Why do some women not like their husbands?

[whatsausername]

I mean this thread with all genuine sincerity, because my husband is the love of my life and also my best friend (married 5 years, together 10)

I absolutely love spending time with my husband, and family in general, and choose this above all else.

yet I have friends who would absolutely choose their friends to spend time with over their husband and I just don’t get it?

today is Easter Sunday and I couldn’t fathom not being with my husband and children

yet I have 2 very close friends who are spending today together, with their kids, but not their husbands. And this is the case for almost all things, all the time?

AIBU to think why are women marrying men they just don’t want to spend time with???

YABU. I would say my husband is my best friend - he's the person I like spending time with most and if for some strange reason I had to only choose one person to spend time with ever again, it'd be him. That's why I married him.

But you don't have to choose that, and friends are really, really important too - I find it very strange that you can't see why someone would choose to spend a Sunday with their mates instead of their husband. It's good for people generally and relationships specifically to spend time with other people - do you never see your friends?

If it's about it being Easter - Easter Sunday isn't exactly a big meaningful holiday for most people unless they're Christians - it's sunny here and it's a long weekend, if a handful of friends and their kids wanted to spend time together it's not like they've missed the opportunity to spend time with their partner over a 4-day weekend, is it?

Easter isn’t important to us all. I prefer to spend time with my family overall but also want to spend time with my friends. If Easter is just another day (which it is to me) then it matters not a bit!!! I think you know that tho, surely you know that??

What? I’ve been married 30 years and have two kids. If its a good marriage with a good person it doesn’t spoil.

Been married over 30 years and our relationship has changed massively over that time. Initially we were inseparable, and when our family were young, we were each other's support network without a lot of family support. Now our DC are all adults, we're a lot less dependent on each other and enjoy spending time apart as well as time together. His hobby often means a day out of the weekend and I couldn't be happier about it - doesn't mean I don't love him though. I just value my own space a lot more than I was able to many years ago.

Don't put all your eggs in one basket, pet.

Agree. Not 30 years but 19 years, he is honestly my favourite person.

He's a keeper, and it's great you feel that way because so so many men turn into giant children after having had their own.

Relationships change, the glow wears off. There are plenty like you, op, and others who wish they were somewhere else but feel stuck. That's life.

Been married 35 years, I love meeting friends but would choose husband and 2 adult kids everytime

This. My exhusband, as he was packing to leave me and our 3 and 2 year old sons, said " I want to do what I want, when I want and , as I can't do that with children, I have to leave". Thankfully I had a network of fabulous friends who slept at my house, put food in front of me and sat with me whilst I sobbed my heart out for weeks. Never, ever underestimate the value of good friends

I didn't read the OP as being needy and not wanting to have a life outside her husband. I read it as genuine curiosity as to why so many women do seem to dislike their husband's, as opposed to why many women have varied social outlets.

I've a full time job, lots of friends, a reasonable social life (I'm too knackered for more) and am definitely not reliant on my husband to fulfill all of my emotional needs. He still is my favourite person and I (thankfully) can't imagine disliking him or not enjoying being in his company. We have been together for 16 years and have 3 kids.

I do understand why it happens to many couples though and think the OP was looking insight into that, rather than actually not understanding how anyone can have a life outside a husband.

Same. 20 years later and hes still the person I’ve ever met 🫶🏽

So what you are asking is, why does someone else have a different husband and a different life than I do? Interesting discussion.

Lucky your husband picked you then, you must be a better wife than the rest

My husband is my best friend but I also have very close friendships that I invest time and effort in. I think there is a difference between apparently not liking your husband and wanting to spend time with friends because of this rather than loving your husband but also enjoying spending time with friends...

Yeah this. Saved me typing this. I love my DH and he is my best friend (puke emoji) And I DO love spending time with him/going on day trips/to the pub/for a walk etc... But I also like to have time alone, go for walks alone, have evenings alone 3 or 4 times a month, and do things/hobbies/have coffee with one of my 3 friends. (Or my adult DC.) If I had to spend every minute of every day of the year with DH I would kill him - only joking - (probably.)

.

@whatsausername please make sure you have a best friend that isn't your husband. Husbands shouldn't be your best friend.

My DH is the love of my life, I would die for him but he isn't my best friend and nor should he be. Best friends shouldn't be the person you share your bed with, they're the person who is most important in your life with zero strings attached.

The person who chose to be in your life, and stayed for all the chaos that life can bring but never stepped over that boundary into life partner.

If your DH is your best friend, your life is too small.

But are you sure it's not the husbands are off training for an ultramarathon/playing golf/visiting inlaws the wives aren't too keen on/attending a church the wives don't go to/working? I mean there are lots of reasons. It's just a day to most people unless they're observant Christians.

The wives may be just making the best of it?

Women are far more supportive and fun to be around generally tbf. Men become grumpy boring twats as they age 🤣 it’s good to have a balance of people in your life. My mum in her 70’s has only just discovered genuine female friendships and I feel sad for her that it took that long!

I wonder every day on here why women have such contempt for their husbands. Even when the OP on any given thread pleads their case, I am still left wondering half the time what it is the husband has done wrong,

I would say in a lot of cases men become a big disappointment compared to their early potential (not saying women don’t either but this thread is about men). At first my ex would go to the ends of the earth for me without me ever even asking him to, roll on a few years and he was a belligerent, moody bastard too fond of the booze. The change in attitude when I hadn’t actually done anything wrong was quite traumatising. He’s the biggest regret of my life but our kids are the best. I wish I had chosen more wisely.

I love my husband to bits 17 yrs married 20 together, but due to my husband's shift pattern and mine we can't always do stuff together but we do when we can. so its me and my pal end up going out with my child otherwise I would never get out with adult company. As does my friend.

I have just spent the week on holiday as a family and it's been great.

I think it's nice to have time apart doesn't mean o love him less than the perfect couple.

I don't think spending time with friends means people don't like their husbands. It often means that they like a varied social life and know that it's not always in your best interests to make one person your only person. I take it your friends have done something other than this to make you think they don't like their husbands?

People that grow together or grow apart in my experience of seeing couples over the last 30 years
One of our friends has just split up with her husband. He’s been abusive from day one she never said a word. Nobody would’ve known from the outside.

25 years down the drain

This speaks to the failures of the English education system in the 21st century. There are so many 19th century novels that one or more of us of a certain age had to read as set texts in school or university that would make the question null and void. OP, meet Gilbert Osmond, Henleigh Grandcourt, Mr. Casaubon, Sir Percival Glyde, Edward Murdstone and even Heathcliff.