To respond this way to sister criticising my diet?

[ByOpenRubyReader]

I've been a vegetarian since 10 years old, now 35. My mum/dad have been supportive since the start but the same can not be said for my sister who constantly asks how I'm getting my protein, B12, nutrients etc and has since I've been a teenager.

She did it for the 1,000th time while we were out at a restaurant and instead of explaining for the 1,000th time I just asked her if there is any sort of nutritional/developmental deficiency why am I 6" taller than her, in far better shape than her and a multimillionaire while she regularly relies on our parents for money.

She didn't say anything for a second then raised her voice, asked what was wrong with me and stormed out. DF tried to get her to come back in but was unsuccessful and told me I shouldn't have said that but it was a long time coming.

AIBU to think this was a reasonable way to respond, keeping in mind I have told her over and over again to stop commenting on my diet?

One of my closest friends is fat, short and just about making it month to month 🤔 She does have a stonking sense of humour though.

You both need to just grow up. Why do you let her get to you? She obviously can’t handle anything different from her. Just see her for what she is and ignore the rest. It’s ridiculous in grown adults.

Tbh that’s exactly why I thought you’d mentioned it and in the context of your reply I personally don’t think it was an inappropriate comment. If you’ve had to put up with your sister picking at your choices on the regular like this, it’s understandable you would lose your patience. My sister does this to me all the time but about different things and her husband sometimes pick her up on it. I wish I had the confidence to have put her in her place also!

as OP said, it's really not that unlikely. Google says "According to the latest UBS Global Wealth Report, there are over 3 million millionaires in the UK".
(i.e. roughly about 4% of the population).

This is measured in assets rather than hard cash, so someone with a home over £1mil would count, of which there are surprisingly many (particularly in the SE, quite a bog standard family home in parts of outer London/the home counties could cost that much)

Even if less than a third of those were multi millionaires it's still like 1% of the population.

If you think of how many people post on mumsnet (8 million unique users every month according to a 2021 report to parliament, which has probably increased since) - if only 4% of them are millionaires it's still quite a lot

(as someone who is nowhere near btw 😀)

Good on you and I would also mention the money aspect in this scenario to demonstrate the point.

I get it and I don't blame you to be honest. She's been needling you for years and she had it coming.

I don't think my height, size or wealth is related to being a vegetarian in any way. If anything I wish I was the same height as her but it's just genetics!

She had it coming.

There are people who will just keep going till something stops them. Maybe this is her moment.
The multimillionaire comment was hurtful obviously, but I wonder if you had just been 1 paygrade above, or earned £5kpa more and had mentioned it, fewer people would be offended on your sister's behalf.

My first thought: You're a multimillionaire?! really?
My second thought: Maybe her continual prodding is and always was about jealousy, and you have just found that out by accident.

Then why mention at all in this context?! Her twattery was about being a vegetarian.
Your comment here just makes it look like you then just wanted to go
"Nnner nner..... I'm richer, thinner and taller than you!! 😜😜😜"

I don't blame you for being sick to death of her but you could just have said 'Surviving so far, thanks' or similar and then ignored her.

She must feel very inadequate to go on about it so much when you're clearly doing so much better than her.

I can see how you flew at another unnecessary comment by your sister, and said more that you possibly intended to in the moment.

Is it out of genuine concern or jealousy that your sister has her record stuck do you think. But either way how you choose to live is none of her concern, I assume you don’t question her on her choices.

And ignore the nasty comments MN posters can be incredibly bitchy if you have a £5 more than them 😂

The money comment was out of order, but I can see why you snapped.Probably best to have just said as another poster suggested and say " the same as the last 1000 times you asked"

Sounds like you have done a lot better than her in life, and this was the only thing she had to (in her head) bring you down a peg. When you slammed her hatred right back she had no where to go. I suspect that your relationship with her is now over as she clearly massively envies and resents you.

So that’s why I’m skint, it’s all them chicken dippers

It’s true what they say … money cannot but Class

She probably has always held the vegetarian thing as something she feels she can criticise you for, in a competitive relationship where in most areas you're 'winning'. Not that vegetarianism is in any way losing, but it's been something for her to feel is a weakness in some way. If she's scrabbling around for a way to tell herself you're lacking in nutrients, she must feel generally quite inferior to you. Can't you be generous with it and just humour her? Yes I know Diane, I'm going to have to be careful I get enough iron being on this veggie thing. You must have loads with all that red meat you eat. Lucky you.
I think you owe her an apology for what you said.

Sorry your comment about being a multimillionaire, (that’s of course if you are) is totally irrelevant and implies that only vegetarians are multimillionaires! I hate to ruin your delusion but there are many non vegetarian multimillionaires! I also know plenty of vegetarians who have crap health!

@ByOpenRubyReader

Are you younger than your sister? The reason I ask is because my oldest sister constantly has digs at me. She always loves to say how my degree is useless and how I messed up my nurse training the first time (had to stop for many complicated reasons) but trained later in my life. I always go into "little sister mode" and say nothing. The irony is she hasn't got a qualification to her name and lives in a filthy rented terraced house whilst I own my own property outright in a decent area. I'm not saying I am "better" than her in anyway, I'm not, but I have been more "successful" in life.
I mentioned this to a friend one day and he said that she must be jealous of me, TBH I had never considered that. Do you think that your sister is jealous of you?

Turkey twizzlers here.....🍗🍗

YANBU: she has been a complete twat and you put her in her place. Had she any actual facts at hand, she'd have used them to argue back but instead she flounced off knowing full well she was acting like an arse for the eleventy billionth time and you called her out on it. I'm not surprised you reacted how you did and see no issue with mentioning that not eating animal products has done nothing to inhibit your physical development or brain function and ability to accumulate good money. At least you can rest easy knowing she's unlikely to raise the subject again.

Yeah this.

You are reasonable to tell her to STFU about what you eat but what you said was nasty and spiteful and it does make you look like a bellend I'm afraid

So she spent years being incredibly rude to you

And now you've been rude back once.

I understand and I say that as a not vegetarian, not millionaire, short fat person.

honestly, I don't know why people are like this. I did actually used to be a vegetarian. I kind of wish I still was.

I always remember Romesh Ranganathan saying "the abuse I get for being vegan makes me miss racism". I think that just about sums it up really.

You snapped and I for one don't blame you.

in far better shape than her and a multimillionaire while she regularly relies on our parents for money.

Absolutely no need to say anything about wealth. You just wanted to stick the knife in and twist it.

Really cruel.

Very much giving these vibes OP

I don’t think you were being U as it sounds like you had explained it to her many times before and unless she is a total idiot it sounds as though she’s just deliberately trying to annoy you or spoil your lunch.

If I commented negatively in this way on someone’s dinner I would probably expect to be given pretty short shrift too TBH.

I bet she doesn’t mention it again 👍

If you do feel bad you could message her just saying you’re sorry you shouted but she has to appreciate that you have covered this thousands of times before and perhaps it’s better if you just agree to disagree on diet in future.