To respond this way to sister criticising my diet?

[ByOpenRubyReader]

I've been a vegetarian since 10 years old, now 35. My mum/dad have been supportive since the start but the same can not be said for my sister who constantly asks how I'm getting my protein, B12, nutrients etc and has since I've been a teenager.

She did it for the 1,000th time while we were out at a restaurant and instead of explaining for the 1,000th time I just asked her if there is any sort of nutritional/developmental deficiency why am I 6" taller than her, in far better shape than her and a multimillionaire while she regularly relies on our parents for money.

She didn't say anything for a second then raised her voice, asked what was wrong with me and stormed out. DF tried to get her to come back in but was unsuccessful and told me I shouldn't have said that but it was a long time coming.

AIBU to think this was a reasonable way to respond, keeping in mind I have told her over and over again to stop commenting on my diet?

You shouldn't have no but it sounds like typical stupid sibling stuff.

Now she knows though, if she didn't before.

I would say to both of you never be too smug: either of you could find you are suffering from something any day.

The “I’m in better shape than you” boasts can go awfully wrong. I’ve seen this first hand - most dramatically with a woman who was lording it over a overweight friend that she was so fit and healthy she needed to plan for a long retirement. She more or less said at a dinner party that our larger friend was “ lucky” ( tinkly laugh 🙄) that her weight meant she probably wouldn’t have lots of care home fees.

I think it was the following week that the health fiend was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer.

I'm not sure that was the right way to respond (what has being taller or a millionaire got to do with your diet?) but she is unreasonable to keep bringing the subject up.

The money comment was bitchy and unnecessary. Yabvu for that part.

You were nasty. It was unnecessary. I can see that her comments are irritating but you could have just said something like "Oh, not this again. I’ve told you all this loads of times before."

But it sounds like that's exactly the sort of thing the OP has been saying. For a long time. And it hasn't made any difference, it hasn't stopped the sister having digs. So it was time to try a different approach.

This. If she’s been making barbed comments and picking at your lifestyle for years I completely understand why you said it all - to make a point. Slightly ducking commenting on the funds but as she’s been constantly picking apart your lifestyle choices it was your equivalent response to her.

People who constantly criticise or ‘banter’ usually can’t take reciprocal responses. I had a friend who spent years making comments she thought were funny about my sex life (actually I was going through a marital split due to his infidelity so they were actually really hurtful). One day I’d had enough and made a similar barb back at her and she actually started screaming at me in public. If they can’t take the ‘bantz’ they shouldn’t give it out.

I bet she behaves like the biggest victim bullied by her very meanest of mean sister.

Which could have been simply telling the sister to seriously stop questioning op’s choices or she might stop contact.

What op said was unhinged, and says a lot about what she really thinks.

Unhinged is what you get when you have bashed your brains out on a ( metaphorical) brick wall for years. of course OP went mad. People go mad when tortured. The drip drip drip. Don’t blame the OP for being human .

I’m afraid I slightly agree with this last sentence.

I suspect it comes across and it’s what the sister has been needling at.

Well it suggests there isn’t some lack of intellectual development or energy levels due to her diet

Unhinged? Oh get over yourself. It was slightly snarky at best and tbh the woman had it coming. Sometimes when reasonable responses aren’t landing you have to try a different tack

You actually don’t “have” to; you can always just ignore comments.

You had a point up until you mentioned money so ultimately you’ve made yourself look a right tit. Embarrassed for you

B12 deficiency can impact communication skills. A test wouldn't hurt.

You don’t ”have to” do anything like OP did at all actually.

I think you did the right thing OP. If this has happened multiple times over 25 years then you were going to reach your limit at some point. And I do think the millionaire comment is perfectly justified if she had been making digs about vegetarianism having some sort of impact on mental acuity. And making snide remarks about your partner? She sounds thoroughly unpleasant.

She will think twice before making comments in the future.

I definitely think the money comment was justified if the OP’s sister has been making barbed comments about brain development for 25 years.

They sound like the sisters in Cinderella.

I was going to agree that your sister was wrong to comment on your diet until I saw your incredibly nasty comment about being a multimillionaire and her relying on your parents for money. You were very very spiteful to brag about year wealth and rub your sister’s nose in it. I would have walked out too, but would probably have poured my drink over your head before I did so.

Haha...I can see why you said it.

But the thing about being a multimillionaire made me laugh.

I guess you've saved loads of money by not buying meat? Otherwise it doesn't have much to do with your vegetarianism surely?

So bragging about being taller and healthier are ok but not about being wealthier?
why?
such a British attitude
In fact the OP can take credit for her money unlike her height

My uncle and his wife have been making comments about my diet for about 30 years. It is totally boring, and rude, and I don't even have to see them that often. I absolutely understand the frustration that made you snap. The problem is that if everything you said is actually true, then your sister already knows that, so saying it out loud was unkind, and unnecessary. I'd just apologise to her for snapping, and ask your parents to wait till you're not there and have a word with her to address her behaviour towards you more generally. If it comes from someone who isn't you, it might sink in.

My god that was unnecessarily nasty of you, using your wealthy status to deliberately and publicly spite her because of vegetarianism, she’s only talking about fucking food. Didn’t you know you can’t big yourself up by putting others down. My brother and his family are vegetarian and get the same comments but brush it off, I’d never speak to you again. You’ve really shown them who you are love.

But why do you also need to go public to tell all of Mumsnet that you are a multi millionaire?
Personally, I'm always suspicious of people who make a great deal of money.
Judging by what you said to your sister, it sounds like I could have a point.

To be honest, people are going at you on here because they’re threatened and irked by your wealth too. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ot sounds like your sister is pretty unpleasant to you and your H. She certainly had something coming. She’s not a fan of receiving what she dishes out, so she’s stormed off and cried. It happens. I’d just ignore it.