Only 4 RSVPs out of 24 invites - WIBU to ask teachers to pop a reminder note in reading folders?

[DinoNuggetsRUs]

My DS is in school nursery and it’s his 4th birthday on Saturday. I’ve booked out the community hall and hired a big bouncy castle and invited his whole class. I sent the invites out 2 weeks ago, so 3 weeks before the party with an RSVP date of Friday just gone.
So far, out of 24 invites, I’ve only had 4 RSVPs, and one of those was to say they’re at another party.
Theres no group chat (that I’m aware of), would I be being a pain in the arse to give the teachers a stack of notes to remind people to pop in reading folders? I appreciate teachers are not there to do my unpaid party admin but I’m dreading the thought of him only having 3 kids at his party when he’s mentioned some others by name he wants there who haven’t RSVPed.

Im wondering whether to buy a box of biscuits for the teachers as an offering for being a pest, or whether to just wait and see what happens on Saturday.

Its his first ever birthday party and he’s so excited and Im just envisioning him sat there sad that none of his pals have shown up.

Absolutely no way. Teachers have enough to do without getting involved in things that happen outside the classroom.

I don't think teachers should be put in that position.

Can you not catch the parents before or after nursery?

At this late stage, better to ask in person if possible.

Just ask them all? "Excuse me is your child in the nursery class? My son's got a party...." I fail to see the issue.

Do, ask the teacher and give her a little gift as a thank you, it’s unlikely she will refuse if you already think she is nice

Please don't do this, totally unnecessary and would put my back right up.

Also, if DS has only ever been to small parties he will be fine even if it does end up as 4 kids.

Sounds like you need to set up a WhatsApp group! Set up the group with you and your friend, and then print off the QR code that other parents can scan to join the group. Ask the teacher is you can display the print out outside the classroom door/window.

Personally I’d start a class WhatsApp pronto in the premise of being able to chat about primary offers and then use it as a springboard to DM parent to have invited (don’t use the class WhatsApp for it).
or you need to stand in the playground as others have said and get busy approaching people tomorrow

I know this is not the point of the thread but why are people so bloody rude by not replying? I can never remember this being a problem when my children were primary school age.

Oh that's crap (facing the possibility of a disappointing first-ever birthday party, I mean).

I'd try to address this without going through the teacher, partly because, given how little time is left, speaking rather than writing to the parents seems the better option. What if the parents take a couple of days to reply to the reminder and then it's a load of 'nos'?

That said, whether this will work depends on the dynamics among the parents and your own standing with/approach to them. Thinking of my kids, for most of the years I'd have been OK with lingering at drop-off and/or pickup for a couple of days and talking to people. But there was one year when I would have avoided doing that b/o weird vibes. You've got to be able to do it without feeling like you're begging.

Try to work out if this other party is where everyone's going. If you really can't get a crowd together, maybe either gently tell your boy the truth or else come up with an excuse, and scrap the party in favour of a theme park or similar. I hope that wouldn't leave you too out of pocket...

[What's the biblical story about the man who invited all the gentlefolk and then, when they wouldn't show up, threw his doors open all the local beggars instead? Easter Monday is a holiday where I am, I've got Christianity on my mind. Not saying that's the way to go...]

Have you just had school holidays? Maybe no one has opened their reading folders for the last 2 weeks.

Yes do a reminder.

Can you not just change the date if another party is going on? Inconvenient but better than nobody showing up!

It's not appropriate to expect a teacher to organise who is and isn't coming to your kids party. Imagine if they had to do that every time there was a birthday in class.
You must just speak to the parents of the kids invited. It's nothing to do with the school or teacher.
If only a few are available then can you make up numbers with family kids?

Why can't you yourself go at the end of the day first day back and actually hand the invitations to parents yourself? If they've actually had it from you they might take more notice.
You sort of sound like you are only willing to do stuff via the teacher... You need to put your big girl pants on and tackle it head on yourself

I would ask the teacher if they have any suggestions- I don't see how that's wrong- but try and speak to some of the parents. Like you I am in a fairly deprived/mixed area with no WhatsApp group and there aren't loads of parties (and/or my child isn't invited). When i recently organised a party for my child most yes responses came from parents I actually spoke to, rather than the ones the teacher helped invite. I imagine some of the other parents whose children we invited might have been put of because they didn't know who I am.

Also don't worry too much if masses don't come- we ended up having a party with 6 children of my child's age (and a younger sibling and my friend's younger child) and it turned out to be a really good party and I think just about the right number. I had invited about 12 children from school and only got responses from half.

Perhaps you could try and bump up numbers a little with children of a few friends?

It's been 8 months your child's been in the class and you don't recognise any of the parents at all?? Have you not invited any children over to play after nursery with their mum or anything? When my kids were in nursery this was the norm, you invited a child over and their mum came too for a natter and a coffee as the kids were a bit little to drop and go.

I find it so strange people seem to have become so unsociable. My child would have come out talking to other children so I knew they were in their class, it seemed easy to get to know other parents, and I wasn't even at pick up every day as I worked quite a bit?

And by April there'd been a few soft play parties and the like so parents had chatted at those.

Definitely don’t involve the teacher, you could put reminders in the book bags again. But sadly this is what parents can be like, but they usually turn up on the day, often with uninvited siblings. However, my DS1 used to hide party invites because he was shy and didn’t like parties, that made things awkward for me on a few occasions. DS2 loved parties and never got invited, that’s kids!

Me neither @ilovemyfriends thankfully!

I would just print off some invites and if it turns out they haven't been invited yet ask them even if in reception?

I totally get your reluctance though. I found it so stressful going up to people- although I had at least worked out who the parents were of my child's main friends. But most parents seemed happy to be invited.

This happened to my son, turned out there was another birthday in the same day and we werent invited. We had 4 people from the class turn up but a ton of family and friends so it ended uo ok. Can you fill the numbers with family and friends?

Totally unreasonable. Please don't.

Me too and I'd flat out refuse a request like this.

Is there an app the nursery use to communicate with you? With had invitations and reminders about parties sent through the app before. Probably less effort for the teacher than handing out notes in bookbags

How much?!