I really struggle to understand why people STILL don’t get this concept - Gender identity and sexual preference are completely different things!! A 4 year old hasn’t gone through puberty yet - they don’t know who they are attracted to but they DO have a strong sense of what gender they are. I have a 4 yo DD - I have actively avoided all gender stereotyped clothes, toys, media, everything, because I don’t want to put her in a box. Since the age of about 3 she’s known she’s a girl, she has a strong sense of her identity- and that doesn’t mean she loves playing with dolls and wearing pink, she’s just comfortable in her body and her gender. It’s one of the few things she is completely sure about. I know of and have read a lot about trans kids a similar age to her and a little older and they strongly feel that their brain does not match their body. It’s a primal thing. I’m not suggesting medical intervention for a 4-year-old. You’ve got another 6 years or so to observe their behaviour, its consistency and the child’s level of distress. Parents of these children say they are miserable, self-harm by trying to cut their penises off, or the other way round, put socks down their pants to look as if they have a penis! Constantly want to dress very stereotypically like the opposite gender. If this behaviour last for 8 years and they’ve said the only thing in the world that would make me happy is to be a boy/girl, or I’ll kill myself if I start growing boobs (I know of a girl who said this) a thousand times what parent would deny their child the opportunity to transition after years and years of misery?
I’m a gay woman and have many gay friends, male and female - none of them ever thought they were the opposite gender when they were children. Being gay has got nothing to do with your gender. Yes some men are camp, some women are butch but that’s not the same as wanting to BE a girl or wanting to be a man. God, even my 4 yo knows this!