Only 4 RSVPs out of 24 invites - WIBU to ask teachers to pop a reminder note in reading folders?

[DinoNuggetsRUs]

My DS is in school nursery and it’s his 4th birthday on Saturday. I’ve booked out the community hall and hired a big bouncy castle and invited his whole class. I sent the invites out 2 weeks ago, so 3 weeks before the party with an RSVP date of Friday just gone.
So far, out of 24 invites, I’ve only had 4 RSVPs, and one of those was to say they’re at another party.
Theres no group chat (that I’m aware of), would I be being a pain in the arse to give the teachers a stack of notes to remind people to pop in reading folders? I appreciate teachers are not there to do my unpaid party admin but I’m dreading the thought of him only having 3 kids at his party when he’s mentioned some others by name he wants there who haven’t RSVPed.

Im wondering whether to buy a box of biscuits for the teachers as an offering for being a pest, or whether to just wait and see what happens on Saturday.

Its his first ever birthday party and he’s so excited and Im just envisioning him sat there sad that none of his pals have shown up.

Aww..look even if you ask the teacher I don't think that will improve your uptake as they will just get shoved wherever the first one ended up. There is nothing for it but to stand at drop off ir pick up and manually give them out. Once you have done this though you can set the WhatsApp group yourself....make life so much easier for everyone !

Are they still on Easter break? I have not looked in any of my dc’s bags. Definitely have not looked in their reading records since they broke up 2 1/2 weeks ago.

I'm a primary school teacher. I would explain the situation and kindly ask the teacher to pop a new invite into their folders again (and on the invite stress a reply). Also biscuits for the teacher is a really good idea.

I think I’m gonna have to ask the teacher even if I know I’m being hugely unreasonable just for my sons sake D: I’m going to pop to Asda and get some nice biscuits and chocolates as a peace offering for them.
His teacher is absolutely lovely and I have zero doubts she would do it for me, I just didn’t want to put on her too much.

Problem is with standing there at pick up is, reception and nursery are in the same room and pick up from the same place and I have no idea what who’s parents are who’s. I’ve not invited reception though as I stupidly thought that I’d get half the class coming at least and 12 kids was enough.

that’s me taught my lesson!

I wonder if people just got caught up end of term madness and forgot all about it, especially with the holidays.

I’d also ask the parents who did respond - if it was by text and you now have their numbers I’d message round and ask them if they have any other parents numbers and would they mind messaging them for you/passing on their numbers with permission. You may be able to track down a few more contacts.

Plus get to pick up/drop off early and speak to as many as you can (have some spare invites with you).

And yes to be honest I’d also ask the teachers.

I wonder if with the Easter holidays your invites have been totally missed/forgotten; to my shame I haven’t touched my kids bags since we got home the last day of term and I’ll clear it out this weekend!

Definitely try and get a WhatsApp group going, it’s just so handy for allsorts really but definitely for parties. Even if too late for this occasion, they’re still worth having!

I wouldn’t involve the teacher, you need to take initiative yourself and get asking at pick up. If the original invites went in the bin then any follow up is going to the same place, stand at pick up and ask parents.

We had this sort of situation with every one of my children’s parties. Plus, we’d have people turn up who never replied or not show up when they said they would. Sadly, far too many people just don’t think about the issue this causes.

I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect school staff to give out reminders. In addition, it’s probably futile anyway. Those who ignore the initial RSVP will just ignore the reminder.

PS does your nursery have an app? The teacher may be willing to post on there so all parents can see?

People will have forgotten about it over the holidays. You’re going to have to be brave and talk to every parents you can and drop off and pickup tomorrow and the next day and ask them if they’re coming.

Just do it OP, mumsnet is weird about this sort of stuff. But she probably won’t mind in reality, it’s not like you will be asking every 3 weeks forever

Do not involve the teachers or other staff.

You may be unlucky because of Easter, when people are thinking of other things and/or are away.

Like others I think it will be a timing issue (when they were given out it seemed that the party was ages away, but it's now been forgotten due to the holiday).

I agree you need to ask parents at pick up. It sounds like you do know at least one other parent so ask them to point out other nursery parents, ask parents who their child is or wait for your child to come out and point out their friends.
If you do this with other parents about it will most likely prompt others to say "oh yes, I was meaning to message you ..."

I would do this even if you send out reminders as well (though I would really suggest not asking the teacher on the first day back after the holiday when they have enough to do). Because you still won't get responses from everyone.

Although it's normal to have a fair few no responses, 4 responses is a very low RSVP rate.

Agree with a PP that suggested you message the 4 that have replied and ask them if they have any other parent contact numbers. I'm sure you'll get a few numbers that way.

If one has said they are already at another party that day, I would be worried they are all at the same party which might explain why noone has responded to you.

So the teacher has already been asked to facilitate this? I certainly don't think she should be asked again.

It’s definitely worth starting a WhatsApp group then, it will be useful lots of times over the next few years. In the meantime you could just ask every parents which class their kids are in.

Good luck with the party!

Has your child been invited to any parties of nursery children this year? Do you not have the phone numbers for those parents?

Parents rarely check book bags in nursery especially during the holidays.
You're going to have to speak to parents.
I'd ask the teacher if your child could come out first so they can point their friends out to you.

Is the party during the school holidays? Also is one has declined due to another party, is that party for someone who also goes to the same nursery?

You already know this method of invitation doesn’t work. Why repeat it?

No 🤣

I am a teacher and I wouldn't mind , but I also think as it's a nursery it might be more acceptable to ask more of them...? I pay £75 a day for my son to go to school nursery, so I probably wouldn't think it was wrong to ask the staff to help with this. I think it's a little different from asking the reception teacher - but I might not be right about that.

Can you ask the mums who have RSVPed yes whether or not they know any other parents numbers ?

So far, out of 24 invites, I’ve only had 4 RSVPs, and one of those was to say they’re at another party

Well there's your answer OP. You've clashed with another kid's party and they are all at that.