To think you should never cohabit with a man unless he’s paying the majority of the bills?

[ThisSereneSnail]

Split finances = split energy.

Think someone has hit the gin bottle too early 😆

what do you mean by “emotional labour”?

Emotional labour is the work of managing feelings - your own and other people’s. That includes things like remembering birthdays, smoothing over tensions, checking in after a bad day, planning meaningful time together, and noticing when something’s off and taking the lead to fix it.

Keeping the relationship connected means tending to the emotional health of the relationship - making sure it doesn’t go cold, distant, or transactional. In a lot of relationships, it’s the women who initiate difficult conversations, plan quality time, handle emotional check-ins and carry the mental load of keeping things emotionally stable.

You keep posting, but it still doesn’t make any sense…

You sound like you think the world owes you a living tbh.

What would happen if this ‘provider’ became ill and couldn’t work any more?

Was the ChatGPT prompt on purpose to make your posts sound like straight out of manosphere reddit?
masculine provider energy, leading in a relationship and what one is bringing to a table are expressions that no woman has used ever.

It’s always interesting how quickly a woman expressing a preference for masculine leadership gets reduced to a “pwincess” fantasy. What I described isn’t about helplessness - it’s about polarity, contribution, and mutual respect. But if it makes you feel better to mock it, go ahead. Still doesn’t make it any less valid.

What bollocks

It's not traditional, the shift towards patriarchal society was introduced during the bronze age during the agricultural rise and male strength became more useful to pull plows. But now noone needs to pull a plow by hand, so we don't need the patriarchy.

I’m aware and I’m okay with that. Not everything needs to be posted for agreement. Sometimes it’s just about saying the thing out loud that others are thinking but won’t say. I knew it would be unpopular, that doesn’t make it untrue.

I totally disagree and it’s responsibility of both to engage emotionally. Everything you state is the absolute minimum I would expect in a partner.

In 33 years of marriage I have never handled an emotional check in - what utter guff.

'masculine provider energy'. sounds so retro.

Are you one of these 'rinsers' that I was reading about online that expects a man to take you out for a luxury meal and drinks at a top restaurant and then give you an expensive Cartier jewellery piece because you think you are special and worth it?

Good luck with that.

It sounds like you want a man to fund your lifestyle tbh.

Not at all, I don’t think the world owes me anything. I just believe in complimentary roles where each person brings their strengths. If a provide became ill, the dynamics would shift - just like in any committed relationship. Support isn’t a one-way street. But a setback doesn’t cancel out the standard - it just reveals whether the relationship is built on genuine care or convenience.

And what if the woman earns more???

masculine provider energy 🤣

Or maybe it just sounds unfamiliar because women are finally putting language to what we’ve felt for a long time without sugarcoating it. Masculine provision and emotional polarity aren’t exclusive to the manosphere - they’re values many women hold. We’ve just been taught not to speak about them without apology. If that sounds “too polished” or uncomfortable, maybe that says more about the listener than the speaker.

Your idea of what "masculine energy" actually means is harmful. Men do not have to take the lead, they do not have to be passive in the labour they do within the home and in caring roles within their families. Being an active and equal partner and giving their partner the freedom of equality can be a very masculine, positive energy. What you're proposing is to uphold toxic masculinity within households, putting a lot of pressure on both men and women to be a certain way, thus causing frustration and resentment from both.
I hope you meet better men, OP.

Oh Elon, are you recruiting mummies in the UK now?

What a weird concept. When I was working pt and dh ft, I did more of the domestic load and he paid more of the bills. Now we are paid almost exactly the same and both work ft, we share the bills and the domestic load equally. It's not rocket science and it doesn't make us 'flatmates'

Male provider 'energy'

Your replies smack of regurgitated social media guff.

handle emotional check ins 😂

This is the best laugh I've had all day.

Why should one person be fully holding it down? And why the man? Why wouldn't you be a team?

Whoever makes more money should pay more.

I paid more in my first two relationships (my idea). Unfortunately, it led to them both also 'borrowing' money from me that they still owe me 20 and 17 years later respectively, but what can you do.

The third serious partner made more and subsequently paid more (his idea) but he was contradictorily an abusive arsehole about it too.

The next one made a lot more but insisted on 50-50 after the first few dates, but was also very happy to come to mine for dinner and eat steak and fresh fish (while he lived at home, gave his mummy 'keep', and the most I ever ate there was a prawn salad one day) and pretended to agree to pay towards my shopping bill the next time I was going to cook for both of us (but never did).

Now I'm happily married and my husband, who makes significantly more than I do, pays for everything (which, given that I'm now a SAHM and a housewife, only making 'parental leave' money here, is fair enough).