To think you should never cohabit with a man unless he’s paying the majority of the bills?

[ThisSereneSnail]

Split finances = split energy.

Should be 50:50

Are you the ‘protect and provide’ poster?

What the fuck are you talking about??

What does split energy mean?!

Why would he need to pay the majority?

Eh? Based on what context? Why wouldn’t it be split fairly, regardless of sex?

Maybe men shouldn't move in with entitled spongers.

It’s 50:50 in my relationship, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

🤔

The responses so far haven't gone the way you thought they might I suggest

I mean that when the financial foundation isn’t solid or feels uneven, it can ripple into everything else - how supported you feel, how you show up, how emotionally safe the relationship is. “Split finances, split energy” just sums up the idea that when both people are doing the exact same thing, often nobody is fully holding it down.

Because I believe in masculine provider energy and I’m not looking to split hairs or bills. If I’m showing up emotionally, practically, and often doing more of the invisible labour that keeps a household running, I don’t think it’s wild to expect financial leadership in return. It’s about alignment. Some of us just don’t want a 50/50 roommate dynamic in our relationships.

This makes no sense its just a jumble.of words

When I have lived with someone, we split the bills based on our earnings. He earned more, so paid more. If I had earned more, then I would have paid more.

I have no idea what this 'split energy' shite is about.

That works both ways. It should be proportional to salary to be fair.

Never move in together without agreeing it. And if you can't talk about money together then you shouldn't.

Definitely.
More tedious nonsense.

Meaningless drivel.

Because “fair” doesn’t always mean “equal in numbers.” In many relationships, women are already contributing more in emotional labour, home management, caregiving, and keeping the relationship connected. If the man is also paying exactly half - who’s really carrying more weight?

I’m not against balance. I just don’t believe identical roles = healthy dynamics. Some of us value traditional masculine provision - not out of weakness but because we bring a different kind of strength.

I'm increasingly thinking lately that we're on the Gilead version of Mumsnet, so much antiquated, antifeminist crap.

This would be that American 'Surrendered Wives' idea, perhaps? I don't think you are going to find many like minded people on Mumsnet, or convince anyone of your way of looking at things.

I think you’ve been spending too much time on the internet and not enough time with actual humans. I wish you luck finding a partner who will pay the majority of the bills and not expect more than the monetary equivalent in return. The “roommate dynamic” you disparage is more for your protection than his.

Good luck with that i cant see many men willingly going along with it no matter how much you might " value " it.

Most of us just want an equal partnership. Whether that means paying 50/50 or doing equal amounts of housework or whatever.

Currently, DH pays the majority of the bills, I pay for fun stuff. I work part time to reduce the childcare costs. We both do stuff round the house. We both do childcare.

Previously it's been exactly 50/50, sometimes I paid more sometimes he did.

We are not roommates nor do we have that energy. We are a partnership, a team, we work together for our shared life.