To be fuming at her for this!

[Sicksicksick9]

I own a caravan in Wales and I invited my best friend and her 4 children to come to it for the week for a free holiday with my DS4 her DC are 12, 8 8 and 9 months. started off well but 4 nights in and at 9pm her youngest started being sick now she’s been sick and her and all her kids have been sick at this point it’s now midnight and she’s like I wanna go home. We came in my car though so I’ve now had to cut my DS holiday short to go home in the middle of the night in a 3 hour drive sitting with kids being sick she’s refusing to let me drive my own car stating “not being funny but you’ll make everyone sick with your driving!” My DS is terrified of sick my friend has shouted at him to stop screaming when everyone’s being sick I just feel like this isn’t fair. I think if it was me I’d have seen the night out and got my partner to pick me up in the morning but she was having none of it!!
im angry to the point I don’t think I want to be around her anymore
not drip feed but earlier in the week she passed me her phone to fix something and she’d text her partner complaining about my DS because in her words is “a fucking nightmare” for crying over wanting a donut the crying lasted less than 5 mins yet I’ve listened to her youngest cry every hour of the day and not complained to anyone. Anyway am I being unreasonable to be fuming at going home in the middle of the night when her partner could have picked her up in the morning

I very much doubt she's got DOC cover. Being fully comp on your own car doesn't mean you're legal to drive other cars so it's likely she's driving illegally.

Why on earth wouldn't you have stopped her putting her stuff in your car? Youve woken up to her packing and then obviously packed your own stuff up too rather than just ignoring her. So odd

Why are you squeezed in the back, and where is all your luggage?!

Children aren’t known for packing light. 7 seaters don’t have any luggage space when full of people.

Your son needs to get a grip, shaking, crying and screaming?!

I thought it would be because you quoted the bloody OP!

Dump her. But 5 kids in a touring caravan beyond mad.

What possessed you to have seven people staying in a touring caravan with no bedrooms? This would be a nightmare even before the sickness. Your child does sound a little bit annoying if he was crying for a donut and screaming/crying at the other children being sick and adding to all the chaos. No wonder she wanted to go home and settle everyone in their own beds but she should have got her partner or someone else to collect them

That’s not how insurance works and is a common misconception.

in any event I’d have refused as you and your son are now clearly going to catch their bug after sitting in the car next to them!

I think you had good intentions with the holiday, but 5 children and 2 unrelated/non-cohabiting adults in a touring caravan with all of you right on top of each other constantly was always going to lead to tensions and annoyances. Add in illness and I’m not surprised she reached the end of her tether and just wants to get home. It could just of easily have been you who hit that point in the middle of one of the nights.

if you are genuinely usually really good friends, and I have to assume you are otherwise why would you willingly offer to do this holiday in the first place, then I think you should chalk this up to a valuable lesson on where the line is between ‘enjoy spending time with you’ and ‘if you breathe that loud again I’m going to scream’. This was just too much close proximity, over too long of a period, with the joyous addition of multiple people vomiting.

As it's already become a hostile environment, I personally wouldn't have chosen to wait for the morning for them to go home. I would prefer going home at his point rather than carrying on sleeping in a small confined place with kids being sick everywhere where I've just argued with their parent to say that her partner could pick them up in the morning. I would rather endure that 3 hour drive and have my holiday cut short than spend any more hours with her. Lesson learned, never ever bring people in your small confined space. If it was a hotel room, you just shut your door and leave them to it.

To be honest OP, finding out that a friend said my DC is a ‘fucking nightmare’ would make me end the friendship. She gave you her phone and you saw it, so you can confront her about it.

Well said. I'm not even sure I'd handle a caravan with my own family!

The friendship is dead.

Its a hard but valuable lesson for you.

I would have told her to get a fucking uber

I mean having 4 kids being sick all night in caravan is probably a nightmare with the one small bathroom.

I can see why she wanted to get out. Not fair for her to force you to leave if you didn’t want.

comparing a 9month old crying to a 4 year old is a bit unreasonable of you though.

not ok to read her texts either. People are allowed to have private gripes about people. Done at mean they hate you, but 5 kids in a caravan would be wearing on anybody

i don’t think it’s friendship ending, it’s just you’ve found a boundary. Feels sorry you both, 4 vomiting kids and kids scared of vomit IN A CARAVAN sounds like pure hell for you both.

Go back to your caravan tomorrow and enjoy the rest of your holiday in peace.

PS her husband should have collected them all.

It was very generous of you to think of your friend and offer a free holiday OP. Did she appreciate the offer? If you are always being generous to her I wonder if she takes you granted.

It's no good looking back after the event and thinking what a bad idea it was to all share in such close proximity, it's done and you need to decide after giving each other plenty of space if you can carry on being friends.

It sounds like you have an easy familiarity with each other (she gave you her phone to do something?), and it seems a shame to stop being friends, but only if you can get over her grabbing your car keys etc it sounds humiliating. Has she driven your car before?

With the kids vomiting it was her breaking point, but she didn't care about you at this point, very stressed out and could only think of taking as much control for herself as possible, being at home with vomiting kids would be mega stressful, in a confined space even worse. Good luck.

7 people in a tourer? What the fuck.

Agree with @beAsensible1 it sounds like pure hell for you both and you've found a boundary.

YANBU at being upset at being taken home against your will.

But in fact, your will wasn’t very strong at all was it OP.

I’m wondering if you are so very passive, that when the vomiting started, she felt obliged to take charge and get you all home….to put an end to the nightmare situation. At least the non-vomiting children could sleep in the car. Maybe after 4 days in wet and windy Wales, your friend had simply had more than enough anyway and the vomiting was the last straw for her. Who knows.

Or maybe you didn’t want to be left alone on holiday with your son with a poor weather forecast and no company/nobody to help make decisions or entertain and discipline your child?
Who knows exactly what this situation looked like to your friend.

It’s quite difficult to empathise with the scenario which you say you really didn’t want but did absolutely nothing to object to.

Surely you don’t allow yourself to be hijacked in the middle of the night in your own car, with a vomiting driver and four vomiting children, all against your will, without putting up a fight ?

Sounds to me as if the friendship might be over anyway OP, so no need to worry about that. I hope you and your little one don’t get sick and I hope you are all home safely by now.

I don't understand where 2 adults and 5 kids, including a baby who needs a cot have been sleeping in a tourer.

@Jumpingthruhoopsif there was a statement saying “trigger warning - vomit” how would that be any better than you stopping reading as soon as vomit was mentioned? Surely both make you think of vomit?! And if you’re so triggered why do you keep returning to the post?!

@Infosecinthecity agree with this post.

You were well intentioned but didn't really think it through. Also, even if she were insured to drive the car on a 3rd party basis, had she had an accident that was deemed her fault and damaged your car, you'd have had to pay the repair costs out of your own pocket or persuaded her to cough up. That is not a risk I'd have taken with what seems to be the family car especially if it was anything other than a banger.

I think your 4 yr old crying for 5 minutes over a donut and then crying about the sick would have been very hard to cope with, all whilst dealing with 4 other kids chundering away. The stuff of nightmares and a horrible situation for you all. She probably just wanted to get home before she went down with whatever it was.

Hopefully you are now safely tucked up in bed away from all the sick ones . I’d be wanting to go back and clean my caravan too , maybe she can pay for someone to do that !? What a nightmare

Agree! We'd be having trigger warnings for everything...