Only 4 RSVPs out of 24 invites - WIBU to ask teachers to pop a reminder note in reading folders?

[DinoNuggetsRUs]

My DS is in school nursery and it’s his 4th birthday on Saturday. I’ve booked out the community hall and hired a big bouncy castle and invited his whole class. I sent the invites out 2 weeks ago, so 3 weeks before the party with an RSVP date of Friday just gone.
So far, out of 24 invites, I’ve only had 4 RSVPs, and one of those was to say they’re at another party.
Theres no group chat (that I’m aware of), would I be being a pain in the arse to give the teachers a stack of notes to remind people to pop in reading folders? I appreciate teachers are not there to do my unpaid party admin but I’m dreading the thought of him only having 3 kids at his party when he’s mentioned some others by name he wants there who haven’t RSVPed.

Im wondering whether to buy a box of biscuits for the teachers as an offering for being a pest, or whether to just wait and see what happens on Saturday.

Its his first ever birthday party and he’s so excited and Im just envisioning him sat there sad that none of his pals have shown up.

Or could you set up a class WhatsApp and give the details of that to the teacher to hand out ?

Oh gosh op. Is it this Saturday? I’m sure that would be too late for people turning up.
How were they initially given. I think handing it to 4yo was a really bad idea.
im surprised you don’t have a WA group- it’s exactly for things like this. What school doesn’t pass on the details of parents in the class? How are you meant to organise parties and play dates?
they are 4yo so I’m really surprised at how bad the communication is.

I’m a teacher - please don’t ask us to do stuff like this, we are not your personal assistants

How do parents for young kids get invitations out in your class?

Errrrrr no school should be doing this. Ever heard of the data protection act?

I hate excuses like this, becaue they are just excuses from lazy parents.

When DD received invitations to parties I stuck them on the fridge. I realise that not everyone can do that, but it isn't hard to have a noticeboard or something similar to put invitations, school reminders, appointment reminders etc on.

Ours is the first class party. We’ve been invited to a couple of family parties at people’s houses where my child has been the only kid from nursery there, the rest being family members and those children are the ones who’ve RSVPed yes. I don’t think there is another party on because the children who’ve RSVPed yes are the more outgoing ones in the class who are friends with a lot of the other kids so I imagine they’d have mentioned it. I know there’s a party for a reception child on the Sunday, so day after ours but the nursery children haven’t been invited to that one.
May be a drip feed, but the school is in a pretty deprived area and its slap bang in the middle of a bad estate and I’ve seen a couple of cross words between some of the parents so I've been a bit nervous to chat but I'm going to have put my brave pants on. We chose the school cause it has an outstanding ofsted rating and a small intake and my DS has been thriving there, the kids are all lovely and the parents I’ve met so far have also been lovely so I don’t know what I’m worried about.

I was going to say YABU though I feel your pain however, this is nursery and, based on the ratio of staff:children being better, I’d explain your dilemma to the staff and see if they can ask just once. I wouldnt ask early years or ks1 for the reasons people point out but at my son’s private nursery I did ask once politely and then left it at that.

My son is now considerably older but I’ve booked a summer holiday over his birthday to avoid this scenario. I did several parties when he was younger but they are expensive and stressful. I hope your’s goes ok on the day.

I think it's fine to ask the teacher to pass out a reminder.

If the 3 that replied yes are the more popular and outgoing children then I guarantee their parents will have numbers for the other parents. You need to ask those 3 parents for other parent numbers. It's the only way.

Most people forget school admin over the school hols, and some may not look in book bags especially in the last few days of term.

You're going to have to ask people whether they go the invites to Oscar's party. If anyone says no or I forgot to reply etc, ask for their mobile number off them there and then and text them the details. Then it's easier for them to reply to and you're not relying on them tracking down the piece of paper.

If there is a clash with another class party, I would try to move it. That might be very easy for the hall to accommodate. Good luck.

one of the parents I know has a lot of the other parents contact details because she’s a nursery worker and she looked after a lot of their kids! But I haven’t asked her because I feel like if she passed my number onto someone else without asking me id be pretty naffed off. I mean, I’ve sent mine out on the invites now so obviously it would be fine to give mine out but the other parents haven’t done that so it feels a bit wrong to try and hunt them down, now I’m typing it that sounds a bit precious actually….

Could it be that parents haven’t looked in book bags over the holidays and will find them on the evening before term starts?

Start up a WhatsApp group and ask the people you do know the numbers of to add other parents on. Before long, you will have most of the class parents on there. Then you send out a reminder.
I do worry though that there may be a rival party going on.

I'm a teacher and would have no issue handing out invites or notes.

I do find a lot of people are last minute with replies which is very annoying and stressful. Let us know how it works out.

Sure but she might be happy to message them and say oi, you lot, @DinoNuggetsRUs doesn't have your number but she's only had 4 replies, could you RSVP?

Honestly all school admin gets parked and forgotten about over the hols. Resist taking it personally. It's always tricky getting replies about a party so close to the start of term. Before the hols people haven't thought about next term yet, and it seems a long way away, then they forget over the hols.

Posters saying create a WhatsApp group, what would be the point when the school year ends in July and not all kids from a nursery will go to the same school, in primary school WhatsApp groups make sense as the kids all stay together for the 7 years, but nursery it's such a short time

Also OP, it's nearly the end of April and yours is going to be the first all class party - that probably tells you why the RSVP rate has been so low

You may find you get a flurry of replies this evening when everyone checks their book bags! We haven't looked at ours the whole Easter holidays!

I’m a teacher, we would do this! It’s no big deal as have to put things in book bags at the end of the day anyway and a generic note is easy (compared to names notes).

I’m also a teacher, and I don’t mind doing it at all!
There is no harm in asking. The teacher can always say no, I’m sorry, we just don’t have time.

I think it would be totally fine, as you're involving the whole nursery class, to just go round with an 'excuse me, I'm just giving these out to all the nursery children, are you a nursery parent?' yes - 'great here you go then' no 'oh ok sorry to have bothered you'.

Different if you were doing 'looking for Kayden and Sophia 's parents as want to invite them to something' but as everyone in the class is invited it's fine. Wouldn't bother me at all if I got asked and was the 'wrong' year parent.

WhatsApp those parents who have RSVPed a copy of the invite and ask them to forward it on to any parents they have contact details for

Get as many phone numbers as you can by asking friends, spread the message around via WhatsApp that you’ve only had 4 RSVPs and you’re going to have to cancel the party which your DC will be very upset about. Pull on heart strings and do it via text and WhatsApp ASAP.

Don’t put more invites in bags at school, it didn’t work the first time so don’t waste your time doing it again.

I would message everyone who's replied - do you have numbers for XYZ.
Look through people's FB friends, message parents you know of older children.
I usually get about half RSVPs, then have to chase the others this way.