To wonder if being an only child is different now to in previous generations?

[ThePinkPonyClub]

I'm a mum to an amazing 3 year old daughter, and we are still on the fence about having any more children. To be totally honest the only reason it's still on the table is for DD to potentially have a sibling - neither of us have a burning desire outside of that reason especially given how unaffordable life is these days! I also had terrible PND and am much better now but she definitely gets the best version of me and I genuinely fear she wouldn't if I was to go through the pregnancy and post natal period again.

When I was a child I only had one friend whi was an only and that wasn't his parents choice. There were expressions like 'an only is lonely' and the only children are selfish/spoiled trope. my mum always told me that the best gift she ever gave me was my younger sister. If I think about it too much I start to feel dreadfully guilty that we are considering leaving my daughter without a brother or sister.

But on the other hand, I know quite a few couples now that have stopped at one and it doesn't seem to be a 'thing' that their kid is an only. Most of these kids were in childcare from age 1 as is often the case these days and I've genuinely not noticed any of those stereotypical 'only child' personalities. Which makes me feel better again. My own daughter goes to pre school 3 days a week and has loads of friends there, she goes to a couple of clubs, we tend to meet up with friends with kids and her cousins on weekends which I expect will get more so once she's at school, so would she really be lonely?

I seem to be constantly dwelling on this at the moment and would love others thoughts?

I distinctly remember my siblings ignoring me in the school corridor 😂 and walking home with friends instead of together.

My siblings were like this and we aren't close as adults - we had very distict friendship groups and little interaction outside the home.

There is a much small age gap with my DC and it's really nice to see them choosing to spend time with each other and having friends in common. Whether that lasts no idea but it's a foundation I supposed to build on in later life.

Though my three never hated other kids joining in - or rarely did - when they did it was often as other child was bad at interacting and in a few case because they came with a micromanaging parent or even once a DGP trying to dicated what all the kids could and couldn't do or trying to exclude a sibling.

@Saladleaves17 Thank you for your very kind response. Massive congratulations on your pregnancy and I am sure you all can’t wait to welcome your new family member 💛Your empathy is much appreciated and does give me comfort and hope too, what a perfect Xmas present :). I’m not quite ready to let it go just yet so will hang in there for another bit. All the best x