Childcare is so expensive I’m considering just going off sick for summer holidays

[CoolMoose]

I'm almost through the Easter holidays with my children (one of whom has significant special needs and goes to special school). My husband and I both work full time, but childcare for holidays wipes out more than our wage so we try to muddle through. However, AIBU that I’m seriously considering going off sick for some of the summer holidays because I’m completely stressed out juggling caring for my children and working at the same time. I can work from home some of the time, but a colleague made some days over Easter compulsory in the office (& I had to go in and take one of my children with me). Is going off sick for a couple of weeks in the big summer holiday the best way to manage this?Of course, I will be booking all the annual leave I have and buying extra leave to cover whatever I can, but it still does not cover school holidays. I’m utterly exhausted from the 2-week Easter holiday and I’m already completely dreading the summer period.

For context, both my husband and I have good jobs, but my husband works away. We have a preschooler (about £45 a day is the cheapest holiday care) and our older boy who has special needs requires specialist care that costs a little over £20ph which works out about £250 a day). We don’t have any family that can help, unfortunately.

You would never ever work for my company

Can you not ask to work from home over the summer holidays? Apply for flexible working on this basis.

Unsure if it's something your work do, but what about putting in a request for term time working ?

Me and my husband both use holiday entitlement on alternate weeks and kids clubs for two weeks over summer which do count as childcare as they have a childcare number so can be claimed as part of UC childcare element.

You know that summer holidays happen every year, so you should set up a sinking fund to cover the summer expenses to keep it affordable.

This is theft. Pure and simple. You are talking about stealing from your employer.

You can get a week of carers leave now too op and they can't stop you taking that (just delay it for a bit if they have a good enough reason).

I love it when mumsnetters are so desperate to call people thieves that they jump in before even reading the ops posts 😭

Remember that not all children are born disabled, it sounds like OP's child is very similar to my son in that he suddenly became disabled.

Last summer, her child may not have even been disabled.

You'll get roasted for this, surely.

It just can't be right that people think this is an acceptable thing to do.

There are so many people out there in the job market who would love to do your job. I can't believe you wouldn't see this for the fraud that it actually is. The idea that you can "go sick" at any point for a reason other than sickness, it's outrageous to me. To save money on childcare???

Where has our moral fibre gone as a country? It's no wonder we've got such poor productivity.

I reckon the concept of sick leave can only have a limited time span left if people keep taking the piss like this.

I have read her posts. Her plan was disgraceful- sorry if calling it out offends you, but, yeah, not sorry.

Going on the sick if you're not sick is a good way to find yourself in trouble.

Speak to your manager and explain the situation, they might be able to suggest some kind of flexibility. Do you have an employee assistance programme who might provide some suggestions.

Edit: my bad for not rtft.

I wonder how many people who say they can’t afford childcare had elaborate weddings, expensive holidays, costly cars, bought big houses and otherwise chose to spend their income instead of saving in advance for the very predictable costs of rearing children.

If being a parent is sooooo important to a person, why wouldn’t it be their No. 1 financial goal as soon as they began earning wages? Even before finding a partner. Why are so few saving toward it?

Because suddenly having a child with a disability isn't a predictable cost? Having a child in hospital also isn't a predictable cost?

Also, for some families with disabled children, it's also about standard childcare simply not taking disabled children and then other alternatives are either too expensive or they still say that they can't meet your child's needs.

For the record, we had a registry office wedding, no expensive holidays, cheap car until we got our WAV through Motability and we had some savings that were wiped out in 5 minutes due to the fact that having a child in hospital is expensive, especially when it isn't your local hospital which is what happened in our situation.

Are you getting the right amount of carer's allowance for your son? This should pay for his care at home during the holidays. I don't think this is a means tested allowance, but it sounds like you need some financial guidance in handling the money paid for his support.

I have seen many knobs on here, but I’m not sure I’ve ever seen such completely twattish posting. Does it give you pleasure being so totally obnoxious to two mothers with severely disabled children?

How many millions do you think a couple should have saved, just in case?

Then you would’ve seen she decided against it before page 2

To be honest, you just sound really thick.

Please don’t do this and end up unemployed in the long run. I’m sure many parents will be trying the same thing during the holidays and your employer is likely to bring you into a formal meeting.
can you arrange term working with manager? Contact hr? You mentioned caring for a disabled child do you workplace have policies in place for caters? Equalities act etc

So you are just going to try this every time there is a school holiday? You expect your employer to pay you to look after your own children... and you somehow think they won't notice the patterns of your absence and/or that you are somehow entitled to get this??
I think your colleagues-many of whom will also be parents of school aged children-might not be over impressed with you just absenting yourself conveniently over the school holidays.
You and your husband need to develop a long term strategy and plan for managing work and childcare like adults. You both need to talk to your employers-but ultimately childcare costs are your responsibility, not theirs.

I’m talking in general, not about the OP. Plenty of parents whose kids don’t have special needs gripe about the cost of childcare as though it’s some unexpected lightening bolt from the blue.

It’s a big expense that is well known in advance & can be planned and saved for. It might take scaling down one’s living standard in other areas, but most lifestyle choices involve tradeoffs.

Are you having a laugh, it's like £80 a week and you can't get if you earn more than something like £132 a week

I’d talk to your boss, inform them you have no choice but to take unpaid parental leave for a good portion of the summer holidays. They may come to an agreement as they will need you, I know friends in a very similar situation who work (wait for it), 5am to about 8am when they all wake, then evenings so rhey have the day to care for the children and drink a lot of coffee.

some companies are better than others, that or seriously consider working in a school and if it’s for you and not having to deal with this holiday nightmare.

Carer's allowance is mainly for those who aren't working or are working just a few hours a week.

and if you also get Universal Credit, it gets taken right back off of you.