Only 4 RSVPs out of 24 invites - WIBU to ask teachers to pop a reminder note in reading folders?

[DinoNuggetsRUs]

My DS is in school nursery and it’s his 4th birthday on Saturday. I’ve booked out the community hall and hired a big bouncy castle and invited his whole class. I sent the invites out 2 weeks ago, so 3 weeks before the party with an RSVP date of Friday just gone.
So far, out of 24 invites, I’ve only had 4 RSVPs, and one of those was to say they’re at another party.
Theres no group chat (that I’m aware of), would I be being a pain in the arse to give the teachers a stack of notes to remind people to pop in reading folders? I appreciate teachers are not there to do my unpaid party admin but I’m dreading the thought of him only having 3 kids at his party when he’s mentioned some others by name he wants there who haven’t RSVPed.

Im wondering whether to buy a box of biscuits for the teachers as an offering for being a pest, or whether to just wait and see what happens on Saturday.

Its his first ever birthday party and he’s so excited and Im just envisioning him sat there sad that none of his pals have shown up.

Yes - that would be a pain in the arse.
Can you speak to parents at pick up?

is there a Facebook page?

Is there not a WhatsApp group?

How did you send the invites round ?

Invites is kind of reasonable but this is a bit beyond really.

do you have any other way at all of contacting the parents?

Of you’ve had one rsvp decline saying another party it is quite likely that there’s another one happening and the rest of the parents are nos.

think about what you options are in that case (I invited a load of family at short notice)

Do not involve teachers they have enough to do without being social secretaries

DO NOT involve the teachers in this. It's not their problem in any way. Helping hand out the invites is ok, nothing else is. It is your job to figure out the rest. Catch parents on pick up, use a what's app group, use a Facebook parents' group, contact the parents who have replied and see if they have details for any other parents. Also you may find that parents haven't been thinking much beyond Easter hols and that once the kids are back, they reply.

How did you invite them originally?

Do that again.

It’s the teachers business, and you can’t really send a reminder for a child’s party, imagine everyone did that ?

With such a low RSVP rate, I’d be wondering if the invitations got home at all! Whenever we haven’t had an RSVP, it’s that the invitation has got lost between nursery/school and home and they are just unaware, and I message parent to follow up if I have a way to (FB for example) or catch them at pick-up or drop-off.

Does nursery have a closed FB group or anything?

YABU - teachers are not responsible for your child’s social engagements.

I would expect the teacher would refuse to do it, and I wouldn't blame her.

Start a WhatsApp group it’s easier.

Teachers at our school would happily do it, especially if you just do a note in everyone's bags so they can just do it all in 1 go before sending kids out

No Facebook group or WhatsApp, I’m 99% sure a WhatsApp group doesn’t exist because I’m friends with one of the mums who would most certainly be in it and she suggested I start one (but I have no details of other parents).
The invites went in reading folders but it seems I’m right in thinking it’s a bit much asking the teachers to do more than they already have.
The reason we’ve not had any parties in the past is because we only have our nuclear family and one set of grandparents. No aunts or uncles, cousins etc. Sort of wishing we’d just gone CBeebies land now!

Had a similar issue for my son’s 4th birthday a few weeks ago, though we did have more than 4 responses.

I stood around at pick up for a while at different times and spoke to parents. Some hadn’t actually seen the invite, others had forgotten about it. Everyone bar 1 ended up coming and I fear it would have been less if I didn’t approach parents.

You say one child can’t make it because they have another party. Could that be another nursery party?

Speak to the parents at pick up, sounds like the invites might not have made it home?

How often are reading folders accessed? Will they have been looked in over the Easter break? They sound like the kind of thing that won’t really be checked that much, especially over a holiday. Don’t they have backpacks with their spare clothes in etc?

If there's no WhatsApp group I would just ask for another invite to be put in the book bags, I'm a teacher and i wouldn't mind doing that given the situation. Also if there are particular kids that you son wanted maybe speak to their parents on pickup. I would then invite family, cousins, friend's kids.
Unfortunately some people won't tell you they can't come... which is frustrating when you just need to know!
I'd also suggest doing a few extra party bags or food boxes depending what your plan is, because sometimes you ger a couple showing up who didn't respond and in this situation you wouldn't want to turn them away. Wishing you luck!

Oh and it may just be parents aren't interested in nursery parties, we certainly weren't. It's rubbish for them not to RSVP no though if thats the case. We only started attending whole class parties from reception/school age. Have there been other all nursery parties?

I think it's fine to ask, if you do so in a kind of 'no worries if it's not possible' way.

Also, on the day I gave invites out I saw one child running in the playground with it in his hands and the other mums who text had them
in their reading bags. Arghhh! What a nightmare!

How can the parents not have seen the invitations, if they made it into the children's book bags?

I get how older kids might forget to mention important things requiring a response to their parents; but with very little kids, who can't be relied on to pass messages or forms on, wouldn't the parents routinely check their bags for themselves?

So you handed the invites out on the last day of term? (Or is this a private nursery?)

If there's no WhatsApp group and you don't have anyone else's number then you're going to have to rely on the kindness of the teacher? Maybe you can offer to come to pick up a few minutes early so you can personally give the invite to the children as they are dismissed?

The invites were given to the teacher to put in reading folders the Friday before the last week of school, so not the last Friday before breaking up if you get me? so they were handed out on the 28th. Is that 2 or 3 weeks ago? I’m stressing haha
its a school nursery

Could you do a homemade poster and ask teacher nicely if you’re allowed to put it up by the entrance/exit door because so few parents have RSVP’d and you don’t want to let your child down with very few guests? As a teacher I’d have no issue with that.

I’ve been in similar shoes before, it sucks that people very often don’t bother RSVP’ing because very often they turn up (and bring along siblings you hadn’t catered for!)

28th was 3 weeks ago (which makes the lack of rsvp's worse)

You're definitely going to have to find a way to get a reminder out.

I'd print of a stack of "2nd invites" and explain the situation to the teacher, offering to distribute them yourself at pick up.

Good incentive to look at setting up a group chat on WhatsApp too.