To respond this way to sister criticising my diet?

[ByOpenRubyReader]

I've been a vegetarian since 10 years old, now 35. My mum/dad have been supportive since the start but the same can not be said for my sister who constantly asks how I'm getting my protein, B12, nutrients etc and has since I've been a teenager.

She did it for the 1,000th time while we were out at a restaurant and instead of explaining for the 1,000th time I just asked her if there is any sort of nutritional/developmental deficiency why am I 6" taller than her, in far better shape than her and a multimillionaire while she regularly relies on our parents for money.

She didn't say anything for a second then raised her voice, asked what was wrong with me and stormed out. DF tried to get her to come back in but was unsuccessful and told me I shouldn't have said that but it was a long time coming.

AIBU to think this was a reasonable way to respond, keeping in mind I have told her over and over again to stop commenting on my diet?

why not? It sounds like she has been digging at the OP for a loooooooooong time.

It probably was a bit harsh what you said but then why does she get to badger you for years and you just have to put up with it. It maybe is a jealousy and it's something easy to focus on.

I had similar with a dietary change I had to make. My older sister was constantly making little jibes because the restaurant choice and food was often dictated by me. I tried to make comments back as it was upsetting but she didn't stop. It took her seeing me served a meal with the food item in I couldn't eat and the aftermath to realise I wasn't just being a princess to control everything and get attention.

Hopefully it will cool off a bit now but it's tiring always having someone sniping at your choices.
Maybe approach her and apologise for what you said but explain how you're tired of being constantly attacked for your food choices.

He is a very creative/arty type which she insists must mean he is gay or bisexual. I can understand why someone might think this at first glance, but having been with him for 10 years and trying for children right now I can confirm he is not!

Because the sisters criticism is easier to brush off because it is objectively not true. It is irritating and grating but nothing beyond that.

To say I am taller than you, I am thinner than you are objective statements. They are hurtful because they are true, and we might tell ourselves that body shape doesn’t matter. But as soon as someone (a loved one) says I am better because I am thinner it is going to be more hurtful. It isn’t opinion, it is fact; and you know the individual saying it believes it to be true.

Out of order to use your wealth, out of order to escalate things while out for a meal with your parents.

But she is being a pain to go on about it.

A calm direct word later would have been better all round.

Meh, sounds like she had it coming 🤷‍♀️

Fucking hell. Why do you even bother with her?

This. Unhinged. How fucking cruel, OP. You might have money, but it doesn’t buy manners.

I absolutely agree with you.

Why should she have to apologise?

I just love it when a bully gets their ass handed to them. Excellent!

She boosts herself up by putting you down, talking to you like you're an idiot and blowing you off the many times you've already politely asked her to stop.

Well, she didn't get away with it this time and she didn't like it. Tough shit!

Now if she starts it again, be sure to blast her again. Well done. :)

How are you feeling now OP? Now that you've firmly put your sister in her place. Do you feel great knowing you humiliated her so much she had to leave the restaurant upset? Feel great a nice meal out was ruined? Feel great that your parents were likely upset as well seeing their daughters bitch at each other in public? You could have had a quiet word with your sister before now and asked her not to mention it again instead of causing such unnecessary drama and upset. That was nasty

Does your sister have children? Could this be why you responded in such a hurtful way?

Despite being younger than you, she seems to have picked up attitudes from the 1970s in relation to your partner's sexuality.

Does she have a job and a partner?

I think the problem with these sort of issues is that if you respond unkindly or nasty you’ll lose the moral ground straight away and the other side can claim that they are the victim.
I think you have to apologise and afterwards say to her that her questions are a bit upsetting can she turn them down ? But only after she accepted your apology as a separate issue. And next time respond to her : I told this to you already. Why do you ask again ?
Or I’ve told you already . Let’s talk about something else. Let’s her be the fool not you.

I bet she won’t start with her shit again though.

According to op her parents agree that the sister 'had it coming'... so she seems to bitch with her parents about the sister?

I’m with you OP. She probably loves telling everyone about her vegan sister and your poor choices. Truth hurts. Maybe fire off a text ‘Sorry shouldn’t have said wait I did. But you have been banging on about my lack of nutrients since I was 10. I’m fine really. I’m doing ok, that was my point.’

I think she deserved it. People like that can always dish it but can’t take it. Also - the millionaire part was a bit of a low blow.

I agree with this. And they always run off crying.

Looking back I'm not so sure I should have said it in case it has genuinely upset her but I don't have much regret. I don't think my parents were upset and they haven't asked me to apologise.

I'm used to hostility as a business owner and have used much harsher variations of this line in the professional world if someone (almost always a privileged old man) is being disrespectful because of my gender, accent, upbringing etc because it works so well and catches people off guard.

Good, looks like you’re well prepared to stand your ground and not apologise. Sometimes being harsh teaches a lesson, and your sister sounds like she long deserved it.

My sister has a middle class job, a stable relationship with her partner and I don't think she actually has anything against gay people. She doesn't say it quite so directly and doesn't say anything to his face but there are constant "jokes" when he isn't here.

So the OP should feel bad because the bully got a push back?

No, fuck that. Sister sound envious and insufferable, and it sounds like the OP has held this in for years. She got a bit back of what she has been dishing out, and as is always the case with people like this, she couldnt take it. Tough.

Uhhh yeah I'm definitely not going to apologise.