Why do some women not like their husbands?

[whatsausername]

I mean this thread with all genuine sincerity, because my husband is the love of my life and also my best friend (married 5 years, together 10)

I absolutely love spending time with my husband, and family in general, and choose this above all else.

yet I have friends who would absolutely choose their friends to spend time with over their husband and I just don’t get it?

today is Easter Sunday and I couldn’t fathom not being with my husband and children

yet I have 2 very close friends who are spending today together, with their kids, but not their husbands. And this is the case for almost all things, all the time?

AIBU to think why are women marrying men they just don’t want to spend time with???

I guess not everyone is blessed with a wonderful husband.

A lot of women simply run out of time trying to find a man they would like to be with.

Having kids is too important to them so they settle for a semi decent man who they don’t particularly like but who will give her kids and stick around to raise them.

That said I see far more men who hate their wives than the opposite.

There is even an entire genre of comedy dedicated to “wife bad” style jokes.

Uuummm. You’re very lucky that you have a happy marriage and are still head over heeLs Besotted with your husband after being together 10 years.

sometimes people change and grow apart. Some people become unrecognisable compared to when they met. some people are dicks.

Some people love their partners but don’t feel the need to spend every waking moment together. They are secure in the relationships and feel able to follow their own interests separately whilst still having a happy relationship (DH and I).

it’s ok to have a life outside your partner. Maybe you don’t want one, but we’re all different.

Or some men DON’T change after marriage which is what the wives have an issue with.

Because that’s not how love works. I love my husband, but that’s not the only love I have. I also love my sisters, my parents, my best friends, like genuine love.

I love their company!

Im also around my husband a lot, I like variety.

Im going to guess you have a fairly simple mind, that’s not an insult, but some people don’t want as much stimulation as others. Perhaps you’re happy with the company of the same person 24/7, but it’s obvious to see why others aren’t.

Yes this. He was a perfectly good boyfriend and is a good father but husband? Fucking unfulfilling and disappointing quite frankly.
but here we find ourselves till there is a viable alternative!

You sound a bit needy OP. It's perfectly OK to enjoy the company of others and not to not want to be joined at the hip with DH.

I can't agree that having individual hobbies and interests is a negative.

I would say it can make for far more fulfilled and interesting individuals.

It also is quite handy when you have dc that are small enough to need a babysitter when you are both out at the same time, but you don't need one if the other parents is at home that night.

You only need to read a few of the relationship threads to realise that a lot of the time men check out a bit on family events. The two women probably have men who can't be bothered to come along to things so were proactive and did something together instead.

I’m glad to get rid of mine for the day. He’s going golfing with his friends tomorrow. Thank fuck, I’ve had to put up with his company for almost 2 weeks. I’ve planned days to here and there and when I asked him where he’d like to go, he was stumped and we just coasted. Bear in mind we both work ft and I seem to do all the kids organising too. He just turns up to work like a good boy.
Anyway, I’ll shut up now. You sound very naïve.

You do understand that people change, don't you?

So what happens when one of you dies, or you separate and have nothing, because your entire life revolved around your DH?

What an insightful reply, probably the best on this thread.

Today has just been a regular Sunday for us, I went to the gym whilst my husband took the kids for swimming lessons then I stayed at home with one child, one went out and one stayed with me (but mostly out with his friends)

The thing with husbands Vs friends is that you spend a lot more time with your husband but not with your friends so it's fun to go out with them from time to time even if that day is Easter Sunday.

I don't want to live joined at the hip with my husband, I need to be able to do what I need to do when I need to do it. If I could never do things alone/with friends I would feel extremely suffocated and our marriage would never last.

Very well said.

Those women probably felt the same as you op at one time but something or things happened and it is more complicated now. It could happen to you one day OP or to anyone.

To be honest I make sure I spend time with friends regularly because even with the perfect partner you never know what is around the corner. How many times are there posts on here from women who thought they had the perfect relationship until they find out otherwise, and then they have no friends to lean on because they abandoned them all for their 'perfect' man. I love spending time with my husband - we have been married 25 years - but I also recognise the value of maintaining friendships and having those relationships outside the marriage.

In time, life experience will answer this question for you. If not in your own relationship, then in seeing what happens in other people's.

If they’re such good friends, why can’t you ask them OP?

DH and I have been together for 27 years, since we were students. I love him and I can’t imagine being with anyone else, but as a 46yo going through the peri-menopause without HRT (not allowed), sometimes he is fucking annoying.

Guess you’re bored with each other though, right? Otherwise you wouldn’t be starting a controversial thread on MN. Maybe you should’ve gone out with your friends too..

I presume the point is that they’re married and it’s easier to just stay. Also financial pressures , mental heath issues, post natal depression put a lot of pressure on marriages.

I married mine because my previous relationships didn't end in marriage. The definition of my madness is doing the same thing and expecting the same result.
So I did something different.

We've been together 20 years and it probably won't go on much longer But it was fun whilst it lasted.

Why are you automatically blaming women like it is their fault?

They are probably out with their children and not their DH's because if they waited for DH's to go out, their children would always be missing out as they just wouldn't go anywhere.

Some men aren't as perfect as your husband. Surely you know that?

Yes, come on. Don't be naive. Or pretend you are. It's not cute.

I’ve seen this before. The love of your life is all you need until he’s not there and you’re alone.