Why do some women not like their husbands?

[whatsausername]

I mean this thread with all genuine sincerity, because my husband is the love of my life and also my best friend (married 5 years, together 10)

I absolutely love spending time with my husband, and family in general, and choose this above all else.

yet I have friends who would absolutely choose their friends to spend time with over their husband and I just don’t get it?

today is Easter Sunday and I couldn’t fathom not being with my husband and children

yet I have 2 very close friends who are spending today together, with their kids, but not their husbands. And this is the case for almost all things, all the time?

AIBU to think why are women marrying men they just don’t want to spend time with???

Like my wife............

I like spending time with my husband but sometimes I like to do other things with friends. I would get very bored spending every spare moment with just one person even my husband so yes YABU. Married 42 years but not joined at the hip.

Peaks and troughs. We have years when we adore each other and years when sometimes we actively dislike each other. We’ve been together and married a lot longer than you.

I love being with DH and family but also love my friends and socialising with other families we’re close to. But I do find it weird some families can never go on holiday without other people or do any activity on their own. We’ve got friends who always do things en masse and go on holiday on huge groups. Personally it makes me suspect something is up in their marriages if they’re never content to spend time together just as a family. When we do get together with them, it’s always the wives down one end, men down the other. They’re very trad wife types and it seems the norm for the other half’s fo leave the childcare to the wives and go off playing golf most weekends so maybe it’s not a surprise the wives are always moaning about them when you think about it!

Hahaha 🤣 not read the full thread but fuck off OP like you’re that green

My DH doesn’t do family, Mine or his. His choice.

I don’t want DS to miss out on family occasions.

Maybe it's not that they don't like their husbands but they already spend plenty of time with them and want to see other people as well

I love my husband, I enjoy spending time with him and we value family time together; but I also love my friends and enjoy my hobbies. Personally I don't equate the amount of time spent together as the only indicator of how much you love someone or enjoy being with them. I am fortunate though to have a lot of people who enrich my life and although we do have joint interests, we also have seperate ones we enjoy supporting eachother with.

Generally if people dislike their partners there are complex reasons why they stay.

Unexpectedly, my DH changed his personality for the worse when DC was born. A much-planned for baby too by both of us. I can’t to this day, properly express the stress I was through. We had been married for years at this point. We are ‘back on track’ but I can’t forget the hard times. Naturally, I want to retreat and do my own thing sometimes, while I lick my wounds in private before joining the ‘joined at the hip’ brigade again.

He is better now. But when things change sometimes it can’t be what it once was.

OP, there may be an event at some stage in your or your DH’s life that changes things forever too. Good times on hold or gone. I hope not, despite the wide eyed innocence of the post, I think you are genuinely confused. Hopefully some posts on here have explained why it’s not all roses for some.

28-32 isn’t “growing up with somebody. At that age you are a fully fledged adult

Give it time.

Just because you feel that way now doesn't mean you always will. People can change even after many years together. Men can become abusive at any point.

I have no interest in.........

Safari's in Kenya
Handbags, shoes etc

My wife has never/no interest in

Modern Monetary Theory
Been on the engine controls of a turbine steamer
Model Railways
Economics
Mamod

etc etc

So a bit of time apart works for both of us

Leaving aside the obvious scenarios you have chosen to pretend to ignore where two people don't get on or don't have anything in common (which have already been detailed but are multiple)... I can think of a million "positive" reasons why this might be the case.

Married couples don't have to be joined at the hip and wanting to spend time with a friend is in no way indicative that you don't love your spouse/significant other. In fact I distrust anyone who believes this to be the case.

Healthy individuals recognise that limiting their social circle to "my little family" is both dangerous and highly socially limiting. Dangerous because becoming emotionally reliant on one other person means you are vulnerable if for any reason that relationship breaks down. Limiting because you need a range of different viewpoints, perspectives, voices in your life. And dull because however wonderful someone is, there is going to be a limit to what you can do with them. Your spouse is never going to share all your hobbies, views, interests and thoughts.

And just because good friends are a massive source of positive energy for anyone and massively life enriching.

A marriage or partnership is only enriched by outside friendships and reference points. A marriage which can't accommodate this is weak and vulnerable. And anyone who believes friends are a threat or in any way diminish the marriage is a short-sighted fool.

Nobody goes into marriage thinking they are going to get divorced. We all start out happy...
Life can throw a lot at you as the years pass.

This

Could you genuinely not have worked this answer out for yourself?

"Thinking is difficult, that's why most people judge" - Carl Jung

I think it deoends on the couple and also how they are as individuals, I've never been able to have the kind of relationship where you live in each other's pockets as I really value(/need) independence. Plus since COVID me and my DH both WFH so I see him all the bloody time 😂 and then he's a homebody and I like going out and about, so often I will take the kids out with a friend and their kids(s) while he does stuff at home, and it's fine. It doesn't mean we don't like spending time together, just we do what works for us and keeps everyone happy/sane 😅

You are very lucky to be the perfect wife to your perfect husband and you can’t get enough of each other.

You must be really grateful and appreciative because it is unusual.

Obviously but most don’t marry immediately after dating. If you marry at 28 usually youve been with someone since your early 20s… in my case since I was a teen and married before 28. I definitely grew up with my husband and that shared history is very, very important to see you through the tough times in life.

I have been married 45 years (no children which helps) and we are still very happy.

I think lots (far too many) women are so desperate for children they marry without giving it enough thought. So no wonder so many marriages don't work out

I can quite imagine many women with their friends and kids wanting to celebrate the fun aspects of Easter together as many husbands would rather watch the racing or paint the skirting boards in the spare room.
Sadly, no matter how fun and sexy your husband once was, he will turn into a whinging dad who thinks every activity (apart from the pub) is a rip off and constantly goes on about lights being left on 😬

Well my ex didn't want to spend time with his children or me so we had to go out with friends/family. HTH.

My husband was my best friend till he went out and sex with a man he found online.

He told me a week ago BTW, it's been a shite Easter for me and the kids

I am. I have. I’d still pick my husband. It can work.

Although I can also understand it’s not the same for everyone.