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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming at her for this!

422 replies

Sicksicksick9 · 19/04/2025 02:05

I own a caravan in Wales and I invited my best friend and her 4 children to come to it for the week for a free holiday with my DS4 her DC are 12, 8 8 and 9 months. started off well but 4 nights in and at 9pm her youngest started being sick now she’s been sick and her and all her kids have been sick at this point it’s now midnight and she’s like I wanna go home. We came in my car though so I’ve now had to cut my DS holiday short to go home in the middle of the night in a 3 hour drive sitting with kids being sick she’s refusing to let me drive my own car stating “not being funny but you’ll make everyone sick with your driving!” My DS is terrified of sick my friend has shouted at him to stop screaming when everyone’s being sick I just feel like this isn’t fair. I think if it was me I’d have seen the night out and got my partner to pick me up in the morning but she was having none of it!!
im angry to the point I don’t think I want to be around her anymore
not drip feed but earlier in the week she passed me her phone to fix something and she’d text her partner complaining about my DS because in her words is “a fucking nightmare” for crying over wanting a donut the crying lasted less than 5 mins yet I’ve listened to her youngest cry every hour of the day and not complained to anyone. Anyway am I being unreasonable to be fuming at going home in the middle of the night when her partner could have picked her up in the morning

OP posts:
angela1952 · 20/04/2025 22:22

I'd just take her to the nearest station.

Pepsiewomen · 20/04/2025 22:29

I definitely wouldn't have anything to do with her ever again except to tell her about the text you saw on her phone and tell her a few home truths about her and her kids like they are a nightmare and tell her not to ever call your child again and all you were doing was being nice giving her a bit of a holiday with her kids and all you got in return was to be woken up by some mad bitch wanting to go home in the middle of the night because her kids were throwing up that is so selfish making you take her home and having the cheek to make you sit with her sick kids why she drove your car without bloody asking I think she sounds like a nasty bitch who doesn't deserve your friendship.

KeepYaHeadUp · 20/04/2025 22:36

CaptainFuture · 19/04/2025 07:03

I know! It's also the only phobia I know of that seems to have such a need for control of others discussions!

Show quote history

Emetophobe here - don’t tar us all with the same brush please. It’s a common phobia, and can be debilitating but many of us are managing it with counselling, etc and not demanding control over anyone.

anonymous11111111 · 20/04/2025 22:40

Even though I agree that that was an unreasonable thing for her to do, she's just trying to protect her kids and the ones she loves. I think there must be an additional stress added to her so I would take some time away and then communicate your feelings and ask her why she reacted in this way.

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 20/04/2025 22:41

woke my DS up who was shaking and crying

He must be a Mumsnetter

Babyghirl · 20/04/2025 22:45

Why are you posting this again you already have a thread about this during the week.

BunnyLake · 20/04/2025 22:49

Babyghirl · 20/04/2025 22:45

Why are you posting this again you already have a thread about this during the week.

Thought it was longer ago than that. It feels like a couple if weeks at least. But I wasn’t imagining it then was I, this thread has been here before!

BunnyLake · 20/04/2025 22:51

angela1952 · 20/04/2025 22:22

I'd just take her to the nearest station.

She probably arrived at the station (or back home) at least a week ago.

Flowerpower456 · 20/04/2025 22:54

Jumpingthruhoops · 19/04/2025 03:46

I haven't got 'that far down the thread'; as soon as I saw what it was about I stopped reading. If there's a warning beforehand, I wouldn't have clicked on it at all.
My message was to the OP. As you quite evidently know nothing about this phobia/illness, you've really no business responding.

Show quote history

If you are so triggered why are you continuing to click on this thread and reply to others comments? Surely you would have stopped reading the OP post and moved on… by your logic anyone posting on Mumsnet needs to preface any post with a trigger warning for absolutely anything! Please do not compare a fear of sick to more serious issues as previous posters have also said, very offensive.

LastMile · 20/04/2025 22:57

DiamondEyes976 · 19/04/2025 09:57

This thread is weird. I can 100% understand her wanting to go home, all her kids are throwing up and the rest of you are likely to be next. If not ill myself, I’d want to get home and give my caravan a deep clean.

This!!

Velmy · 20/04/2025 23:00

Oh OP, you have nobody to blame but yourself here.

You're an adult...you didn't have to leave, didn't have to get in your car, didn't have to let her drive.

Please start standing up for yourself!

ConstanceM · 20/04/2025 23:07

Another nonsensical MN admin plant story. Does anybody believe this happened. How did they travel with 2 adults and 7 kids to begin with. If your gonna bullshit get your narrative right. Bore off

ErinBell01 · 20/04/2025 23:20

Sicksicksick9 · 19/04/2025 02:27

It’s fully comp so third party insurance

Show quote history

I wouldn't have let her drive my car for 3 hours during the night unless it was a matter of life and death.
She sounds awful, you know that's the end of the friendship - and a great story to tell for evermore!

profile22 · 20/04/2025 23:21

I think she sounds horrible tbh, and a bit of a brat. The fact she’s there enjoying a free holiday with 4 children, and then has the nerve to complain about your child and tell your child off, the friendship would be over. Sorry you’ve been treated this way.

