Why do some women not like their husbands?

[whatsausername]

I mean this thread with all genuine sincerity, because my husband is the love of my life and also my best friend (married 5 years, together 10)

I absolutely love spending time with my husband, and family in general, and choose this above all else.

yet I have friends who would absolutely choose their friends to spend time with over their husband and I just don’t get it?

today is Easter Sunday and I couldn’t fathom not being with my husband and children

yet I have 2 very close friends who are spending today together, with their kids, but not their husbands. And this is the case for almost all things, all the time?

AIBU to think why are women marrying men they just don’t want to spend time with???

Easter Sunday is a normal day in our home.

YABVU, please stop the faux wide eye innocence.

Because some men change after marriage.

popcorn

I know!!!!
” I’m married to this perfect man and we have a perfect marriage and look at those strange losers out there who love to spend time with their girlfriends and kids, and laugh and bond and have fun while husbands have me time..Because they ugly to be like meeee”

Wait until you've been married 20 years with 2 kids, then come back to post!

That should be “ought” to be 😆

You do you, OP.

Give it another 5 years 😎

Because after over 30 years he gets on my last bastard nerve.

Loads of reasons! Literally loads!

Your genuine sincerity pales in comparison to your naivety. Surely you are experienced enough in life to know that not all marriages are happy unions? I struggle to believe your incredulity as you sound smug and disingenuous.

YABVU

My husband is my best friend too, but we don't need to be glued at the hip.

Women who hate their husbands are my absolute fave genre of women 🙌

Generally likeable and fun to be around

Aside from the ones who marry men who turn out to be arseholes, I think there are quite a lot of women who marry men they find attractive and enjoy dating, but with whom they don't realise they don't have many things in common which will last into married life. This is an over-simplification of course, but the stereotypical 'He likes football and going to the pub with his mates, she likes shopping and going out with the girls' relationship just sounds awful to me. Of course you're not going to spend much time together if you don't share any interests!

I love my husband the requisite amount, but also love my hobbies and friends. What I don't understand is the people who seem to be surgically attached to their husband and completely lose their identity.

This.

Lol @ OP.

Tell me you're a self important prat without telling me...

If my original thread didn’t come across genuine I apologise. I love spending time with my friends! We love going out or catching up over coffee or whatever. And I’m close to a lot of women in my work too. The example I mean is when people seem to ‘replace’ the husband role in their family with a friend.

for example, if im having a day out on a Sunday with my kid; the other adult there is going to be my husband - not my friend!

I just cannot fathom people marrying each other then literally not wanting to spend time together. What’s the point?

Blimey. I love dh a lot but he’s absolutely not my best friend.
I need more than Dh and the dc to fill all my cups so to speak. We both have a wide circle of friends that don’t cross over (and some that do). We enjoy spending time together and also apart pursuing our individual hobbies and friendships.
One day one of us will die first and leave the other behind (or we will separate) and whoever is left will need some kind of support around us. It’s not the reason that we invest in friendships but it’s healthy to have a life away from each other.
i know a few people like you and I find them weirdly co-dependent.
Saying that it’s Easter Sunday and we’ve been out for a big family lunch and are now home relaxing together in front of the fire (actually he’s just gone to make some dinner!).

Part of being an adult is being able, capable and happy to do things alone - not needing a crutch to see you through your life (be that husband, cushion, rampant rabbit etc).

I feel sorry for women who say their husband is their ‘best friend’ how sad that you don’t have a close enough friend to call them that.
My husband is my husband, I enjoy spending time with him and my kids. But I also enjoy spending time with my ‘best friends’ of which I have several.
I’ll never understand women who think their husband is the only person that matters. One day he could leave you, or die. That’s happened to several friends of mine. Then what? Who will be there to pick up the pieces? Certainly not any friends since you’ve made no effort with them.

Edited to add. You cannot get all your needs met by one person. That isn’t fair on them to put that on then for a start.
You need multiple people in your life, spouse/partner and best friends

This ^

I have friends who would absolutely choose their friends to spend time with over their husband and I just don’t get it?

I feel quite sad for you that you don't have the sort of friends that add value and enjoyment to your life.

Not quite sure why you think seeing friends sometimes and also spending time with your dh isn't possible.

I love my dh, but I have room in my life for some wonderful friends as well.
I am sorry you haven't understood the positivity, support, love, and laughter that friends can bring to your life.

@Stillearninglife your comment made me laugh. I’m also clocking up 30 years this year. And some days do be like that.

strangely those days are getting less often. I’m either numb to it, or couldn’t give a shit anymore or maybe it’s getting easier now the kids are adults

Some women grow up in environments that means they can’t recognise what a good partner is.

Some men change after marriage.

Some men were always lazy twats but before marriage it wasn’t noticeable and after marriage, especially kids, you can’t really ignore the laziness.

Sometimes couple change over time and they don’t really have that much in common any more.

Sometimes someone is battling mental health problems or addiction problems and it can change who they were when they fell in love. Their partner can still love them but not always like them.

To ward off the next next question, which will be well why don’t they leave.

Some women are modelled this and don’t know leaving is an option.

Some can’t leave because they have nowhere to go, no means to move with, no way to support them.

Some would be able to support themselves but don’t want to share custody of the kids.

Some would be able to support themselves but don’t want to uproot their kids.

Some are from backgrounds where they don’t feel able to leave because it’s not bad enough - “well he doesn’t hit me”.

Some don’t want to take the financial hit of a divorce.

Yes I think you’re right with this being the main issue - separate interests/hobbies. I realised this after 6 years with my ex-boyfriend. Forever grateful I didn’t end up marrying him.