of the initial invitation would be the crucial piece of evidence in this charade! Especially as they both buggered off to the toilet with their bags and coats and spent ages in there! Was your friend under the impression that her and her daughter had been invited out and weren't expected to pay? Vital information I'd say!

I actually think you're at fault here for being a complete wishy-washy peace keeper, instead of calling your cousin and your friend out at the time! There's no way I'd have put up with that petty shite, even after a nice meal! I'm not bolshy or overly assertive, but I'm not a walk over either!
There's no way I'd be going for a meal with any of you!
There's so much more to say, but to be fair, my head hurts after trying to work all this bizarre situation out!

catlover123456789 · 26/04/2025 19:23

All this over £2!!!

laraitopbanana · 26/04/2025 19:25

I think you shouldn’t have other meals together.

TheHerboriste · 26/04/2025 19:31

Why not ask for separate bills to begin with?
That poor waiter probably needs a drink.

CurlewKate · 26/04/2025 19:37

Can’t stand Bistromathics.

croydon15 · 26/04/2025 19:46

I would not go out for a meal with her again, too mean, doesn't want to pay for the water or leave a tip, mean fucker.

Hoohaz · 26/04/2025 19:52

UnstableMonkey · 26/04/2025 19:04

AI reply?

😂 No, just a very analytical brain and a lover of lists!

Iceandfire92 · 26/04/2025 19:54

Pibrea · 25/04/2025 23:53

Please Google how to correctly use the word ‘myself’.

Agreed, why have people started misusing "myself" and "yourself" in the manner OP has? I've heard many reality TV thickos speaking in this manner so I can only assume it's following some kind of trend.

UnstableMonkey · 26/04/2025 20:02

Hoohaz · 26/04/2025 19:52

😂 No, just a very analytical brain and a lover of lists!

I bet you have a neat hand writing! 😂

CoastalCalm · 26/04/2025 20:03

I wouldn’t go out again with someone who doesn’t leave a tip , quibbling over £2 is ridiculous between friends in any circumstances

Jk987 · 26/04/2025 20:16

Good God.

And you didn’t even tip.

Crunchymum · 26/04/2025 20:24

Nightlightonplease2025 · 25/04/2025 21:40

It was a set menu price of £40 per person. We split the bill 4 ways. But my friend wanted the water split 3 ways I believe.

How an Earth did a set menu of £40 have you all paying £90+ ??? 😮

Even 3 ways the £94 / £96 each doesn't add up.

I'm confused!!

Hoohaz · 26/04/2025 20:24

UnstableMonkey · 26/04/2025 19:04

AI reply?

Out of curiosity, I've just posted the OP into chatgpt.com. It agrees with me 😉

ChatGPT said:
Thanks for sharing such a detailed breakdown — it does sound like a small issue that spiraled into unnecessary tension. Based on what you've described, here’s a breakdown of how things seem from a neutral point of view:
1. Water Situation
• Your cousin asked for still water, which usually implies bottled water in restaurants and typically isn’t free.
• Since the waitress poured it for everyone, it makes sense the bill would split it equally, especially since your friend’s daughter drank some and your friend had a sip or two (even if mistakenly).
• Your friend's objection to paying for water she didn’t knowingly drink much of is understandable in some contexts — but given she did drink some and her daughter drank too, the 4-way split wasn’t unreasonable.
• The argument over whether the daughter should be included is weak — 18 is an adult, she ate and drank with you, so it’s fair to split costs four ways unless agreed otherwise beforehand.
2. Paying Before She Returned
• It’s typical courtesy to wait for everyone before paying, but only if it doesn't cause a delay.
• In this case, the waiter was waiting, and your cousin had already asked him to come back once. It’s not rude to start settling the bill if someone stepped away, especially when they said they were just trying the bathroom (not an urgent dash).
• Your cousin’s view — that it could’ve waited 5 minutes more — is fair too, but when a restaurant is clearly trying to turn over the table, it's also fair to just pay and not hold things up.
3. Your Friend’s Reaction
• She may have felt excluded or blindsided, especially if she didn’t get a clear say before the bill was split.
• However, her visible annoyance, the snappy "yes yes, I know," and texting complaints after the meal suggests a bigger emotional reaction than the situation really calls for.
• Her expectation to split the water 3 ways while also excluding her daughter doesn’t quite hold up logically.
4. Overall
• No one was dramatically wrong, but your friend overreacted, and your cousin could’ve been clearer or just covered the water to avoid fuss over a minor cost.
• The best takeaway is what you already seem to know: it's a silly situation to fall out over, and a little communication and grace would’ve smoothed everything.
Do you think this situation has strained your friendship, or is it something that’ll pass soon?
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fetchacloth · 26/04/2025 20:35

Hercisback1 · 25/04/2025 21:26

Who cares?

I can't believe this is even a discussion.

Splitting the bill into 4 seems fairest.

Agreed. This would have been the simplest conclusion.

Blondeshavemorefun · 26/04/2025 20:40

head Explodes after reading op

i will pay £2 😂

fetchacloth · 26/04/2025 20:40

MadCattery · 25/04/2025 21:49

American here. I know we aren't too popular on MN. But, it is so, so normal to say, right at the start while ordering, "Separate checks, please. " and with the mother/daughter, to add "those two are together". It's so normal that if we forget to ask, the server will ask at the end of the meal.

I agree, in fact I have done that before when out in a mixed group as it saves a lot of misunderstanding at the end. Some restaurants here already offer this option, but if not offered, I ask.

latetothefisting · 26/04/2025 20:50

Crunchymum · 26/04/2025 20:24

How an Earth did a set menu of £40 have you all paying £90+ ??? 😮

Even 3 ways the £94 / £96 each doesn't add up.

I'm confused!!

Edited

they didn't all pay £90plus, only toilet-hiding friend, because she was (resentfully) paying for her and her daughter while the others paid only for themselves.
OP and her cousin paid for theirs while friend and dd were in the loo, the £96 was what was left to pay.
£80 for their 2 meals
£16 for her 2 wines, her dd's coffee and their half of the £5 water.
OP did explain this in one of their subsequent posts.

CaptainFuture · 26/04/2025 21:00

Exactly @latetothefisting cf friend obviously in a strop as she and her adult dd had bizarre thought her bill would be paid for by other people!
Wonder if I could tag on to my mum and her friends and get them to pay for me!!

JJMama · 26/04/2025 21:08

Are you all 15?! Seriously, this is the sort of nonsense I hear from the children I work with that age! Petty nonsense about who did what to whom!

Your friends and family all need to get over themselves and grow up; weird behaviour in adults!

How do they deal with actual issues in life?!

Growlybear83 · 26/04/2025 21:18

I think you’re all being ridiculous not to just split the bill four ways, regardless of who had what. I can’t believe that you seriously added up the cost of what you each ate 😳

ThistleTits · 26/04/2025 21:58

Nightlightonplease2025 · 25/04/2025 21:26

We all knew the meal would be expensive. I'm not sure if she was upset about the £2 or if we were treating her daughter as an adult.

Did the 18 year old eat like an adult? Then she should pay as an adult. I'd just have paid the £2.00, no matter who drank the bloody water.

Beautifulweeds · 26/04/2025 22:29

Maybe she expected it to be split 3 ways, which would of course be unfair.

Grammarnut · 26/04/2025 22:36

4 way split. 18 year old is an adult. Probably not extortionate price if it was a taster meal.