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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Child's friend parent on sexual offender register

783 replies

springisspringing1 · 24/04/2025 13:57

I live in a smallish town - only one primary school and only one class per year. My DC is in reception. One of the children's fathers was found guilty of looking at child sex photographs and online grooming of a young teen girl. He is on the sexual offender register. The mother has retained a close relationship with the father (they may still be together - I don't know her well enough). We have kids' birthday parties all the time and eg when she hosts one, the father is likely to be there. I don't want my children near this man. I just don't. I think she's keen for him to be reintegrated into the (quite small) community. AIBU is, I suppose, to make it clear I don't want him to bring their child to my child's party? (I will just make an excuse for their party). Also - is this unfair on my child's friend (who is obviously only 4 too). This is not something that is going to go away -- and want to work out how to manage it now. Please be kind - I absolutely know it is not the mother or the child's fault.

OP posts:
Jadedpersuaded · 16/08/2025 23:24

Praying4Peace · 24/04/2025 14:03

Yabu
Not sure why you don't want child's dad bringing them to your child's party?
He won't ever be alone with your child.
Your child isn't at risk so for the sake of everyone's wellbeing, you need to support opportunities to allow man to be reintegrated, without putting anymore at risk

Absolute nonsense.

Reintegration for what?

Coffeetime25 · 16/08/2025 23:30

so it ok for the kid to live with her father who is a peado the mum is there no harm done but not ok for this man to interact with any your kid my concern would be his own child also the mother doesn't sound great letting her kid interact with this man knowing what he is

Coffeetime25 · 16/08/2025 23:33

Audiprettier · 29/04/2025 10:37

Never EVER met a woman who stood up for a paedophile, so...
YAWN!!

Show quote history

read the post the childs own mother is staying with this man and giving this man access to his own child she obv supporting this thing and allowing him to possibly groom n harm his own child while the kids mother turns blind eye

Flup68 · 30/11/2025 20:10

Gymmum82 · 24/04/2025 14:03

Obviously your child will never go to play dates at their house. But you can’t dictate who can bring the child to your child’s parties. All you can do is exclude the child. Which would be unfair

I think she has every right to say to the mother that she doesn’t want the father to bring the child to their home

Flup68 · 30/11/2025 20:12

saraclara · 24/04/2025 14:03

I'm sorry but that's an overreaction.

He did an awful thing, but your child is not at risk from him because he won't be alone with him.

Show quote history

I wouldn’t want him anywhere near me or any kids of mine either

Flup68 · 30/11/2025 20:16

Gymmum82 · 24/04/2025 14:10

I can’t honestly imagine a time where he would be able to chat to your child at a party. Firstly at parties the kids are all off playing. Secondly you will be there and thirdly I don’t think I’ve ever seen any parents chat to children who aren’t there own at parties, surely you would be able to interject if you did see him trying to engage in conversation and tell him not to talk to your child. Or redirect your child to speak to you and send them off to join in. He’s not going to be able to start grooming your child at a 2 hour party while you are there watching his every move is he really? Whilst I wouldn’t want him near my kid you’re being hysterical because he won’t be able to be near your kid

He shouldn’t want to be going to frickin kids parties! He’s lost that entitlement in my eyes.

Newmumatlast · 30/11/2025 21:55

saraclara · 24/04/2025 14:02

Poor kid. Four years old. "Mummy, why is everyone else in my class invited to Spring minor's party, but not me?"
"Mummy, we invited everyone to my party, so why is no-one coming?"

If her mother cares then she can make clear to everyone that the sex offender will not be at parties and allow parents who want to stay, to stay. She can exclusively drop off/stay at others parties. It isnt on other parents to allow a sex offender near their kid to make another child feel better abput that sex offender, father or not

Newmumatlast · 30/11/2025 21:56

I genuinely think people here are mad if theyre happy to have their kids in the same room as a known child sex offender. I appreciate there will be unknown child offenders in rooms with them but if you know, you can stop them being around them

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