Childcare is so expensive I’m considering just going off sick for summer holidays

[CoolMoose]

I'm almost through the Easter holidays with my children (one of whom has significant special needs and goes to special school). My husband and I both work full time, but childcare for holidays wipes out more than our wage so we try to muddle through. However, AIBU that I’m seriously considering going off sick for some of the summer holidays because I’m completely stressed out juggling caring for my children and working at the same time. I can work from home some of the time, but a colleague made some days over Easter compulsory in the office (& I had to go in and take one of my children with me). Is going off sick for a couple of weeks in the big summer holiday the best way to manage this?Of course, I will be booking all the annual leave I have and buying extra leave to cover whatever I can, but it still does not cover school holidays. I’m utterly exhausted from the 2-week Easter holiday and I’m already completely dreading the summer period.

For context, both my husband and I have good jobs, but my husband works away. We have a preschooler (about £45 a day is the cheapest holiday care) and our older boy who has special needs requires specialist care that costs a little over £20ph which works out about £250 a day). We don’t have any family that can help, unfortunately.

You can’t do that every year. It’s not viable and your colleagues will suffer due to you not being there.

school holidays aren’t a new phenomenon, as parents we just need to manage, change jobs, make sacrifices etc.

Apply for unpaid parental leave

You can’t go off sick. That’s not fair on anyone. You could look at both taking some unpaid leave.

do you have any breaktime type services your eldest can access?

www.gov.uk/parental-leave/entitlement

Talk to your boss and try an organise something together

How exactly will you get a doctor to sign off on that ?

I second unpaid parental leave as unfortunately the only semi reasonable option. You could flag your child with additional needs as why you need it.

Wow the lack of empathy. Did you read the bit about specialist childcare costing £250 per day!?

Soudns very tough OP. The only thing is parental
leave but it's unpaid. It might leave you slightly better off.

Can you request a Term Time contract ?

Do you qualify for respite care for your son? We have both term time and holiday hours for a carer for my disabled son. It is respite rather than childcare but usually some hours will overlap my working hours. Also, can you request flexible working during the holidays if you can find a solution that works better for you.

Have you considered making a flexible working request? I'm paid for 48 weeks rather than 52 which means I can spend August with my children.

You should both be able to apply for parental leave so you can split it.

Unpaid parental leave. You have higher entitlement as a parent of a sen child.
Do you claim DLA? Ultimately it's intended for the additional cost of raising a child with additional needs so is for this kind of situation.

Parental leave is the answer. It will be so obvious and tank your career. Will your life be easier if you get sacked?

Can you arrange to have August off contractually and get paid 48 weeks spread evenly over the year?
We have a few people at work with part year contracts.

You will have to use your leave and then your husband will have to use his leave. Or is he one that isn’t capable of caring for his kids on his own?

Your husband needs to solve at least 50% of this. He doesn’t just get to work away and leave it to you. What if you decided to get a job working away?

you can’t go sick for 6 weeks. You are talking about taking all your leave and working odd days from home when you can but also being sick for long periods. It’ll be obvious as hell what’s going on and you’ll be disciplined.

What?! How did I not know about this?!…this is exactly what we need…thank you so much for this.
I just assumed parental leave was maternity leave.

You don’t get paid though

i assumed the issue was you need to be paid for the summer holidays too?

I think the issue is that childcare costs more than she earns, so taking time unpaid will save money.

Your husband should also split taking the parental leave with you. How does he currently share holiday care for your children?

It’s brutal - I suggest the unpaid leave part as well. Sick leave is fine if you’re genuinely ill but think it’s not fair on colleagues - some of whom will have children as well. But if you’re genuinely mentally unwell there’s not a lot they can do.

No, I don’t mind not being paid. I’m so glad I added this post.

I would be better off not being paid compared to paying for childcare and trying to work. I hope my employers accept an application for a few weeks in the summer.

I assumed she was going sick to get sick pay AND save childcare (no judgement - we all have to pay the mortgage after all!)

if you don’t have to be paid it should be quite straight forward.

I assume your DH also has annual leave he can use as well?