Velmy · 20/04/2025 23:55

ConstanceM · 20/04/2025 23:07

Another nonsensical MN admin plant story. Does anybody believe this happened. How did they travel with 2 adults and 7 kids to begin with. If your gonna bullshit get your narrative right. Bore off

Two adults and five kids, seven seater car.

DBD1975 · 21/04/2025 00:24

Seven people in a caravan would be my idea of hell, even before they all started being unwell. Wouldn't have invited them in the first place, just a recipe for conflict, tension and grief.
Nothing can be done about it now and cannot see how your friendship can survive unless you both want it too.

DBD1975 · 21/04/2025 00:44

I needed a trigger warning at 7 people in a touring caravan! 🤣

PlumpHobbit · 21/04/2025 00:54

No, no and no would have been my response to her demanding i drive them home, especially as I'm emetophobic of other people's sick. I'd be joining your ds in crying and screaming at the sick

Is she insured to drive your car?

She's subjecting your poor son to his phobia, in close contact

Its probably a sick bug, so is all but guaranteeing you and/or son will be infected

The fact she just helped herself to your keys? I'd go absolutely bat s**t crazy.

I'd absolutely hate being in a caravan with them as well, but at least there's a loo they could use, i think if everyone had stayed put, If I was you I'd have taken my son and slept in the car least it would be sick free, especially as you say it doesn't have individual rooms. Stuck in a caravan with people throwing up sounds my idea of hell as an emetophobe

CJsGoldfish · 21/04/2025 01:33

Sicksicksick9 · 19/04/2025 02:10

She’s turned all the lights on and was packing woke my DS up who was shaking and crying about the sick and was throwing everything in my car I’m absolutely raging as I sit in the back of my car being driven 3 hours home stuck be tween kids being sick I really don’t think I can continue this friendship!
I hadn’t mentioned the text that I’d seen it because I didn’t wanna cause unnecessary tension for anyone but I’m so fucking angry

I know this shouldn't have made me laugh but the idea of you raging in the back of your own car between vomiting kids did make me chuckle. Were you clasping your bag in front of you?

There was no need for you to be in that situation but you chose to be. There is passive and then there is this. Hopefully you found your backbone during the 3 hour journey home

caringcarer · 21/04/2025 02:21

You should have said. I'm going back to bed. Get your DH to collect you on the morning.

Tameys · 21/04/2025 07:17

CJsGoldfish · 21/04/2025 01:33

I know this shouldn't have made me laugh but the idea of you raging in the back of your own car between vomiting kids did make me chuckle. Were you clasping your bag in front of you?

There was no need for you to be in that situation but you chose to be. There is passive and then there is this. Hopefully you found your backbone during the 3 hour journey home

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Exactly. Imagine hearing in real life someone tell you such a poor me Easter holiday tale?????

Expect people to back away and strike your name mentally off their list because you would tolerate such a farce that ruined your childs holiday.

StaryEyes1978 · 21/04/2025 07:50

Sicksicksick9 · 19/04/2025 02:41

Both of us are fully comp

Show quote history

Doesn’t matter if you see both fully comp. Unless she is a named driver on your policy she isn’t insured to drive your car. Driving other cars extension ( which is the bit in your policy that allows someone to drive your car is for emergencies only, you could argue that this is an emergency but I’m not sure your insurance company would agree) and even if they do, it literally will only cover Third party damage so if she causes an accident and writes off your car then you wouldn’t be covered.

never let someone else drive your car unless named driver. It’s madness!

also it’s your car, I’d have told her to fuck right off if she wanted to drive my car home in the middle of the night. Not sure why you didn’t.

Flowerpower456 · 21/04/2025 08:01

Obviously you didn’t pay much attention as it was 5 children and she stated she has a 7 seater.

T1Dmama · 21/04/2025 08:29

Bikergran · 19/04/2025 19:42

Is she insured to drive your car? Nobody but DH (who is named on the policy) drives mine!!!

This.
I appreciate she’s fully comp on her own car, making her third party on yours… but there’s no way I’d let her drive my car… if there was an accident your car wouldn’t be covered - only the car she hit… would
she replace or pay for your car to mended?! I bet not @Sicksicksick9 !
I also wouldn’t let someone who is throwing up drive my car whether they’re fully
comp or not! When I’ve been throwing up it’s bloody impossible to concentrate on the road!

Her being sick and all the kids alone would be me telling her she’s not to fit to drive and she’d be sat in the back between her pukey kids holding the bucket for them!…. I’d be in the front driving as far away from them all as possible and my son would also be in front with airbag turned off ….

I’d be blocking her now and having nothing more to do with her! She sounds awful

T1Dmama · 21/04/2025 08:42

she wouldn’t ‘let you’ drive your own car! She said ‘not being funny but your driving would everyone sick!’…..
wasn’t the whole point that they were already being sick? Hope they didn’t puke in your car!!
I understand she’d want to be home as being sick and having sick kids is horrendous! BUT the way she spoke to you about your driving is disgusting and I’d have told her that she doesn’t have permission to drive your car so she needs to arrange for someone else to come and get her in the morning! Although I’d have wanted to come home before I started throwing up too - did you and your DS avoid getting the sickness bug?
I wouldn’t be arsed with the friendship now, not because she was sick or wanted to come early - but because of the way she spoke to you and your son!