Only 4 RSVPs out of 24 invites - WIBU to ask teachers to pop a reminder note in reading folders?

[DinoNuggetsRUs]

My DS is in school nursery and it’s his 4th birthday on Saturday. I’ve booked out the community hall and hired a big bouncy castle and invited his whole class. I sent the invites out 2 weeks ago, so 3 weeks before the party with an RSVP date of Friday just gone.
So far, out of 24 invites, I’ve only had 4 RSVPs, and one of those was to say they’re at another party.
Theres no group chat (that I’m aware of), would I be being a pain in the arse to give the teachers a stack of notes to remind people to pop in reading folders? I appreciate teachers are not there to do my unpaid party admin but I’m dreading the thought of him only having 3 kids at his party when he’s mentioned some others by name he wants there who haven’t RSVPed.

Im wondering whether to buy a box of biscuits for the teachers as an offering for being a pest, or whether to just wait and see what happens on Saturday.

Its his first ever birthday party and he’s so excited and Im just envisioning him sat there sad that none of his pals have shown up.

My children’s nurseries would have been fine about putting a reminder in bags - at this late stage you need some help. I would just put please let me know so I know numbers for party bags. It’s not part of the teacher’s job as many have said but they can always refuse if it’s an issue for them.
Hope it all works out on the day. More room on the bouncy castle if there’s only a few there and they’ll love that !

I'm a nursery teacher and I really wouldn't have a problem putting an extra card in the children's bag or sending a mass text out to all parents asking them to contact you, as long as all the children were invited. I'd rather spend 2 mins doing this than have one of my kiddies have noone turn up to his party. So don't feel bad asking the teacher, especially if your handing out biscuits we love that haha

If you have enough things to be able to, why not invite the reception children too? You might get some last minute uptakes that way. I hope the party goes well x

Maybe a big poster that you can ask to be put next to the collection door?
Very low lift.

That would be my only suggestion of not camping out for the whole collection window and speaking to everyone (as a one off)

Had it with my son's 5th Birthday, his birthday is the 1st week of December and I sent the invites in 2 weeks beforehand. The classroom assistant assumed they were Christmas cards and put them in the school card box so no-one got them until the Friday, the day before his party. I had a few turn up but a lot of apologies on the Monday where the parents hadn't checked their school bags until then! Rather than parties, I now let him choose a few friends and go bowling or something like that. Less hassle than knowing if people are going to show up or not.

i would ask them what they suggest (as safeguarding may not allow certain things, obvs you asking parents as they arrive in the car park etc would be ok). I would think about arriving early on a couple of different days to catch different people, have hand outs with every detail on there.

it’s tricky as I imagine some parents not checking folders etc.

although he prepared for people amto turn up when they have not rsvp.

hope he has a wonderful birthday x

Bless you, it's so tricky. As long as you include a peace offering of biscuits etc to the teacher it should be OK as a one off. Next time you'll need to come up with a different strategy.

We live and we learn, hope it goes OK!!!

I know it’s a bit late now, but for next year, I think three weeks notice is a little short. We get nursery invites 6-8 weeks in advance minimum (unless it’s an informal garden party at home now the weather is warming up), but basically anywhere that involves hiring out a venue is usually a couple of months notice.

I’m sure your son will have a wonderful time regardless (but agree with a pp who said get him to point the kids he wants out and target their parents!)

Don't beat yourself up too much about it, you're doing your best.
Retired teacher here, lost count of the number of times a child would shove a load of invitations into my hand just as the class were lining up to go home
"Can you give these out miss"
They need to be passed on to a teacher in the morning if you're going down that route.

I hope the party is a success, you've put too much pressure on yourself, but you'll learn for the next time how to improve invite distribution. Personally I'd keep a nursery age party to low numbers, but that's just me.
Good luck.

As a teacher I’d rather do it and help the mum out than see one of the kids upset.

I would respond ( if my kids had not already used the invite for something else or put it in an unusual place). But, I would not be comfortable taking my child to a party where I did not know the family. I would feel very awkward standing around for a few hours with people I had never met and most definitely would not leave my child with strangers . If the children had been in the same class all that time I would expect to have spoke to the parent or whoever picks them up before now. Is there a reason you don’t know the other parents? Does someone else usually pick your child up or are you antisocial?

@DinoNuggetsRUs

why not ask the mum who suggested you set it up to add the parents to a WhatsApp you set up label it “DS birthday party” and say you know it’s late in the day but please can I ask you to let me know if you’re coming or not so I know for party bags and food.

people can always leave/reject invite if they want to or alternatively they can leave on Sunday after the party.

I hope it goes well for you

Ooh I think you might have left it too late. I feel like people's diaries get so busy so quickly, specially during school holidays. If most kids in your DC's nursery have older children siblings (😅), their parents are bound to have booked Easter holidays months ago and are not available 😳

I totally get your anxiety i done my 2 boys party's a couple of years ago and never again most didn't rsvp so we had no idea if anyone was coming and it was so stressful ! In the end most turned up ( several siblings aswell) so it worked out but I just couldn't deal with that again

I haven't done parties like that yet, but from all the posts I've read with various dilemmas about invites/rsvp's and siblings attending, I think invitations, reminders plus a group chat are necessary and then you still have to expect a certain amount of cheeky fuckery.

Contact the parent that has lots of parent details and ask them to message the other parents and share your details.
Also ask school if they would mind passing invites on again.

@DinoNuggetsRUs can you not ask the one with the contact details to let you send her a message and she can forward it. You can put at the beginning ‘this is X’s Mum, have asked Y’s mum to send this as she has your number and you may not be comfortable with her giving it to me’. Otherwise can she message them and ask if she can hand over your number? You can ser up a poll easily on whatsapp so they can vote yes or no.

You shouldn’t be involving teachers with this. It’s not their job, they have enough to do!

can you not go to the school gate at AM/PM and speak to parents then and tell them to tell parents in class.

i’d recommend a WhatsApp group for communication it’s so much better.

Why would paid childcare not have a WhatsApp group? My kids’ nursery (not a school nursery) has had one for each room they’ve been in.

You need to stand there at pick up / collection and ask. My DD at that age was useless. Weeks after we would find done crumpled note at the bottom of the bag. Do they have a pigeon hoke where shoes/coats are? Drop invites in there?

Also if you are worried about numbers you could include siblings.

I’d ask the nursery leads, we all used to when an all invited thing, and they used to make a bit of a play about it and often we would invite them too - and they’d come!

My child is in reception. All class party invites come via book bag. It's not a big deal for the teacher to put them in.

Start a WhatsApp group. Make a QR code leading to the invitation to the group. Ask the teachers if you may blue tack it to the nursery door.

Oh come on.

Would not feel comfortable? Need a thicker skin! Loads of parties will be like this and loads of parents won’t know each other, especially at nursery age!

“Is there a reason?” There could be loads of reasons and none of them are relevant to the post.

Honestly, the purpose of kids’ schooling is not to provide socialising opportunities for the mother.