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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Room allocation for SC

326 replies

Withoutfearorfavour · 19/04/2025 21:10

House being purchased 50/50 deposit and mortgage.
4 bedrooms
I have one child full time.
He has one twice a week.
I am adamant she has her room decorated in her preferred style. A lovely bed. Wardrobe with her own belongings etc.

Shes not a guest.
We do however need a guest room and we (he) will have guests weekly. He needs a study.
So do we have the study combined with the guest room? That feels fair.
But then I wonder if he should contribute more as he has more use of more rooms.

What do you think?

OP posts:
Tootiredtowhat · 19/04/2025 21:16

You can’t say that he has more rooms and then decide he should be paying more!!

Presumably both your guest will be using the guest room. Think it’s a bit rum for you to charge him for sticking a desk in there too.

NeringaCS · 19/04/2025 21:18

If you’re nitpicking about who has use of how many rooms, I really don’t think you’re ready to be buying a house together.

rwalker · 19/04/2025 21:18

That over complicating it are you going to pay more for your child as there with you FT and his there PT by that reckoning

MyDreamyRoseOrca · 19/04/2025 21:21

Long term lurker. But you’ve managed to drag me out and post because what the actual f*? Are you for real OP? He needs to pay more for putting a desk in a room? This has to be a joke.

namechangeGOT · 19/04/2025 21:24

This is silly. If you’re moving in together, then you’re moving in together. I spend more time in the bathroom than my husband, should I pay more? Or, your child will be there more often, are you paying more?

Original poster
Withoutfearorfavour · 19/04/2025 21:24

Its not just a desk situation. Itll be floor to ceiling “stuff”.

Imagine it the other way around. Its a full study that happens to have a bed.

OP posts:
Poppyseeds79 · 19/04/2025 21:28

Err, what would you do with the room otherwise? Just keep it empty to go and sit in so you're getting your equal monies worth? Sorry, but you thinking he needs to pay more sounds crackers.

CaptainFuture · 19/04/2025 21:31

Why is 'he' having a guest stay weekly?! That would be a hard no from me!

Ted27 · 19/04/2025 21:31

Sorry but its this sort of thinking that makes me glad I'm very single

Original poster
Withoutfearorfavour · 19/04/2025 21:32

CaptainFuture · 19/04/2025 21:31

Why is 'he' having a guest stay weekly?! That would be a hard no from me!

Just the way he lives his life, very sociable and friends from all over. And family abroad

OP posts:
Original poster
Withoutfearorfavour · 19/04/2025 21:32

I dont mind the guests at all tbf

OP posts:
JustAnotherManicMomday · 19/04/2025 21:33

Your child is home 7 days a week compared to his child's 2 so does that not mean you pay more in this situation as your child is eating, using spaces, water and power every day. Honestly, if you can't split bills evenly your not ready to live together. You can use a study, your child may use it for homework, his child is only visiting occasionally and should have their own room as they are not a guest either. 1 room per child one room as a study, sofa bed if you need extra space occasionally.

Hankunamatata · 19/04/2025 21:33

Are any if the rooms significantly bigger? Could you split around room into a guest room and study?

Hankunamatata · 19/04/2025 21:34

Garden room for an office?

toomuchfaff · 19/04/2025 21:34

Omfg you're nitpicking about who will be making more use of rooms ergo who should pay more toward the house.

Are you actually serious? Like for real?

SquirrelRed · 19/04/2025 21:35

Will you also be measuring how much water/electricity each person uses and splitting those bills dependent on use?

CinnamonBuns67 · 19/04/2025 21:35

If you had a 3 bed I'd understand that set up but you said you have 4 bedrooms why can't you guys have 1 room, your child have 1 room, your SC have 1 room and then 1 room left for the study? I have a 4 bed and that's the set up we had when my SC stayed over.

BendingSpoons · 19/04/2025 21:36

Be grateful you can afford a 4 bed house and you aren't having to make real compromises. You and your DP have a room, your DC has a room (potentially the 2nd best?), what more do you need?

fruitbrewhaha · 19/04/2025 21:36

Oh

Arlanymor · 19/04/2025 21:37

Why are you only thinking about this now if you’re on the cusp of purchasing? Or is that not the case? In which case think about it properly beforehand!

Original poster
Withoutfearorfavour · 19/04/2025 21:39

Arlanymor · 19/04/2025 21:37

Why are you only thinking about this now if you’re on the cusp of purchasing? Or is that not the case? In which case think about it properly beforehand!

This is exactly why I’m giving it a lot of thought now so that I don’t end up resentful later.

OP posts:
consistentlyinconsistent · 19/04/2025 21:40

Who will spend most time in the living room? Does he go to the toilet more than you? Should probably include that in your calculations.

Arlanymor · 19/04/2025 21:42

Withoutfearorfavour · 19/04/2025 21:39

This is exactly why I’m giving it a lot of thought now so that I don’t end up resentful later.

Show quote history

That’s fair enough. So if he does have people stay every week then you probably need a better solution that a shared room with his office if he WFH. Garden office or an annexe off the kitchen or similar, or if a large dining room/lounge then a shut away space? I find it unusual that there would be guests every single week, but I don’t know your life and if that is the case then you can’t contain the guest room and office in the same space.

EG94 · 19/04/2025 21:43

if you came to me and said darling I think in OUR 4 bed house that my child lives in more than yours but that aside, you should pay more because you have the use of office / spare room more than me I’d tell you forget it and leave you.

I can’t imagine ever being with someone like this. Bet you’re the sort that never lets buying a coffee go or asks a friend for the £1.19 for the milk they asked you to grab.

MrsBungle · 19/04/2025 21:43

Maybe you should pay more as you have a child there full time?

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